Second Chances
by CaseyBensonNovak
Summary: When Casey was censured, she left everything behind in a fit of depression, including the woman she loved.  Four years later, she's back, with the hope that her relationship with Olivia can rekindle.  When Olivia forgives her, love brings a second chance.
1. Chapter 1

Casey sighed as she poured a cup of coffee from the pot on the stove. For the last six hours, her mind had played back the conversation with Olivia, as if on constant loop. Olivia's words echoed in her head, haunting her. "You and your office have lost your nerve," the brunette had declared, among other things that Casey was trying her hardest to avoid.

It was true that the attorney had not been the nicest person, either, but it was different. EVERYTHING was different. Elliot was gone, Huang was gone, and now her main reason for coming back seemed to have a personal vendetta against her. Casey shook her head, sighing once more as she opened the sugar jar. Just as she reached for a spoon, a knock on the door startled her. "Coming," she called out. Laying the lid on the counter, she made her way out of the kitchen and through the living room to the front door. Without bothering to peer through the peep hole (she knew that knock all too well), Casey unlatched the chain and opened her front door.

Despite the fact that she knew it was Olivia before she answered the door, seeing the older woman standing there in front of her still surprised Casey. She stood there blankly for some time, unsure what to say or do. Olivia finally broke the silence. "Are you just going to stand there or are you going to let me in?"

"I'm just-" Casey stopped, and without another word, she stepped aside, allowing Olivia to walk past her and enter the apartment. "What are you doing here?"

Olivia stopped in her tracks and looked at her. "I failed to realize that I wasn't allowed here. Is there a 'no Benson allowed' sign on the door?"

Casey closed the front door with more force than was necessary and leaned against it, folding her arms across her chest. "No, there is not," she replied, her icy tone resurfacing from earlier in the day. "I'm just surprised to see you, seeing as how I'm an incompetent ADA." She knew she should have refrained from saying that, but she was too irritated and hurt to care.

"I never called you incompetent," Olivia informed her, her brown eyes narrowed into a glare that could have frozen hell. "Don't go putting words into my mouth, Casey."

"Did you come here to argue more, is that it?" Casey asked. "Am I right in thinking that you probably gave Cabot a happy, love filled welcome back? And since she's back, you have no need for me anymore, right? Meanwhile you have been nothing but a bitch towards me!"

Olivia sighed as she sat down on the couch. "Casey, it's not like that, and please stop assuming things that aren't true!" "Why not?" Casey demanded. "I bet everyone else does. Ask your new detectives what they think of when they hear my name. They probably think liar and bitch, just like a majority of people at my office! They all know that I got in trouble with the Bar, but what they don't know is the truth. And yet…" Casey shook her head, biting back the tears that she had been fighting all day. She sat down in the recliner and faced Olivia. "They think I'm a horrible person, Olivia. I can see it in the looks they give me. Hardly anyone knows what really happened, and yet they still judge me, they still look down on me."

Silence fell once more on the room. For several long moments, neither woman sad a word. Finally, Olivia spoke. "I don't look down on you," she assured the redhead, looking into her eyes. "Because I know what really happened. And I am really glad you're back, so please do not think otherwise."

"Then why do we keep fighting, Olivia?" Casey asked, shifting a little in the chair. "You know why I left the office. I didn't have a choice."

"I know that," Olivia replied. "But you didn't have to leave New York, Casey. You have no idea how much it hurt that morning I woke up and found your letter saying that you were moving to California. You didn't elaborate WHERE, but that wasn't what hurt the most. The pain came from the fact that you never warned me, and you never gave me a chance to have a say in it."

Casey looked at the floor. The memory of the night she stayed up until four AM writing and rewriting the letter informing the woman that she loved that she was leaving flooded back to her in vivid detail. And the fact that Olivia had just admitted that she was hurting, which was something the detective never did, only added to the attorney's shame. "I'm sorry," she mumbled. "I couldn't handle the city anymore. I couldn't wake up every morning and not go to court. When the censure came from the Bar, I felt as if I was spinning in a tunnel with no way out. I was so ashamed of what had happened. I felt like you and the rest of the squad hated me for boggling the case and losing the conviction, and I cracked. I chickened out and ran away, instead of facing the problem."

Olivia nodded. "I understand. But you never asked if I was mad. You never gave me the chance to help you through the pain, Case. Together, we could have turned the mountain back into a molehill."

Casey continued to focus her attention on the carpet. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I came back to tell you that, to prove it, if that makes sense. When I was in California, every day without you felt like a year. When the DA's office hired me back when my censure ended, I had already started packing. That call cemented my decision." Casey stood up from the chair and walked over to the sofa where Olivia was sitting. She cautiously sat down next to her and turned to face her. "Can you ever forgive me for being so stupid?" she asked, feeling her heart lift hopefully.

Olivia didn't answer for some time. When she did, it was a better answer than Casey could have ever hoped for. "I forgive you, Casey. I know how desperate and scared you were. I wish you would have come to your own girlfriend, but I understand now why you didn't." She turned to Casey, who wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. Olivia smiled softly, rubbing her back in small circles the way Casey had always liked. Casey exhaled slowly, grateful for Olivia's forgiveness.

"I missed you," Casey murmured.

"I missed you too," Olivia replied quietly.

Casey buried her head in Olivia's chest, finally releasing the tears that had been building all day. She knew they had to discuss where they stood relationship wise, but for now, that was the least of her worries. For now she was just glad to be home.


	2. Chapter 2

"Olivia?"

"Yes?"

Casey turned from the stove, the coffee pot in her right hand. "I never gave anyone my address. I mean, I'm thrilled that you came, of course, but where did you get it?"

Olivia shrugged, snatching a cracker from the tray on the counter. She piled it with cheese and pepperoni. "I looked it up." Seeing Casey's eyebrows raise, she sighed. "Look, would you rather I didn't show up and just wait until work tomorrow to apologize in front of everyone, including Detective Amaro?"

"No, I just-" Casey shook her head and turned back to the two tall mugs on the counter. Filling each to the brim with the scalding coffee, she placed the coffee pot back on the maker. "You can never be too careful, that's all. Imagine who could get my address, or anyone's address, for that matter."

"Casey, I'm not just anyone. I'm your girlfriend," Olivia pointed out. She walked over to where Casey stood and wrapped her arms around the redhead from behind. "Have I told you how happy I am that you're back?" she whispered, kissing Casey's neck.

Casey moaned softly. "Maybe once or twice, but I think I need a refresher," she murmured. Not that that was the full truth. If she were to be honest with herself, Casey knew she merely wanted to hear the woman she loved say it again.

Olivia turned her around and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. She threaded her fingers through Casey's silky red hair. The attorney gasped softly as Olivia's hand found her breast and grasped it. Then, just as quickly as it had started, the kiss was over. Olivia smiled at the confused look Casey gave her. "Coffee's ready," she said with a playful smirk. She sidestepped Casey and reached for the sugar. Opening the refrigerator, she pulled out a bottle of French vanilla coffee creamer and held it up as if it were evidence. "Someone still has her vanilla addiction," she joked.

Casey grinned sheepishly. "What can I say? I love my French vanilla."

"Oh la la," Olivia responded with another smirk.

Casey rolled her eyes. "Leave it to you to say that." She watched as Olivia slowly stirred a dash of creamer and three teaspoons of sugar into one mug and only two teaspoons of sugar into the other. She smiled as Olivia handed her the one with the creamer in it. "You remembered how I like it," she murmured, taking a small sip.

"Of course I did," Olivia told her, walking over to stand next to her. She took more than a sip of her own coffee. Casey winced, wondering, as she always did, how the burning liquid didn't seem to faze the detective.

"I see you still like yours black," the redhead observed. "Isn't it strange how, while the big things in life change constantly, the little things are the ones that remain constant?"

Olivia placed her mug gently on the counter. "How so?" she asked.

"Well, think about everything that has changed in the last few years," Casey replied. "I lost my license for four years, Alexandra Cabot came back, Elliot left, SVU gained two new detectives in his place, and then I came back. And yet here we are, standing here, fascinated by the fact that despite all those huge parts of our lives changing, we still hold onto the little things, like our coffee preferences, for instance."

"I guess a lot has changed, hasn't it?" Olivia asked softly. "I never thought of it that way, but you're right." She sighed. "I kept hoping that Elliot would somehow recover from the shooting and his suspension. Some part of me stubbornly held onto the hope that one day, he would be back sitting in front of me as my partner. The news of his resignation hit me like a ton of bricks, if you will pardon the cliché. There has only been one occasion on which I cried more than I did the night Cragen delivered the news, and that was the morning I woke up to see that you were gone." Olivia paused, and for several moments, the only audible sound was the tick tock of the clock Casey had hung above the stove. "It brought a ton of emotions," the brunette finally continued. "I was hurt that he left, angry even. And then we had these new detectives, rookies, and it's my responsibility to train them? That makes it seem as if there is a giant weight on my shoulders, one that just keeps getting heavier and heavier, and sometimes I wonder if I am losing my mind. And then you came back, out of nowhere, absolutely no warning. And to add fuel to the fire, I was out of town when you were back last time, and nobody thought to call me? Don't mind me, I'm just the girlfriend." She stopped when she saw Casey's lips part to respond. "Yeah, I know nobody knew," she snapped as if reading the younger woman's mind. When she saw the hurt look on Casey's face, her tone softened somewhat. "The point is, you came back and I had no idea how I would respond to that, or even how I SHOULD respond to it. Happy? Angry? I couldn't decide, not until the Raines case. Then I realized that if I didn't stop getting so pissed off, I was going to lose you, on top of having already lost Elliot." She bit her lip thoughtfully. "That's why I came here tonight. I couldn't bear the thought of losing my partner and the girl I love, too."

Throughout Olivia's entire speech, Casey remained quiet, allowing her to vent freely. While it was true that she had always thought of Olivia as the stronger one in the relationship, she also knew that even rocks had a soft spot. Realizing it was her turn to talk, Casey nodded, laying her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "I'm sorry for leaving," she murmured again.

"I know," Olivia replied, wrapping her arms around her, enveloping her in a loving embrace. "I have a question though."

Casey raised her head enough to look at her. "Ask away," she replied, wondering what could be gnawing at the older woman's mind.

"In the last four years, did you…see anyone?" Olivia asked.

Casey stood there mutely for a moment, completely caught off guard by the question. "No," she answered truthfully. "I got asked on a date a couple times, but each time, the first thought that popped into my mind was that I would be betraying you, so I declined." She hesitated for a few seconds on the edge of asking her question. Finally, she jumped off the cliff and asked it. "Did you see anyone?"

"No," Olivia replied. "I laid alone in bed every night for the past four years hoping that someway, somehow, you would change your mind and come back."

"I'm here forever now," Casey said, looking into her eyes. "Being without you was the hardest thing I have ever done, and I realize that now. I should have never left. I never will leave again."

Olivia reached up and brushed a stray red curl out of Casey's emerald eyes. "I hope not," she whispered before their lips met in another kiss.

_Author's note: Please review! I need to know what everyone thinks, so I know whether it is worth continuing or not. If nobody reviews, then I will know it's not good enough. Feedback is much appreciated. You're all amazing. _


	3. Chapter 3

The gentle kiss quickly turned into one full of lust and passion that had been pent up for far too long. Before Casey could object, Olivia had led her to the bedroom and pushed her, far from gently, onto the bed. The redhead fleetingly wondered how the detective knew where the bedroom was, but decided not to dwell on it at the moment. As Olivia crawled on top of her, Casey pulled her down, wrapping her arms around the brunette's neck as they resumed making out. "You don't waste any time," she murmured before letting her tongue freely roam inside Olivia's mouth.

"Never," Olivia whispered. She suddenly broke the kiss, winking as Casey pouted. Moving her lips downward, she bit into Casey's neck as hard as she could. When the attorney cried out in surprise, Olivia sucked the wound in way of apology. However, Casey knew there would be a mark there by morning. "Now when anyone looks at you, they will wonder who gave you that mark. It would be interesting seeing what they come up with."

Casey sighed softly. "Yeah, but it's not as if they will ever know the truth."

Olivia looked into her eyes. "I told you we can come out when the time is right, Casey. Do you really think that would be NOW? Can you imagine the conversation? Hello Captain, how are you today? I know we just lost one of SVU's best detectives, gained two rookies and are dealing with multiple high profile cases, all of which have the potential to discredit the unit and everyone in it, but I felt the need to inform you that I'm sleeping with one of our ADAs."

"I know," Casey mumbled, the color rising to her cheeks. Ever since the night they had entered the relationship, this had been a persistent discussion. Though she knew how detrimental it could be to their careers, Casey still had her moments when the jealousy of seeing other people flirt with Olivia overtook her, so she would try to convince Olivia to tell their friends. Olivia would then convince her to err on the side of caution, and calmly warn her of all the ways it could possibly backlash. Casey sighed, pulling out of her thoughts. "Olivia, I know what it could do to us and our jobs. But I-I'm just really proud to be yours, and I know we haven't been together for the last few years, but I still remained faithful to you, mentally, emotionally, and physically. I HATE sneaking around. I feel like a tramp sometimes, to tell you the truth." She paused when she noticed that Olivia was laughing. "What is so funny about that?" she demanded.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know. I guess that I understand, but if anyone should feel like the tramp, it should be me. Look at all those times I've emerged from your office after we spent our lunch break doing some very naughty things."

"Very true," Casey noted, biting her lip thoughtfully. "You know, sometimes I would catch the eye of a coworker later in the day, and I would be unable to help but wonder if they heard anything."

"You mean like a certain attorney's insanely loud screams of passion?"

Casey pinched her playfully. "A certain detective might want to ask herself where those screams are coming from before blaming a certain attorney for being so loud. Could it be from being tortured, perhaps?"

"Is the attorney complaining?" Olivia asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

Casey giggled. "Of course not, Detective." Once again, she paused, having no idea what had brought on this conversation. Then she remembered. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly. "I just don't know what to do anymore, Olivia. I really hate lying. Okay, sure, it's hiding the truth, but that's the same thing! I'm proud to be your girlfriend. But I guess you don't feel the same way." Casey focused her attention on the comforter.

"Now wait a minute. You know that's not true," Olivia responded, lifting Casey's chin so that the attorney's emerald eyes were forced to meet her chocolate ones. "Us hiding our relationship has nothing to do with how I feel about you. Well, it does to a point, because I feel like I need to protect you."

"From what?" Casey asked quietly, having no idea where this was going.

Olivia didn't answer for several moments. The ticking of the clock was just about to drive Casey bonkers when the older woman finally sighed. "If people find out that an ADA working with the Special Victims Unit is sleeping with a detective, it will have many consequences. For one thing, everyone who knows us knows that I am eleven years your senior, so they will gossip about that. In addition, they will claim that there is a conflict of interest. Then, worst of all, they will try to discredit you simply on the basis of you being a lesbian. Trust me, Casey, I've been there, done that. Don't you see? I am not doing this for me. I am doing it to protect the woman I love from any harm, whether it be emotional or physical."

Casey listened to Olivia silently. Finally, her lips curled in a small smile. "So you're not ashamed of me?" "Never have been, never will be," Olivia affirmed. "But if you want to tell everyone about our relationship, that is what we will do. Just say the word."

Casey thought about it for a few moments. Finally, she shook her head. "Let's wait," she replied. Wrapping her arms around the older woman's neck once more, she smirked. "I love you."

"I love you more than anything in the world." Olivia stood up from the bed and walked over to the light switch. Flipping it down, she smiled as the room became enveloped in pitch black darkness. Reaching the bed, she once more laid on top of Casey.

Feeling Olivia's lips against hers, Casey moaned softly, letting her head fall back against the pillows as her eyes fluttered closed. It may have been a secret relationship. But it was one she would never dream of losing.

_Author's note: Please, please, please read and review! _


	4. Chapter 4

Casey looked up as Olivia entered the bedroom carrying two cups of tea and handed her one. "Thanks, babe," she murmured, taking hers and blowing on it.

"Anything for you, sweetheart," Olivia replied, reclaiming her seat next to Casey on the bed. She watched as Casey propped some pillows up against the headboard and leaned back on them. "Glad to see you still prefer being propped up to being flat on your back," she remarked, taking a rather large sip of her own tea.

Casey looked at her, eyebrows arched. "Are you aware of how that sounded?" she asked, trying to fight the smile that was tugging on the corners of her lips.

"Who says I didn't mean it that way?" Olivia responded, shooting her a playful smirk.

"Fair enough," Casey replied, settling once more against the pillows. She moved closer to Olivia and laid her head on her shoulder. Feeling the brunette breathe in deeply, she smiled. "You did it on purpose," Casey suddenly stated.

Olivia looked at her. "Did what on purpose?" she asked.

"Tonight," Casey told her. Seeing that the older woman was still intent on playing the innocence card, the attorney realized she was going to have to come out with her point. So she took a deep breath, then said "You made tonight just like our very first night together. The flowers, the positions, the steaming tea afterwards. It made it seem…" Casey trailed off, unsure what word she could add to her thought to do the night justice.

"Magical? Special? Romantic?" Olivia asked, turning her head to look at her. "I'm glad," she murmured, kissing the top of Casey's head. "Because that's what I wanted it to be."

Casey sat up for a moment to place her tea on the night stand, then snuggled close to Olivia once more. This time, she buried her head in the brunette's chest. "Incredible is another word," she mumbled.

Olivia kissed the top of her head again. "Incredible," she agreed quietly.

Casey had just drifted into a light sleep when Olivia's cell phone shattered the peace. It rang for what seemed to Casey like several minutes, until she heard Olivia answer it. "Benson." For the next few minutes, Casey listened to Olivia's end of the conversation, though she knew it was a work call simply by the way her girlfriend answered the phone. Finally, Olivia said "I'm on my way."

"Who was it, babe?" Casey asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily as she pulled herself into a sitting position.

Olivia kissed her gently on the lips. "Detective Amaro," she answered before sighing. "A woman was found outside the library with no ID, no purse, and no underwear, and Detective Rollins is busy on another case."

"What about Munch and Fin?" Casey inquired.

"Also busy," Olivia informed her. She brushed a stray red curl out of Casey's eyes and smiled softly, leaning in to kiss her again. "I'll be back later, I promise. If I'm not back by the time you have to leave for court, just go. I'll stop by the office on my lunch break." She pulled Casey in for a final kiss. "I love you, baby girl," she murmured as she pulled away.

Casey nodded. "I love you too. I'll see you during your lunch then." She returned Olivia's smile, then watched as her girlfriend gathered some clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

Less than an hour later, Olivia hurried up the steps of the library, stopping outside the entrance, where her new partner already stood, along with Melinda and a few people Olivia assumed to be witnesses. She watched as Amaro concluded an interview with a woman holding her baby in a little pink blanket. She still had not been able to make up her mind as to whether she liked him or not. He would never be Elliot, but Olivia knew that maybe what she needed was a sort of anti-Elliot to keep her fresh and able to do her job the way she always had. Detective Nick Amaro was exactly that, but the fact that he was new and still had to be shown the ropes bothered Olivia at times, more than she knew it should.

"What have we got?" she asked as Amaro walked over to her. Just like her old partner, her new partner had on a suit of the day.

"The librarian identified her as Catherine Hopkins, a student who spent the bulk of her time here," Amaro replied.

Olivia glanced over at the elderly librarian, who was speaking to Melinda, emphatically waving her hands as she spoke. "How old was the victim?" Olivia asked, turning her attention back to her partner.

"Sixteen."

Olivia sighed. It was hardly uncommon for a teenage girl to be taken advantage of, as the detective knew all too well, having worked thirteen years in sex crimes. What bothered her most about this was that she was tired of young girls doing their best to get ahead in life being taken advantage of. "Who found her?"

Amaro gestured to the still ranting librarian. "She found her when she opened the library at six this morning."

"Time of death?" Olivia inquired.

"Warner puts it at midnight at the latest."

Olivia bit her lip in frustration. "Okay. Nick, go interview anyone else you didn't speak to," she ordered. "I am going to go speak to the librarian and see what else I can find out about our victim." As Nick nodded and walked away, Olivia resisted the urge to roll her eyes. He was definitely a rookie to Sex Crimes, a fact that she found more obvious the more she observed him. "Miss Sanchez, can I speak to you for a moment?" she asked, having reached the area where Melinda and the librarian stood. As the librarian turned to acknowledge her, Olivia forced herself to smile. "Miss Sanchez, do you know where Catherine lived so I can notify her parents?" she asked.

The elderly woman looked up into Olivia's eyes. "I can do you one better. I know who killed her."


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure this is the right address?" Nick asked for the hundredth time.

Olivia sighed loudly, not bothering to hide her irritation. She swore sometimes that it was like training an incompetent baboon. "If you ask me that one more time, you're walking back to the precinct," she informed him coldly. Shutting the engine off, she took the keys out of the ignition and opened the car door. Without checking to see if her new partner was behind her, the detective made her way up the steps of the brownstone in front of her. She raised her right hand and rapped on the door.

"Who is it?" a man's voice called from within the house.

Olivia placed her badge against the door so he could see it. "Police, Mr. Hopkins. Please open the door. We need to speak with you."

The sound of approaching footsteps came, followed by a whiff of strong cologne and a clicking of the lock mechanism on the front door. As it opened, the detectives were greeted by the sight of a disheveled man with a rat's nest of dark brown hair and a moustache that Olivia assumed hadn't been shaved for weeks. "What's this about?" he asked.

"Mr. Hopkins, you don't seem too concerned about anything. Like the fact that your daughter never came home last night," said Nick, who had just taken his place at Olivia's side. Olivia shot him a glare that could have withered the toughest plant. Nick ignored her, and went on talking. "Usually when the police show up on someone's doorstep this early in the morning, it has a less than satisfactory result, particularly when that person's child is missing."

"What are you talking about?" Hopkins demanded. "Where's my daughter?"

Olivia intervened before Nick even had a chance to open his mouth. "She was found murdered outside of the public library, Mr. Hopkins," she stated bluntly. "But you knew that already."

"Dead?" he repeated, appearing surprised. His act failed to impress Olivia, though. "How did she die?"

"You tell me," Olivia responded, meeting his glare with one of her own.

"How would I know?"

Olivia refused to break the stare. Sooner or later, he would fold; she was sure of it. "That's a lovely gash on your forearm, Mr. Hopkins," she observed, pointing to a still crimson wound that had to be a couple of centimeters wide and at least a centimeter deep. "Would you mind telling myself and my partner how you got it?"

Hopkins looked down at his arm. Olivia knew he had forgotten to hide it. "Oh. I uh…burned myself on a frying pan," he replied, choking on the lie.

"Really?" Olivia asked, resisting the urge to slap the prick across the face. When he didn't answer, she went on, taking the pictures of the crime scene out of the folder and handing them to him. "Our medical examiner found a clump of hair in your daughter's hand that matches your color perfectly. She also informed us that your daughter was stabbed so many times that it is a statistical improbability for the perp not to have cut himself. A right handed perp, I might add," she added, gesturing to the gash on Hopkins' right arm.

Hopkins' jaw set and his eyes narrowed. "What are you implying, Detective?" he growled.

"That you killed your daughter, Mr. Hopkins," Olivia responded evenly.

"That's absurd! I loved my daughter!"

Olivia had always loved these parts of the interrogations, when the perp broke down, attempted to proclaim his innocence, followed by a stream of waterworks. Olivia loved all of it. However, she knew it was time to stop, otherwise this would never hold up in court. "Mr. Hopkins, if you're innocent, then you should have no problems letting us into your apartment to prove it." She was holding back the fact that they had a witness for the simple reason that she wanted to get a confession and still have a bartering tool.

"The hell I will," Hopkins snapped.

"Then I suppose we will have to come back with a search warrant, won't we?" Olivia tried to ignore the fact that she knew this entire conversation was extremely improper. She was interrogating a man with little evidence, save a witness statement and facts that were circumstantial at best. And yet, in her gut, she knew the creep was guilty. "Late at night, with many officers tearing your home apart," Olivia continued.

"Do it. There's nothing to find." Hopkins folded his arms across his chest.

Olivia shook her head. "We'll see about that."

"You know what? You're trespassing. I want you off of my property, or I will call my lawyer!"

Knowing she had to get the warrant as soon as possible was the only reason behind Olivia's next words. "Fine. We will leave. But we will be back. And Mr. Hopkins? Try not to destroy any evidence while we're gone. Our techs are the best in the business." With that, Olivia turned around and made her way back to the car, taking three steps to Amaro's one.

"**Captain, he did it. **He's guilty, I know it!" she found herself protesting a half hour later. Cragen had called her into his office to reprimand her after Hopkins called with a claim that two detectives, Benson and Amaro, had trespassed in his home and accused him of killing his daughter.

"So that makes it okay to interrogate him on his doorstep without his attorney present, with no evidence except your gut?"

Olivia sighed, collapsing into one of the chairs in front of the captain's desk. "The librarian said she saw him fighting with Catherine the night she died. Over what, she didn't say, but she did say that Hopkins stormed off in a huff and she saw his car later that evening."

"It's circumstantial!" Cragen replied. "You woke a man up early in the morning and threatened him because you THINK he might have raped and murdered his own daughter. Guts don't close cases, Detective. Without more evidence, this is nothing more than a hunch."

"Then let me find evidence," Olivia replied, looking into his eyes from across the desk. "I feel it, Don. He's guilty. Trust me."

Cragen sighed. "You have forty eight hours. If you don't have more evidence by then, then you're going to move on to someone else as your prime suspect. Got it?"

Olivia nodded. She stood up and walked over to the door, but paused in front of it. "We need a search warrant. Otherwise the evidence is going to be gone if we wait."

"Hypothetical evidence," Cragen told her. He checked the clock on the wall, which read eight AM. "Go down to the District Attorney's office. Find Novak or Cabot, and have one of them secure a warrant."

"Thank you, Captain." Without anything further being said, Olivia opened Cragen's office door and walked out. She would follow the captain's instructions, except she was headed to the courthouse, not the District Attorney's office. She had no idea if Alex would be at the office this early. She wasn't even sure if Alex had court today, but she knew a certain redhead who did.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's note: Hey everyone. Just wanted to let you know that an upcoming chapter, most likely the one after this one, is going to be a REALLY hot date night for Casey and Olivia. I am going to try something new with this, in that I am going to open it to suggestions. If you guys could review this chapter (reviews are now open to anonymous people as of yesterday on this) with ideas of what you want Olivia to do, I'll incorporate them and credit you. I am really hoping this will be a success, because it's something new I'm trying and I want to see where it goes. So please let me know what you want her to do to Casey. It can be anything, I promise. I'll even incorporate a whip, if someone out there wants that. Let me know! You're all amazing. _

Casey carefully slid her papers into her briefcase. The hearing had ended, and everyone except her and a few remaining people in the gallery had left. As Casey snapped the case shut, she let out a little yawn. She immediately swore inwardly that she was not going to let Olivia know she was even remotely sleepy, because she knew the older woman would say something to the effect of "I told you to go to bed, but you insisted on spending all night together". Casey smiled softly to herself. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad hearing that, after all.

As she buttoned her coat and grabbed her purse and briefcase, the redhead took a moment to mentally reflect on everything that had just occurred during the hearing. It had been to determine whether a man convicted of statutory rape ten years before and had just gotten out of prison was fit to take custody of his nine month old daughter now that her mother was in the hospital. Casey had fought as hard as she could to get the baby placed with her grandmother instead, but despite every ounce of evidence she had managed to find, the judge had ruled that the rights of the biological father trump everything.

Casey shook her head. Family court was definitely not her cup of tea, but on those occasions that it coincided with her job as a sex crimes prosecutor, she did everything she could to fight for a solution that made everyone happy. It was on that thought that she exited the courtroom, walking at her normal fast pace.

"Don't I even get a hello?" came a voice behind her.

Casey turned around, nearly dropping her purse in the process. Her anger quickly evaporated when she saw who had called out to her. "How about this? Hello, Detective," she responded, catching herself right before the word babe left her mouth.

Olivia smiled. "How did it go?"

"Oh, just peachy," Casey replied, her voice dripping with bitter sarcasm. "The judge ruled that the father could take his daughter home. She ruled my evidence against him as a sex offender 'irrelevant to the case at hand'." The redhead put air quotes around the last few words. She paused, realizing they were still in the middle of a very public and very crowded courthouse, and that this was highly inappropriate talking about this here.

Olivia seemed to read her mind. "Let's talk outside," the detective offered.

Casey nodded, and the two women made their way out of the courthouse and down the front steps to Olivia's car. Casey looked around for a moment. A huge crowd of people swarmed around them, but nobody seemed to be trying to listen, and even if they were, the noise levels made that nearly impossible. She turned to Olivia. "Anyway, the judge said that because the father was charged with statutory rape only, it made it irrelevant to the case at hand, since he is unlikely to touch his baby."

"Don't these people have brains?" Olivia asked, leaning against the car door on the passenger's side. "Statutory or not, he's a predator! How could anyone with common sense let that creep taking his little girl home ALONE?"

Casey shrugged. "I guess you're never truly jaded against the world until you have worked sex crimes. It gives you a whole new view on the way things work with people, and the world as a whole." She looked away for a moment, then back at Olivia. "I just wish that all predators were looked at in the same way," she said quietly. "None of this 'it was only statutory' crap."

"Statutory rape," Olivia replied, nodding in agreement. "It's as if these people forget that second part of the word. How can someone not be considered a predator when they find solace in stealing innocence from people who aren't nearly mature enough to make decisions like that on their own?" she asked. "A pedophile is someone who goes after children. Whether the child thinks they consented or not, they are still a child, and stat rape is still pedophilic." She sighed, leaning her head back and resting it against the car window. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know," Casey replied. "Make his life a living hell by calling Social Services? Beyond that, there's not a whole lot I can do."

Olivia shook her head. "This world we live in is so depraved that sometimes I wonder if there is even any good left."

"I know," Casey replied. Her emerald eyes met Olivia's chocolate brown ones. Just then, another thought hit her. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Before I forget, Cragen called." She opened her briefcase and retrieved the warrant she had managed to secure. Handing it to Olivia, she smiled softly. "Your warrant to search Hopkins' place."

Olivia took it and offered a smile of her own. "I'm surprised you managed to convince a judge to give you a warrant. Cragen had a point when he said that our evidence is circumstantial."

"Yeah, well." Casey bit her lip thoughtfully. "I've been an attorney long enough to know whose heartstrings to pull. It may not be my favorite way to get what I need, but nine times out of ten, it's the only way."

"I know." Olivia stuffed the warrant into the pocket of her coat. "Is this just for his home?"

Casey nodded. "I didn't want to push my luck with Judge Bradley. He seemed skeptical enough. Even I was surprised when he signed it and handed it back." She watched as a couple strode by, hand in hand, looking as if they only had eyes for each other. The ADA sighed softly, letting her mind wander to a wish that she and Olivia could act that way in public. But, much to the young attorney's chagrin, they couldn't, at least not for now.

"Someday," Olivia murmured, reading her thoughts once more.

Casey nodded. "Yeah. Someday," she replied quietly. She checked the time. "It's almost lunch time. You better get going before Hopkins decides to do a little house cleaning. If you don't make it to the office before your lunch break ends, I'll see you tonight at least. Right?" She met Olivia's gaze once more.

"Oh of course. I have big things planned for tonight."

Casey looked at her in confusion. "Things such as?" She knew better than to question what the older woman had in store for them, but she still couldn't resist asking from time to time.

"You'll see," Olivia replied with a wink. She walked over to the driver's side of the car and opened it. With one last look at the redhead, she smiled. "You won't be disappointed."


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's note: Hey guys. A lot of you have given me your ideas, both through email and review. I'm really surprised by how many people responded. This chapter is their date night, but they already had the actual date. I guess this is post date. Anyway, I did my best to incorporate what I could and still make it interesting. If you don't see your idea in here, it means it is in my list on a file on my computer. They will get used. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated! They are a writer's bread and butter. PS. If you want your username publicly credited, let me know and I'll do that for you. Thanks again. Enjoy._

Casey looked around Olivia's apartment as they entered later that evening. They had gone to dinner at one of Casey's favorite restaurants, then Olivia suggested coming to her apartment instead of Casey's. The redhead had asked several times on the way back why it mattered whose place they spent the night at, but all Olivia would say was the same thing as at the courthouse. "I have a special night planned for us," the older woman had responded. Casey wasn't one for guessing games, and not knowing what Olivia had in mind was driving her nuts. "Olivia?" she asked again as Olivia closed and locked the front door. "Please tell me?"

But Olivia simply shook her head. "If I told you, it would ruin the surprise, and where's the fun in that?" she replied. "You'll find out soon, when I'm ready for you to find out."

Casey sighed, biting her lip in frustration. "A hint?" she asked hopefully.

"Nope." Olivia smiled and walked into the kitchen, from which she had a lovely view of the young attorney. "You'll find out shortly, I promise," she said as she opened the cabinet above the stove, retrieving two wine glasses. "I have been planning this night ever since you came back. Every day I've added more onto what I am going to do, and if I do say so myself, it's going to be an incredible night for you."

Casey groaned, laying her head on the armrest of the sofa. "You're making the suspense worse," she complained. "What if you tell me and then I still act surprised when you do it?" the redhead asked, perking up hopefully.

"No amount of begging is going to get me to cave, baby. You're just going to have to wait and see."

"But I've been waiting all day!"

Olivia uncorked a bottle of red wine and poured some into each glass. She entered the living room, carrying the drinks carefully. As she handed one to Casey, she smiled and sat down next to her. She reached over and gently lifted Casey's chin so that the younger woman was forced to look into her eyes. "I'll tell you what. Just because you're so damn adorable when you're begging, I'll give you a hint. I want to try some new things tonight." Seeing Casey's emerald eyes widen with worry, Olivia gently kissed her cheek. "Nothing bad. Is that what you're worried about?"

"I don't know," Casey admitted, lowering her gaze to the carpet. "New things could mean anything. I mean I know you would never hurt me, but I'm still worried that…." She trailed off, unsure how to finish her thought.

"That I'll hurt you?" Olivia asked, as if reading her mind. Casey nodded without saying anything. "Casey, look at me." When Casey didn't, she sighed softly. "You know I would never hurt you. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did."

"I know," Casey mumbled. "It's just that new things, by definition, implies things that you want to do and have experience with but that are new to me, and you know I have no experience. You're the only woman I've ever been with. What if I mess up?"

Olivia brushed a stray lock of red hair out of Casey's eyes and kissed her gently on the lips. "You're you. There's no way you could ever mess up," she replied comfortingly.

"Okay," Casey murmured. She turned to face Olivia and smiled. "You always know all the right things to say," she said, leaning over and biting gently into Olivia's neck.

Olivia let out a low growl in response. Without saying anything, she gently pushed Casey onto her back, pinning her to the sofa. "Didn't anyone ever tell you that assaulting an officer is against the law?" she demanded, maintaining a firm grip on Casey's wrists. "You can be severely punished for that particular crime, Counselor," the detective added, looking down into Casey's eyes. "But since you're pretty, I suppose you can earn probation." Without hesitation, she began undoing the buttons of Casey's suit jacket. Within seconds, she had managed to get that, as well as the attorney's blouse and bra, off and thrown onto the floor.

Casey had always loved how easily they slipped into their roles in the bedroom. Sometimes it seemed as if they were talking one minute and finding other uses for their mouths the next. Tonight was no exception. Feeling Olivia's fingertips brushing against her abdomen, Casey, who was extremely ticklish, jumped. "Probation?" she repeated. "How do I earn probation?"

"By being a good girl, how else?" Olivia asked before kissing her way down Casey's neck to her chest. Taking the redhead's left breast into her mouth, she sucked on her nipple until it hardened, making Casey whimper in pleasure. Without warning, Olivia bit down, and when Casey let out a little cry of surprise, Olivia smirked, releasing the younger woman's breast. "Did you say something?" she asked with a smirk. Casey's answer consisted of a mere shaking of her head. "That's what I thought," Olivia said, raking her nails as hard as she could down Casey's body.

Casey briefly wondered why the older woman didn't seem to be in the mood for any form of foreplay tonight, choosing instead to get to the point. However, her thoughts were quickly lost when Olivia's tongue reached her already throbbing clit. "What about my rights?" she managed to quip.

"Don't push it, sweetheart," Olivia murmured before her tongue resumed its torture of the attorney's body. She alternated between biting, sucking, and licking the younger woman's anatomy. It was only a matter of seconds before Casey began to whisper her name pleadingly, against her better judgment. And then, just as soon as she had started, the brunette stopped. Seeing Casey's pout, she smiled. "You've been a bad girl. I don't think you've learned your lesson, so why should I let you reach the edge? Besides," she added, standing up from the couch, "I told you I had several things planned." She reached for Casey's hand and pulled her up into a standing position. Reaching for her handcuffs, she pinned Casey's arms behind her back. "You want your rights? Fine. Casey Novak, you are under arrest for assaulting a police officer. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right, anything you say can and will be used against you in our bedroom. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, there are other ways you can plead your case." Without another word, she led Casey into the bedroom. Closing the door behind them, the detective pushed the younger woman face down onto the bed. As she undid the cuffs, Casey began to hope for her freedom, but that was quickly lost when she realized that was not at all Olivia's intention. The brunette uncuffed her, only to cuff her wrists to the bars of the headboard. "Wait here," she ordered.

Casey sighed, closing her eyes. The room was so silent that she could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall as if it were magnified a thousand times. It felt like forever had passed when the bed finally shifted, signaling Olivia's return. "Open your eyes," came the firm order. Casey, after a moment of hesitation, opened her eyes. It took her a moment to find Olivia, who was sitting next to her. The brunette had finally taken her clothes off. Casey's eyes roamed downward, but quickly stopped and widened, showing her shock. Around Olivia's hips was a black harness, which Casey could see was leather. They had never used any toys, but Casey was certainly no dummy. Despite the fact that she knew what it was, it still took a moment to register. "What?" she tried to ask, but the word died on her lips. Her throat suddenly felt very dry. "The hell?" the attorney finally managed to choke out. It didn't help that she was still face down on the bed, unable to sit up. All she could do was turn her head to either side.

"I told you a long time ago that there were things I wanted to do to you. But you left not long after that, and I never got the chance," Olivia replied. "I'm not going to make that mistake again. You're back, and I have every intention of loving you in every possible way. I just need you to trust me. Do you trust me, Case?"

Casey didn't answer for several moments. She was still recovering from the shock. Of course she knew people did stuff like this all the time, but the fact that Olivia wanted to do it to her was almost too much to process. "I trust you," she murmured. She knew it was true. "I just…don't know what to do."

"Use your instincts, honey," Olivia replied. "Do what feels natural to you. What do you want to do right now?"

Casey shrugged. "Idon'tknow," she mumbled, her words coming out as a jumble. "I guess I….want to lick it?" she asked, wincing at how stupid that sounded. She suddenly felt very self conscious.

But instead of saying her desires were strange, Olivia smiled and rose onto her knees. Casey was still cuffed, but the position the detective was in allowed her to reach without hurting herself. "Then do it," she said. Still feeling really shy, Casey looked at her for a moment, needing further reassurance. Olivia nodded. "Go on," she urged. Casey did as she was told, tentatively taking the toy slowly into her mouth. She flicked her tongue against it, wondering if she was doing it right. Olivia watched her, still smiling. If Casey would have known what the older woman was thinking at that moment, she might just have passed out; Olivia's thoughts were centered on some very kinky desires, influenced very much by the redhead's talent at familiarizing herself with the huge toy. After several more moments, Olivia gently pushed Casey's head away. "Good girl," she murmured. "Now lay down on your stomach like you were before and close your eyes. Do not open them until I say so. Just trust me," she said, repeating the words she had said pretty much ever since they got back from their date.

Olivia made sure the bedroom lights were off, all except the lamp on the nightstand. After checking Casey's eyes to make sure they were closed, she made her way to the foot of the bed. Placing her hands on Casey's hips, she penetrated her from behind, slowly sliding the entire toy into her.

Feeling Olivia enter Casey gasped softly, biting her lip until she drew blood. She let out a little whimper as the older woman began a steady pace of thrusting in and out of her. Casey knew that there was nobody she would rather have this experience with, especially since it was her first time with any toy at all. Olivia had started out very gentle, but as time passed, her thrusts became harder and deeper. Casey buried her head the best she could, gasping and writhing underneath her. Somehow she managed to curl her fingers around the bars of the headboard. As Olivia gave a particularly hard thrust into her, Casey cried out.

"Are you going to be a good girl?" came the detective's demand from behind her.

"Don't stop," Casey pleaded, shutting her eyes tightly.

Olivia reached for Casey's hair and yanked on it. Maintaining a firm grip, she continued to move in and out of her with the huge toy. "I asked you a question, Counselor, and I expect an answer. Are. You. Going. To. Be. Good?" Each word was punctuated with a hard, almost painful thrust of the toy.

"Yes!" Casey whimpered, assaulting her own lip with yet another bite. "Please," she moaned.

"Good," Olivia whispered. Yanking on Casey's hair once more, she resumed her thrusts, which had become so hard that with each thrust, Casey fell forward somewhat. "Cum for me," she ordered.

That was all it took. One last thrust of the huge toy sent Casey over the edge, screaming Olivia's name in pleasure. She came multiple times, struggling against the handcuffs that bound her to the bed. As Olivia slowly pulled out of her, Casey collapsed, laying still on the bed. Several moments passed, then Olivia came over and undid the cuffs. Massaging Casey's wrists, she smiled and kissed her passionately. "See? You're a natural."

_. _


	8. Chapter 8

"Is there any particular reason why you decided that peanut butter cookies are going to taste yummy after eating chocolate covered strawberries?" Casey asked, gesturing to the tray of food Olivia had just carried into the bedroom.

"Well, who would have ever thought chocolate would taste good in coffee? And yet, they make chocolate coffee creamer, which is quite delicious, surprisingly."

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. "You know, if we were to sit here and list funky but delicious food combinations, we would probably be here all night. Like cheese and potatoes for example. I'm not much of a cheese person, you know that. But scalloped potatoes are amazing!" She smiled as she watched Olivia reclaim her spot on the bed. "Speaking of scalloped potatoes," she said, abruptly changing the subject without meaning to, "I didn't eat a single one when I was in California."

"How did you manage that one?" Olivia asked. "You've never been able to go a week without craving them, and you were gone for three years. That's a long time."

Casey shrugged. "I always liked your homemade ones the best, so I tried to avoid them to avoid thinking of you. Because whenever I allowed my mind to wander to thoughts of you, it always crashed into thoughts like 'Gee, I wonder who she's sleeping with right now' or 'Well, I hear Cabot is back. Olivia must be thrilled to death!'" Casey sighed quietly. "Of course those thoughts were the kind that refuse to leave your head once they are there, and the most emotional ones. So I did my best to avoid them, even though it never worked."

"You never told me what happened with your hearing with the Bar," Olivia said, reaching for a strawberry. "You had the hearing, came home, and said nothing. Then the results came while I was at work, I came home, and you were gone. In your place was that note on my pillow, which is still branded into my memory, I'll have you know."

Casey looked away. "I'm sorry," she murmured. "I had to leave. The Bar decided that I would be censured for three years. Sure, it wasn't full disbarment, but it did prevent me from working. I couldn't stay in New York, Olivia. What was I supposed to do? Take a job as a bartender or some equally non-me thing? I'm a lawyer at heart, and no other career would make me as happy. The censure came, and I knew I had to get away. And so I went to Washington, but realized I hated it. Then I want to Oregon, again, hated it. Finally, I tried California, and the only reason I stayed there was because I actually managed to find a job I was actually semi interested in." She didn't elaborate on what that job was. She merely chose to continue, because she wasn't sure if she was ready for Olivia to know what she had been. "I know it's a random state, but there was no way in hell I was going to Texas or something like it. I need big cities, and where do people go when they need big cities? California or New York, nine times out of ten. Obviously the second one was not an option. Anyway, I know you don't understand why I left you behind, but it was out of shame more than anything. I lied to a judge, and I deserved the punishment I received, I knew that. But how could I stay in New York and see you every day, knowing I had completely fucked the case for the unit? I couldn't. I couldn't face you. But…if I could change the night I left, I would have stayed. If that counts for something."

"You didn't have to leave. You should have known that I would have helped you through it. I still loved you. And we all understood why you told Petrovsky the lab results were not ready yet. You did it so that a rapist would be put away. How could we hate you for that?"

Casey sighed. "Because I screwed the credibility of the entire unit, that's how," she replied, sounding more irritated than she meant to. "Think about it, Olivia. You say you understood, but can you really speak for everyone else? How many times, over the last three years, has somebody in that godforsaken unit at the very least alluded to the fact that Casey Novak lost her license after lying to a judge, thereby messing up the entire criminal justice system? How many?"

"A few," Olivia conceded. "Casey, where are you going with this?"

"I have no clue, alright?" Casey threw the covers off of her and sat up, reaching for her robe. "From what I hear, even my successor blamed me for the new ways warrants had to be retrieved. I get it, okay? I messed up! It's been three years but obviously nobody gives a damn about that, all they care about is that I got in trouble. I was trying to do the right thing! And for the record, I was NOT disbarred, I was censured! There's a difference!"

Olivia grabbed Casey's hand just as the redhead tried to stand up from the bed. "You're the only one here who is mad at you, honey. I was pissed as hell when I read that letter, but my heart was in pieces, what did you expect? But you know that? You're back now and that's all that matters to me."

Casey took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She felt bad for getting so worked up, but she had had enough of being made out to be something she wasn't. She would always feel guilty about what she did, but she also knew that one lie did not make someone a liar, anymore than one drink made someone a drunk. "I came back," she replied, "for you. I told you already, I was already packed when the phone call from my boss came. It just cemented my decision. Of course, when I got here, I chickened out three bazillion times every time I drove past the precinct. For all I knew, you had someone new, in work and in bed." Casey moved closer to Olivia and curled up next to her, laying her head on the older woman's chest. "I love you. And I'm sorry for leaving."

"I know you are," Olivia replied, looking down at her. "Just please promise me that you'll never do it again. I let you go last time because I thought you just needed space and that you would come home. But if you try leaving again, I will follow you and drag you home."

Knowing that Olivia was being both playful and deadly serious, Casey smiled. "Well, you don't have to worry about that, babe. Because I'm here to stay. My home is wherever you are."

"I wonder why everyone thinks you were disbarred," Olivia said suddenly.

Casey shrugged. "Because they can't get their facts straight, I guess. Or maybe they think censure and disbarment are the same, when in fact they are very different in terms of what they do to your career."

"What is the difference?"

"Being disbarred means you can't work in that jurisdiction. It's a permanent loss of license. If you want to be a lawyer, you have to retake the bar exam somewhere else and hope like hell that someone will hire you. In addition, if you are disbarred, it goes into your file and everyone can see what you did to be disbarred. Being censured, on the other hand, is a suspension of license, rather than being permanent. There is a private and public censure. Public censure, like disbarment, means that anyone who wants to can read up on you and see what you did to get yourself into trouble. Private censure means only those that need to know are aware of what happened. Censure is not exactly the same thing as suspension. It usually lasts longer than suspension. Mine was three years, which is the penalty for a Brady violation. I had a private censure, so I have no idea how the people who have found out did so."

Olivia didn't answer for a moment. Finally, she replied "Three years is a very long time."

"Feels like an eternity," Casey murmured. "Especially without the one you love. Then it becomes torture."


	9. Chapter 9

Casey restacked the files on her desk for the fifth time that minute and sighed softly. _She has a right to know_, she thought silently. _How bad can it be? It's not as if she will leave._ But even as she thought that, another thought overpowered it, one that terrified her. _Or maybe she will. After all, who wants to think of their girlfriend like that? _

"God damn it!" Casey exclaimed out loud, dropping the file she had been holding. She watched helplessly as the papers within scattered all over the floor. Sighing, she knelt down and began to sort through them, checking the page numbers as she went to make sure they were in order.

How could she tell Olivia? She had been fully truthful in saying she had been nothing but faithful in the last few years, but in the back of her mind lingered a nagging worry that Olivia would never speak to her again if she knew what Casey had taken as a job in a fit of depression. That would be a wonderful conversation. She imagined briefly how it would go. _Hey, beautiful. How are you today? I know you're very curious what I did in California. So I'll tell you. I was a-"_

A loud noise jolted Casey out of her thoughts. She looked outside the office window, noting that it was still as pitch black as when she had gotten back from her dinner date with Olivia. She exhaled slowly, turning back to her files in an attempt to shake it off. She tried to convince herself that it was just nerves, making her hypersensitive to the slightest things.

But then it happened again. This time, Casey laid the open file on her desk and cautiously raised the blinds on the door a couple of centimeters. When she saw nothing, she raised them until they were fully up. But still she saw nothing. "Get a grip of yourself," she murmured, wondering what was going on with her lately. However, just as she got comfortable again, the noise sounded again, and this time, Casey focused on it intently, trying to figure out what it was. It sounded like someone was dropping things from a floor above. And that satisfied her. Until her logic got the better of her until she realized on crucial fact: her office was on the top floor.

Just as she was about to turn her attention back to her work, her eyes caught a flash of light. Looking up, she watched the door handle turn slowly. "Is someone there?" she tried to ask, the terrified question dying on her lips. She reached for her briefcase, the only thing she could think of at the moment to use as a weapon. Finally, the door swung open. As the light turned on, Casey breathed a sigh of relief. "Jesus Christ, Olivia, you scared me," the attorney snapped, tossing her briefcase none too gently onto the floor.

"Sorry," Olivia replied, closing the door behind her. "The key was being stubborn."

"You could have knocked!" Casey pointed out. "Instead of making me think someone was breaking in."

Olivia walked over to her and pulled her closer, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry," she whispered. She placed a soft kiss on Casey's neck. "Your pulse is twice as fast as it usually is," she observed, pulling back so she could look into Casey's emerald eyes. "What is going on?"

"I don't know," Casey admitted, leaning against her desk. "This has been going on for a few days now. I sometimes start to feel as if someone is behind me, following me, but when I turn around, nobody is there. And then tonight, I heard sounds as if someone was trying to break in, but that was just you I guess."

Olivia looked at her, worry flashing across her face. "What sounds?" she asked. "I wasn't making any sounds, except for when I tried to get the key in the lock."

"You didn't hear them?" When Olivia didn't answer, Casey sighed, walking over to the window. She looked outside at the beautifully lit Manhattan below. "I know I heard something," she murmured, more to herself than Olivia. "It was loud, deafening really. It sounded as if heavy things were crashing into the roof. I know it makes no sense, but I heard something, Olivia. I know I did."

Olivia walked over and wrapped Casey into her arms, holding her tightly. Casey buried her head on Olivia's chest, exhaling slowly in attempt to calm herself down. "It's okay, Casey," she murmured, running her fingers through the redhead's natural curls. "Even if someone is there, you know I'll protect you."

"I know," came Casey's muffled response.

Olivia smiled softly. "Well, I had a feeling you would be here," she said, suddenly changing the conversation. "I called the house phone to tell you I was leaving work and would be home soon, and no-one answered. My first thought was that you were asleep, but I had a sneaking suspicion you would be at the office, so this was my first stop."

"I wanted to get some research done," Casey murmured.

Olivia didn't bother to point out the fact that the ADA could have done said research at home as long as she had her laptop. Instead, she kissed Casey's forehead and lifted her head so that they could look into each other's eyes. "You and your research," the detective chuckled. "What do you say we go home and do some more research? I could use some help on my anatomy."

Casey responded with a giggle of her own, immediately catching onto the older woman's double meaning. "Sure. That sounds great," she replied. But as Olivia started to walk away, Casey stood rooted to the spot. It was now or never, she decided. "But I want to tell you something first," she said.

"What would that be?" Olivia asked.

Casey took a deep breath before answering. "We talked about how both of us were faithful during the last three years. And I meant it. I never got into bed with anyone. But when I first got to California, well, more a couple days after, I suppose, I found myself unable to think of what job I could possibly apply for. I just kept driving and driving until the car ran out of gas. As I parked at a local station, I saw a club nearby, one run by women. I brushed it off, got gas, and found a hotel. Well, later that night, after crying for hours on end, I decided to check it out, thinking at least a drink would take my mind off of you, you know? And I went. It turned out they were hiring. They needed dancers, and me in my depressed, vulnerable, apparently idiotic state said yes." Casey sighed, feeling the tears well in her emerald eyes. "I got a letter a few days later saying I was hired, and I went in that night. Olivia, they didn't want a normal dancer. It turns out that I-I applied to be a-" The redhead swallowed hard, her gaze falling to the floor. "A pole dancer!" she cried before dissolving into tears completely.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's note: Hey guys. Sorry if the last chapter shocked you. Here's a quick backstory: I was trying to think of a job that Casey could have had that would have been unlike her (she was depressed), one she would be extremely ashamed of, but also something that could do both those things WITHOUT her having to cheat on Olivia. What's more unlike a lawyer than a pole dancer? Anyway, please, please review. It's very appreciated. _

Olivia knelt down next to Casey and pulled the sobbing attorney into her arms. She held her tightly, soothingly running her fingers through Casey's hair. "What had you so afraid of telling me that, Case?" the brunette asked.

"I thought you would leave me," Casey murmured, her reply partially muffled by the fact that her head was buried in the older woman's chest.

"Why would I leave you for that?" Olivia questioned. "I'm just mad I didn't get to see my girl on a pole," she added with a playful smirk.

Casey raised her head, her emerald eyes meeting Olivia's chocolate brown ones. She managed to slowly stop the flow of shameful tears. "I'm sure you would like that," the redhead murmured, her lips curling into a reluctant smile.

"Oh of course. How could I not? You, a pole, no clothes, and me coming up behind you and-"

"Olivia!" Casey exclaimed, the color rising to her cheeks, making them as red as her hair. She watched as her girlfriend stood up and lowered her hand. Taking it, Casey pulled herself up and adjusted her skirt, which had gone crooked. "What is it with you and sex from behind? That and handcuffs," she muttered as she walked over to her desk and opened the file she had accidentally knocked over earlier.

Olivia walked up behind her, wrapping her arms protectively around the younger woman's perfect body. "Because it gives me opportunities," she murmured, simultaneously sinking her teeth into Casey's neck and squeezing her breasts. She grinned at the quiet moan that escaped the redhead. "I rest my case," she whispered. She paused for a moment as one of the open case files caught her eye. Before Casey could grab it, the detective beat her to it. Glancing down at it, she scanned the information. To Casey, who knew exactly what was in the file, the thirty seconds that it took for the older woman to speak felt like an eternity thanks to her bundle of nerves. Olivia looked at her. "This isn't for a case."

It wasn't a statement. It was a fact, and Casey found her throat suddenly very dry. After a battle with her conscience, she shook her head, looking at the floor. "No. It's not," she replied quietly. Any other time, Olivia's detective skills were a major turn on, but now that they were being used against her, Casey felt a lot like a perp.

"Are you going to explain it to me or am I just going to sit here and wait twenty years for an explanation?" Olivia asked, though it sounded more like a demand.

"Why?" Casey replied. "You're not blind. You read it, so you can see what it is for!"

Olivia sighed. "Don't give me that. Please, Casey. No mind games. Tell me why you have this on your desk in plain view without bothering to tell me about it."

"It's information for a local sperm bank, okay?" Casey nearly shouted. She bit her lip, looking once more at the ground. "I printed it after lunch the other day." She sighed and perched on the edge of her desk. "I thought about it long before I left, but three years gives you time to think. It's like a time out, in that way. Anyway, I told myself if we got back together, then I would find the courage to ask for the one thing I have always wanted more than anything. So here goes." Casey took a deep breath, and forced herself to look into Olivia's eyes, despite her fear. "Can we have a baby?"

For the second time that night, Olivia didn't answer right away. Casey briefly wondered if her girlfriend could hear her heartbeat, which ran at triple its normal speed. Olivia's answer surprised Casey. She walked over to her and once more pulled the younger woman into her arms. "Sure, sweetheart. We can have a baby," she replied.

"Really?" Casey resisted the urge to jump the brunette. Instead, she settled for hugging her as tightly as she could. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank-" She was silenced when Olivia stuck her tongue down her throat. Casey let out a little whimper of surprise.

Olivia chuckled, breaking away after several moments. "That reminds me," she replied. "I had to make a quick stop on the way back to work when I left here after lunch today. I wasn't sure when to do this, but if now is not the time, then I have no idea when will be." The detective quickly lowered herself to her knees and took Casey's left hand, then reached in her pocket and retrieved the ring she had bought earlier that day, all without breaking the gaze she and the emerald eyed attorney shared. "Casey, honey, will you marry me?" she asked.

Casey gasped. For a moment, she was too stunned to speak. How many times had she laid awake at night imagining what it would be like if she and Olivia got married? Wondering if she was dreaming again but desperately hoping it was real, Casey nodded mutely. Realizing she needed to verbally answer, the redhead swallowed hard, then answered. "Yes, Olivia, I would love to marry you," she murmured. And as the older woman slid the ring onto her finger, Casey realized that she had never been happier in her entire life.


	11. Chapter 11

"Someone's looking awfully chipper this morning."

Olivia glanced up from her salad to look at Munch, who was standing next to her desk. She resisted the urge to wipe the annoying all knowing smirk from his face. "I'm no different than normal, John," she replied.

"Oh no, not at all, you're just a thousand times happier," came his reply.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "No different than normal," she repeated. If she were to admit to being happier than usual, then the guys would ask why, and Olivia had little desire to tell them she was sleeping with AND engaged to Casey. It was more protection for Casey than anything. Olivia knew the men would never leave the attorney alone about it. Olivia imagined what John would say. _"You bagged Benson, huh? Nice going, Casey. Nice going." _For the second time that minute, Olivia found her eyes traveling to the ceiling. Yeah, that settled it. No way in hell was she going to let this get out.

"Maybe she finally got some," Amaro quipped from his desk.

Olivia choked on her salad. When she managed to stop coughing, she glared at him through watering eyes. "Maybe certain male detectives should mind their own business," she snapped, snapping her lunch shut. Well, breakfast. It was only ten AM after all. Ignoring the chorus of "ooohs", that followed her, Olivia grabbed her coat and purse and stalked out of the squadroom. "Men," the detective muttered to herself. And if they were that immature about their theory that she was suddenly happy because she had gotten laid, she didn't even want to think about how they would react if they found out who she had gotten laid by. Pausing just outside the elevator, Olivia took her phone out of her pocket and opened a new text message. "Hey, honey," she typed. "How is my beautiful fiancée this morning?" Addressing the message to Casey, Olivia hit send and smiled softly to herself, immediately lapsing back into her own thoughts.

If she were to be completely honest with herself, Olivia knew that it was sort of a turn on having a secret relationship with the ADA. Keeping her male coworkers guessing all the time was a bonus, but what Olivia most loved was the knowledge that Casey Novak was officially hers, nobody else's.

"Olivia!" Olivia pulled out of her thoughts. Turing around, she found herself face to face with her partner. "What do you want, Amaro?" she asked, her voice still retaining a trace of coldness. "If this is any more jokes about me getting laid, you can just turn around and take them back into that squadroom, got it?"

"No more jokes," Amaro replied, holding his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said in there. It was uncalled for." He paused for a moment, as if he was hesitant about his next thought. "But Munch was right," he added. "You have been in a really great mood these last few days, and today is the best mood I have ever seen you in."

Olivia folded her arms across her chest, shifting her weight to the other side of her body. "Things change, Detective. Everybody goes through things that make them ecstatic and also things that reduce them to tears. Just because someone is happier than normal, contrary to what you apes think, does not mean they 'got some'. And even if I did, that is none of your business. You'll do well to remember that. Understand?" As Amaro nodded mutely, Olivia smiled. "Good." With that, she turned around and made her way back into the squadroom. Just as she reached her desk, she was alerted by a voice behind her.

"Detective Benson?"

Olivia looked behind her, her gaze falling upon a disheveled blonde with cloudy brown eyes. "How can I help you?"

"I'm Janine, Catherine's sister," the blonde answered. "I wasn't sure who to talk to, but I can't hold back any longer, especially now that my baby sister is dead."

Olivia nodded. "Come with me," she replied, leading Janine through the squadroom and into an empty interview room. Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it as Janine took a seat in an empty chair. "Can I get you anything?" she asked.

"No, thank you," Janine murmured, her gaze focused on the floor.

Olivia sighed, locking the door. Walking over to the table, she sat down across from the girl, who she guessed to be no older than twenty one. "Janine, can you tell me why you came here?" she asked. "You said you can't hold back any longer, now that your sister is dead. What did you mean by that?"

Janine sniffled, wiping a fresh stream of tears. As Olivia handed her a box of tissues, she took a deep breath, in an obvious attempt to try to calm herself. "I left home the day I turned eighteen," she answered after a few moments, when she was composed enough to speak. "My mom died when I was nine. Catherine was only four at the time. Dad handled things well, until he was laid off from his job. Suddenly, he started drinking all the time, and spending what little money we had on booze and cigarettes. And when it came time to pay the bills, and he had no money, he blamed my sister and me. One night, after we had gone to bed, he came into the room we shared and-" Janine's voice broke.

"Take your time," Olivia said gently.

Janine nodded. After a few seconds, she continued. "That night was the first time he molested us. I remember Catherine crying and saying 'Stop Daddy, it hurts!' But he wouldn't. From that point on, he came in every single night, sometimes several times a night. He would crawl into our beds, do what we wanted, and leave. And he always said if we ever tried anything, nobody would believe us. They would just chalk it up to the wild imaginations of two little girls. And then, when I was thirteen, he took it further, and started to beat us with this cane he kept in his bedroom. It had a golden head. I guess that was to make it hurt more when he hit us with it. Finally, my eighteenth birthday came, and I just left, and never looked back. I was a really selfish teenager at the time. I never even stopped to think about my little sister." Janine sighed, turning her attention once more to the floor. "I would give anything to go back and change that day. Maybe if I had stayed, Catherine would still be alive."

"Janine, listen to me," Olivia replied, reaching across the table and taking the young woman's hands in hers. As Janine looked up into her eyes, Olivia smiled softly. "You can't blame yourself for what your father did to you and your sister, and you can't beat yourself up for the fact that he killed her. You're here now, and that's what matters. At this point, it is the best thing you can do for Catherine. She deserves justice."

"His cane is in his office nowadays. Catherine called me two years ago and begged me to save her, but I just ignored the voicemail. But I saved it. She said he had upgraded the cane to a metal one, and that he had taken to beating her in the morning AND at night, and raping her in between. She ended the message with a plea for me to come rescue her." Janine reached into her purse and retrieved an old cell phone. She passed it to Olivia. "Please, just listen to the voicemail. It is almost ten minutes long, but it tells you every sick thing he did to her."

Olivia looked down at the phone in her hands, then back up at Janine. "Janine, as helpful as this could be in proving he abused her, it does not prove he murdered her."

"It might," Janine replied. "At the end of the message she said he would tie her to the bed while he raped her and then cut into her breasts and thighs, enough to hurt, but not enough to make her bleed to death. What if he went too far this time? I know he did, Detective Benson. My father is a very cruel, sadistic man. Please help my sister."

Those words hit Olivia like a ton of bricks. Throughout the entire recounting of the abuse Janine and her sister had suffered through for over twelve years, the knot in Olivia's stomach had grown and grown. Now it was actually painful. "We'll do everything we can, Janine," she responded. "But we need you to testify against your father."

Janine's brown eyes snapped to attention. "Anything to put that bastard away for the rest of his miserable life," the girl replied.


	12. Chapter 12

"For the last time, pink and blue _clash_," Casey said as Olivia scrolled down further on the computer screen.

"Okay, Fashionista, I get it," Olivia answered, shooting a playful smirk at the beautiful attorney.

Casey couldn't resist the smile that formed on her lips. "Oh shut up," she replied with a grin of her own. She pulled the chair closer to her girlfriend and laid her head on the older woman's shoulder. They were browsing through stuff for the wedding, from clothes to decorations to invitation ideas, although Casey wasn't sure about that last one, since most of their friends were coworkers, and were therefore completely clueless about the entire thing. But Olivia wanted to get married within the next few weeks, despite Casey's worry that there would not be enough time to plan. Who could plan a perfect white wedding in a matter of weeks? However, she knew if they set their minds to it, it could be done. "Oooh, how about that one," the redhead murmured as her eyes fell upon a lacy white gown. As Olivia enlarged the picture, Casey stared at the dress for several moments, drinking in the lacy veil and bodice and the way it appeared to curve in at all the right places. "I like this one," she said, reaching for the mouse and changing the order count from zero to one.

Olivia chuckled. "Casey, honey, we're only on the first page. I'll bookmark it, but you're not making up your mind until we go through at least six more."

"You're no fun," Casey answered, sticking her bottom lip out in a playful pout.

Olivia looked into the young attorney's emerald green eyes. "I didn't say you couldn't have it, baby. I just want you to look at more before you definitively make your selection. Besides," she added, turning her attention back to the online catalogue, "You of all people should know just how fun I can be."

"Good point." Casey reached for the giant bowl of popcorn next to Olivia's laptop and took a small handful. She loved it when they were both in playful moods like they were tonight. The redhead found it to be a bit of a turn on. She settled into her chair, nibbling on a kernel of perfectly buttered popcorn as her girlfriend changed the page to one that consisted of a variety of strapless gowns, which Casey had little desire for. And the page after that was primarily colored gowns. Casey wanted white. It wasn't that she was picky. It was just that this was her first time ever being married, and she wanted the white wedding that she had dreamed about ever since she was a little girl. "Stop," she said suddenly. As Olivia did, Casey pointed to the white gown the mouse's arrow was hovering over. As Olivia enlarged it, the ADA's jaw dropped. Like the previous one she had pointed out, this gown was adorned with beautiful lace. But this one had the perfect look: it was low cut, but not to the point where it bared all, like some dressed seemed to; it moved in at the hips at a perfect degree, and its skirt flowed perfectly. "Now can I make up my mind?" she asked. "That one is my final choice."

Olivia smiled. "It's very beautiful, just like my soon to be wife." Leaning over, she gently kissed Casey on the lips before biting down, hard enough to make the attorney whimper in pleasure. Just as Casey was starting to enjoy the kiss, the older woman broke it without warning. She clicked the count button, raising it to one, then clicked "add to cart".

"Now for yours," Casey said with a smile. As she and Olivia exchanged places, she clicked the "home" button.

"I can just wear slacks, Case," Olivia said.

Casey looked at her in shock. "Olivia Nicole Benson, you are not wearing pants to get married. I know you hate skirts, but this is an important day! Please wear a dress?" As she made her request, Casey met Olivia's chocolate brown eyes with her emerald ones in a pleading gaze.

"You know the puppy dog pout doesn't work on me, no matter how adorable you are," Olivia responded. "However," she conceded, "I will wear a dress. A dress, NOT a gown. That's definitely too much frill for my liking."

Casey smiled, hugging her tightly. "I love you," she replied, thrilled to have gotten her way. Especially since getting Olivia Benson into anything other than pants was about as easy as analyzing Einstein's theory of relativity. She typed the key words "simple dress, non lace, non veil" into the search box, and hit enter. Within seconds, an array of choices flooded the screen. Out of the corner of her eye, Casey noticed Olivia scoot closer to her. Smiling to herself, the redhead turned her attention back to the computer screen. The next several minutes were spent in relative silence as they scanned browsed the dresses, minus the occasional "Oh, hell no" from Olivia. Finally, however, Olivia ordered her to stop. Casey couldn't help but laugh a little when she looked down and saw that they were on the final page of choices.

The dress Olivia had asked her to enlarge, Casey noticed, was actually quite pretty. It was a simple black halter dress that she could already see would emphasize Olivia's naturally well endowed chest. "Simple, yet elegant. Pretty, yet not over the top. This is what more girls should be wearing, not slutty mini skirts with hems barely past their ass," the detective said.

"Yes, beautiful," Casey murmured, resisting the urge to roll her eyes at Olivia's outburst of old fashioned views. The brunette was prone to do that occasionally, and Casey couldn't help but notice that it was often when they were shopping for clothes. "This one is really pretty," she added.

Nodding, Olivia reached over and hit the count button, followed by the add to cart. Ordering Casey to move, she reclaimed her seat in front of the computer and opened the cart, scanning it. Her eyes traveled to the total price at the bottom corner. "Holy shit," she exclaimed.

Casey blushed as her eyes, too, noticed the cost, which totaled well over six thousand. "Well, um, it's a good thing we have a lot in our savings account, I guess," she mumbled sheepishly.

"You think?" Olivia asked. When she realized that Casey thought she was mad, the older woman leaned over, kissing the young attorney on the cheek. "I'm not mad, sweetie, just surprised." Looking back at the screen, she asked "We have every conceivable decoration in the cart, including ice sculptures. Now we just added our dresses, and I know you're going to make me take you shoe shopping. But beyond that, are we forgetting anything?"

Casey hesitated for a moment before answering. She had no idea how to say what she wanted to add, so she spent several seconds thinking about it. Finally, she blurted out "I want you to meet my parents."

A/N: Please review.


	13. Chapter 13

"This is crazy. I can't believe I let you trick me into this," Olivia said as she and Casey got out of the car.

Casey rolled her eyes. "I didn't trick you, Olivia. You knew what you were agreeing to."

"What if they don't like me?" Olivia tried.

Casey sighed softly, and turned to face her girlfriend. There was something in that question that made her pause in her tracks. Olivia was usually the suave, confident detective that nobody would ever expect to feel shy. And yet here she was, questioning herself. In a way, it made Casey love her even more. "Babe, how can they not like you?" she asked. "You're beautiful and faithful and loving."

"But I'm a woman. Trust me, Casey, there aren't many parents out there who want to hear 'Hi, we've never met, but I'm your daughter's _girl_friend. Especially if they are a couple of homophobes."

Casey leaned in and kissed the older woman gently on the lips. "They are not homophobic. And as for their reactions to hearing that I am with a woman, well, I think once they get over the initial shock, it will be okay. Now come on, babe. Don't make me do this alone."

Olivia smiled and kissed her, then took the attorney's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. "Come on." Leading Casey up the steps leading to the front door, she watched as Casey rang the doorbell. "I hope they like me," she murmured.

"They will," Casey assured her, though she was just as nervous. "Just relax. As long as you don't jump me at the dinner table, they will love you as much as I do." With a comforting smile, Casey turned her attention to the front door just as it opened, revealing a woman who looked just like an older version of Casey. "Hey, Mom," Casey said, breaking the silence.

"Casey, I'm so glad to see you. You haven't spoken to us in over four years." Her mother's eyes fell upon Olivia, who was standing in a very cop like way on the top step. "And you brought a friend."

Casey paused for a moment. Her mother had never been one to tap dance around things. Almost everything she said was direct, and often left people speechless and at a loss for words. "Mom," Casey replied, choosing her words carefully. "This is Olivia. She's more than a friend. She's my best friend, but…" The redhead looked at Olivia for help. The older woman nodded, silently urging her forward. "It's complicated," Casey offered, mentally kicking herself at how lame that sounded. "But I want to tell you and Dad at the same time."

"Your father's in the dining room reading the paper. I was just starting dinner. I was worried about having too much left over, but now I see that we will not have to worry about that. Oh, and Olivia? Welcome."

Casey watched her mother step aside and retreat into the house. For a few moments, she and Olivia stood outside the front door, silently gazing into each other's eyes. Finally, Olivia broke the silence. "Ready?"

"Yeah. I..think so," Casey murmured. Then she nodded. "I'm ready," she said, trying to sound more convincing than she felt.

Olivia nodded, and the two women stepped inside, closing the front door behind them. The smell of Casey's mother's homemade spaghetti immediately assaulted them as they entered the living room from the foyer. If Casey didn't know any better, she would have sworn to have heard Olivia's stomach grumble. As they entered the dining room, the first thing Casey noticed was her father sitting at the table with the paper, the way he had done her entire life. "Anything good?" she asked.

Her father looked up, surprised. "Casey? What are you doing here?" he asked, the shock in his voice nearly tangible. "We haven't seen you in ages."

"I know, I'm sorry," Casey replied as her father got up from the table and enveloped her in a more than welcome hug. "I haven't even been in the city for the last few years. I just got back not too long ago." She looked at Olivia as she broke away from the hug. "This is Olivia Benson. She's a detective I work with. But she's more than that, at the same time, and that's why I came here tonight."

Her father looked over into the kitchen. "Julie, do you know what this is about?"

"No," Casey's mom replied. "I'm just as lost as you."

Casey bit her lip in frustration. As much as she wanted to demand that her mother be somewhat nice to her for once in her life, she silently forced herself to shut up. She was not going to fight. Not at all. No fighting whatsoever. Finally, once she felt calm enough, Casey asked both of her parents to sit down. As they did, she thanked them, then took her seat next to Olivia. "Mom, Dad, when I joined SVU in 2003," she began, "I butted heads horribly with most of the detectives, Olivia included. But as the next couple of years wore on, I developed close friendships with them. One night, I was beaten by the brother of a Muslim rape victim. Olivia, who had become by best friend, was the one who saved me." Casey paused, realizing she hadn't gone into much detail. But then again, she knew that a lot of detail was not needed. "Anyway, throughout the next couple of years we went from being best friends to hearing rumors that we were sleeping together. I thought it was ludicrous at the time, but then I began to realize that maybe it wasn't. I realized, eventually, that I had feelings for my best friend, and that scared me, because I had never loved a woman, much less been with one. And besides that, how could I love a detective in my unit? It was forbidden! But then on Christmas four years ago, my boss threw a Christmas party, and I invited Olivia as my one allotted guest." She looked at Olivia, silently asking her to continue.

Olivia took the hint. "I knew that if I didn't do something that night, I would probably never have the chance to again. I, too, had been struggling with feelings for Casey. That night, after the party, I invited her back to my apartment, but not with any ulterior motives. I did, however, end up kissing her, and from there, we took our relationship to a whole new level. When Casey left after being censured, I was heartbroken, but I waited for her, knowing in my heart that the love of my life would come back someday. And she did. So I did what I vowed to do when she got back: I asked her to marry me."

Casey smiled softly, looking at her parents. "Olivia loves me, and I love her. I wanted to tell you guys because you are my parents, and I love you. I only hope you accept Olivia and our relationship, and especially our upcoming marriage."

The room became eerily silent, and the tension could have been sliced with a knife. The longer her parents went without responding, the more nervous Casey became, and she shifted in her seat. Finally, however, her mother looked from her to Olivia and back again. "Casey, you should have told us a long time ago. We would have been supportive. The fact that you made us wait so long before saying anything has made this even more shocking." She shared a glance with Casey's father, then continued. "But, despite the shock, we are happy for you, Case. And we do accept Olivia, and your marriage. Thomas?"

"Congratulations," Casey's father offered at his cue, nodding in agreement.


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's note: Hey guys. Just a warning here: this chapter takes place two months after the previous one. I couldn't decide if I wanted to go into a ton of detail about the wedding planning, but I think because of future events in the story, this is the best way to go. As always, please review, so I know how I'm doing. Thanks!_

Casey awoke early in the morning to an extremely bright sun. She yawned, stretching catlike on the bed. Glancing over at the empty side of the bed, she paused, her mind fleetingly wondering why it was unoccupied. Then it hit her: it was her wedding day. And Olivia was being stubbornly insistent on "not seeing the bride before the wedding". Casey smiled softly to herself. The older woman had gone out of her way to make this a traditional wedding in every way possible, even going so far as to sleep in a hotel and leave Casey home alone for the night before. Casey couldn't help but feel loved.

Slowly, the attorney stood up from the bed and walked over to the window. Opening the curtains, she looked down at the city below, taking a moment to reflect on the fact that, had they wanted to get married four years ago, it wouldn't have been legal.

Shaking her head, Casey drew the drapes and walked into the closet. Finding her dress, she gently ran her fingers across it, smiling to herself. She was still in the "I can't believe this is happening; it must be a dream" phase. Just as she had carried it into the bedroom and laid it on the bed, her phone vibrated. Grabbing it, she opened the new text message, noting that it was from Olivia. The message was simple, reading "Good morning, Mrs. Benson. I know I'm early in calling you that, but we're only a couple of hours away. And yes, I'm texting you. They only say you can't see the bride before the wedding. Nobody said anything about texting her. Love, Olivia."

Casey giggled as she read the message. Leave it to Olivia to make her feel like a giddy schoolgirl, as opposed to an intelligent attorney. The redhead hit reply and typed "Way to find a loophole. I can't believe we're going to be married in less than five hours!" After hitting send, Casey gently tossed her phone back onto the bed and headed into the bathroom for an early morning shower.

"**Where is everyone?" **Casey asked an hour later as she made her way up the steps outside of the church.

"Everyone is inside, including Olivia," Alex replied. Her gaze traveled up and down Casey's body. "You look gorgeous."

Blushing almost as red as her hair, Casey replied "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself," she added as she admired the other woman's simple black dress. If anyone would have told her five years ago that Alexandra Cabot would be her maid of honor at her wedding, Casey would have politely told them they were nuts. But ever since she had come back, and now that she and Alex were _both _working at SVU, she had begun to develop a close friendship with her predecessor. Alex, in addition, was one of the few people who knew that Casey and Olivia were dating, much less getting married. Pulling out of her thoughts, Casey looked at Alex, her emerald eyes meeting the blonde's piercing blue ones. "I'm so nervous," she said, glancing over at the doors leading into the church.

"Why?" Alex asked. "You look beautiful. You're everything Olivia wants, and has ever wanted."

"How do you know?" Casey wondered aloud, immediately cursing herself for saying that when she hadn't meant to.

Alex smiled, revealing a mouth full of perfectly straight white teeth. "Because she told me so. You'll do fine, Casey. Just trust me."

"I hope so," Casey murmured, more to herself than Alex. She glanced at the huge clock above the church and then said "It's 11:55."

"Ready?"

Casey inhaled sharply, then slowly let the breath out as she tried to calm the intense fluttering in her stomach. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she answered. "We better not keep the priest waiting. Or Olivia, for that matter." Having said that, the redhead smoothed out her dress one last time (though it wasn't really needed), took another deep breath, and stood next to the doors, waiting for her cue. When the music started, she looked at Alex, who nodded reassuringly, then began the walk down the aisle, her heart beating so rapidly that she wondered if it was trying to escape her chest. At the other end, she could see the priest, Alex, who had taken the shortcut and was now standing next to the priest, and Olivia, who stood on the priest's opposite side, beaming. Casey smiled softly as their eyes met from across the room, the color rising to her cheeks once more.

Finally completing her walk at the other end of the aisle, Casey barely realized that the music stopped. She returned her lover's smile, and tried desperately to calm her racing heart. It was finally time for Casey Elizabeth Novak to become the wife of Olivia Nicole Benson.

"**Can someone pinch me?" **Casey asked an hour later from her place on Olivia's lap. They and a selective few of their guests were seated around the table in the backyard of Casey's parents' house.

"I still can't believe you two are married," Munch replied, reaching for the salad. "Of course we've all known all along that Olivia's into women, but none of us ever guessed you two were together."

Fin turned to look at him. "You've never realized that Liv and Casey had a little something going on? Liv's jaw practically drops every time Casey enters the room."

Casey blushed at the same time Olivia shot him a nasty glare. "It does not. Why don't you two try being mature for once?" the brunette asked.

"Where's the fun in that?" Munch asked, smirking as he grabbed the dressing. "Especially when you two make such an adorable couple together."

"Well, thank you," Casey answered, smiling at their friends. "We've been together since December 2006, and here we are almost exactly five years later. None of you ever knew, for obvious reasons." She looked at Olivia, smiling softly as her wife kissed her cheek.

Olivia took the cue and continued. "But we decided that, in light of this new step in our relationship, we wanted to share it with those in our life that we trust most. So that meant you three," she clarified, looking from Alex to Fin to Munch. We didn't invite Amaro or Rollins, because we have only known them for a couple of months. It was my call. I don't think I trust them enough to have them here on such an important day as this one. I just don't feel as if I trust either of them enough yet." She glanced over at Munch. "If that gets around," she warned.

"My life will be a living hell, I know. This isn't high school, Liv."

Alex placed the plate of chicken on the end of the table. "But what about Cragen?" she questioned.

Casey shrugged. "Neither one of us feel ready enough to tell Cragen. Maybe he would be understanding, but at the same time, I think he needs to be eased into it, rather than just bombarded with the knowledge that one of his detectives is sleeping with and MARRIED to the ADA." Casey paused, glancing at the nearly empty plate of chicken. "I'll go get some more," she announced, grabbing the plate.

As she headed into the house, she heard Olivia call "I love you, Mrs. Benson."


	15. Chapter 15

"Are you alright?"

Casey snapped out of her daydream. She looked up at Olivia, who was staring at her in a way that made the redhead wonder if her wife thought she was about to fall over at any second or something. "Hmmm?" She paused for a moment, then remembered the question. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking."

Olivia smiled softly. "What about?"

"Stuff," Casey answered vaguely. She propped herself up on her side with one arm and glanced absentmindedly around the yard. She knew it was getting late, since the sun had all but set already, and all that was left was a dim orange-pink glow that cast over the lawn. "I'm so used to us always saying 'your place or mine', but that was when we were simply together. I mean, we're married now, and we still haven't definitely decided on whose place to technically live. I get my mail at my apartment, and you get your mail at yours." She sighed softly, meeting Olivia's chocolate brown gaze. "I know that there are some married couples out there who sleep in separate bedrooms, but separate apartments is a bit extreme, don't you think? Especially since we've been married for…" Casey checked her phone for the time. "Exactly eight hours and six minutes. Wait, seven. I don't know about you, but don't much relish the thought of having things in common with people who have been married for fifty years when WE haven't even been married for a day…."

As Casey paused in her rambling to breathe for a moment, Olivia smiled softly, moving a chair over and sitting down next to the younger woman. "You won't have to worry about us living in separate apartments on opposite ends of the city anymore." Without elaborating further, the detective reached for her coat. After rummaging in the pocket for several seconds, she pulled out a small velvet box. She handed it to Casey. "Open it."

Wondering what was going on, Casey did as she was told. She slowly opened the box Olivia had given her and gasped when she saw what was inside. Nestled in the felt was a tiny silver key. "Olivia, what-I mean this-when-how-?" Casey found herself unable to form a coherent sentence through the shock. "Is this…what I think it is?" she finally managed to choke out.

"I don't know, baby. If you think that you happen to be holding the key to our new house, then yes, it is indeed what you think it is," Olivia replied, leaning over to kiss the attorney on the cheek.

Speechless, Casey gazed at the little key for several long moments. So many thoughts ran through her mind at lightning speed, combined with a plethora of emotions. She was shocked, surprised, ecstatic, and amazed all at once. She was also slightly disappointed that she had missed out on choosing a house for their family, but that emotion only fluttered within her for a split second, then it was gone. "I don't know what to say," she murmured, looking into Olivia's eyes once more. "When did you do this?"

"When you had night court a couple of weeks ago. I had been browsing, but I wanted to surprise you, and since I had that night off, I knew it was the perfect time to go, especially since today was getting closer and closer. I only hope you like it as much as I do."

"I trust your judgment," Casey told her, laying her head on the brunette's shoulder. "You know that I am not picky when it comes to things like that. As long as it's not located in say, Harlem, or even Brooklyn, I'm happy."

Olivia smiled. "That would be none of the above, Counselor. Our new home is actually relatively close to the courthouse. I just hope you don't faint on me when I tell you exactly where it is. I could catch you, of course, but that is not the point."

"Will you just tell me where it is?" Casey asked, the anticipation driving her crazy.

"You have to promise you will not faint, no matter what," Olivia replied.

"Olivia!"

Olivia chuckled. Casey knew that her wife was only teasing her, but when anticipation was added into the mix, it made for a very impatient attorney. "It's on the Upper East Side," she answered finally.

For the second time that night, Casey found herself at a loss for words. She wasn't quite sure what it was about the mere location of their new home that made her feel so loved. But then it hit her: shortly after she and Olivia had gotten together, nearly five years ago, Casey had told her that she had always wanted to live on the Upper East Side. Though it was true that she had technically grown up there, she had always wanted to live there on her own, with a family of her own. "You remembered," she said out loud, pulling out of her reminiscing.

"I never forgot," Olivia responded, reaching out to brush a stray red curl out of Casey's emerald eyes. "How could I ever forget something that you dreamed about, something you wanted with all your heart? I know I'm getting old, but I'm not that bad yet," she remarked with a smile as she reached for her coat and placed it on the younger woman's shoulders. Seeing Casey reach to take it off, Olivia placed her hand over her the redhead's. "It's cold out here, Casey. Leave the jacket on. The last thing I need is for my wife to catch pneumonia before we go on our honeymoon. And no, do not ask me where we are going, because I am not telling you. It's a surprise?""

"But what about you?" Casey asked, for once following orders. That was due mostly to the fact that nine tenths of her mind was currently preoccupied with wondering how the detective could stand the freezing weather, which, tonight, was accompanied by nipping wind that ruffled every tree in sight. "I don't want you to get cold."

Olivia shook her head. "I'm not. Now, I have a question for you."

"And what would that be?" Casey asked, a playful smile tugging on the corners of her lips.

Olivia grinned. "Are you ready to see our new home, Mrs. Benson?"


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's note: Hey everyone. I am really sorry for the long pauses in between updates lately. I have been very busy, and also very picky about what I want to write. Especially now that Casey and Olivia are married, and need a honeymoon AND to plan for their family. I just wasn't sure how to work it all in, but I think I have figured it out, and I hope everyone likes the next few chapters. As always, reviews are greatly appreciated. Thank you. _

"I still feel like I am in a dream. An amazing, wonderful, fantastic dream that I never want to awake from," Casey remarked as she watched the world outside zip past as the car moved.

Olivia looked at her for a nanosecond before turning her attention back to the road. "If you want me to pinch you when we get to the house, I will. Then, hopefully, you will realize that this amazing life is our reality to share together forever."

Casey turned away from the window and looked at her wife, eyebrows arched. Since when was Olivia Benson a mushy romantic? "Do you mind? My head is the one in the clouds here, babe. Yours is supposed to be on the ground, being the logical one."

"Is that so?" Olivia asked with a chuckle, keeping her eyes glued to the road as she slowed in front of a stop light. "So you get to be the daydreamer and I get to be the sensible one. Hmmm."

Casey shrugged. "It has been that way for as long as we have known each other. I've always been the crazy daydreamer. Remember my old fantasy of our wedding?"

"The one where I carried you off on horseback?" Olivia questioned, the corners of her lips rising in a playful smirk.

Casey blushed nearly as red as her hair. "Yeah, that one," she mumbled sheepishly. "But your response was that you couldn't carry me off on horseback because my suggested location to get married made riding horses very impractical. See? You're the logical one in this relation-marriage," she quickly amended.

Olivia smiled as she eased the car into a huge spiral driveway. "I know, baby, I'm just teasing you," she replied, shutting the car off. "Okay, look around. What you see is what you will be seeing every day from here on out. Welcome home, Mrs. Benson."

Casey did as she was told. Gazing outside through the windshield, she could see two monstrous trees flanking the path leading up to the front door. Next, she noticed a garage, which, though being viewed from the outside, was quite obviously a double car garage. "Oh my gosh," the attorney murmured, taking in the beautiful front yard, from which sprouted luscious green grass. Finally her attention fell upon the house itself: a three floor home, not counting the attic and basement, the house was beautiful from the outside. It was made of brick, which had always been Casey's dream home. She could see from the driveway that the front door had an old fashioned knocker on it, just like she had always wanted, and the door itself was painted a beautiful light pink, perfectly complementing the bricks.

"Do you like it?" came Olivia's question, startling Casey out of her thoughts.

"Mmhm," Casey answered, too speechless to form much of a coherent thought. "It's so beautiful, Olivia," she murmured.

Olivia chuckled. "If you are done falling in love with the outside, let's go inside, then you can gush all over again, okay?" Without waiting for an answer, the older woman opened her door, stepped out, and made her way over to the passenger side. As she opened Casey's door, she grinned. "Care to come with me and experience am everlasting journey of love, happiness, and romance?"

Casey giggled. "I do," she answered as she took her wife's hand and stepped out of the car. She loved how romantic Olivia could be at certain times and how domineering at others; the switch was a major turn on for Casey. As they walked up the driveway together, Casey once more admired the entire house, including its scenery, now that her view was not obstructed by the car. "It really is beautiful," she whispered, gently squeezing Olivia's hand as the brunette unlocked the front door.

"I'm glad you like it, baby," Olivia responded. As the latch clicked, she pushed the door open, then turned to Casey. Without warning, she lifted the younger woman into her arms and carried her across the threshold into their new home. She held her until they reached the kitchen. Setting the attorney down, Olivia smiled at the shocked look on Casey's face. "I told you I always wanted to carry you across the threshold as my wife."

Casey nodded, smiling. "I know." She glanced around the kitchen, taking in the island that stood in the center of the room, the silver refrigerator and matching freezer, the numerous cabinets of varying sizes and even shape, and the stove, which was a black so shiny that it showed reflections as well as any mirror. Again, Casey found herself speechless. She couldn't believe how much everything matched the hopes and dreams she had shared with Olivia. "It's perfect. Absolutely perfect," she said out loud, her attention wandering to the sink, which had a hose for easier rinsing, and then the dishwasher. "Olivia, it's-" But as Casey turned around to voice her opinion, she was silenced by a forceful kiss. She whimpered softly as Olivia pinned her against the counter and brushed her fingers across her thighs, which were easily accessible thanks to her mid-thigh length skirt. Reaching up, Casey threaded her fingers through Olivia's hair, moaning as the brunette deepened the kiss.

But, just as soon as it had started, the kiss was broken. Olivia stepped back, smirking. "If you think this is perfect, wait until you see the bedroom. But first, we're going to go on a tour of the rest of the house." Taking Casey's hand, Olivia led her outside and into the back yard, which Casey could see contained a huge pool that had to be at least eight feet deep, complete with a diving board, with a bubbling hot tub directly across from it.

"I think I'm in love," Casey whispered, her attention focused mostly on the pool. She had always loved water; when she was little, she swam so much that her parents had started calling her their little fish.

Next, Olivia gave her a tour of the living room, with its cozy fireplace and adorable love seat, the foyer, which they had already walked through on the way in, and the dining room that adjoined the kitchen, complete with a massive cabinet for storing holiday dishes. "It's all amazing, babe," Casey said, turning to face Olivia as they stood in the middle of the living room. "Incredible. I love it."

Olivia kissed her gently on the lips. "I'm glad," she replied. "Now I hope you do not think I sound too cliché in saying this, but now for the grand finale, presenting…our bedroom." That being said, Olivia led Casey up three flights of stairs to the top floor and down a huge hallway until they reached the master bedroom. "Close your eyes, baby." As Casey did as she was told, she heard the bedroom door open, followed by Olivia's voice saying "No peeking." The next few moments were quiet and seemed endless, and just when Casey thought she would die from the anticipation alone, Olivia said "Open".

Following orders, Casey opened her eyes slowly. She could see immediately that the bedroom was huge, with a beautiful pink paint covering the walls and very expensive furniture, including an old fashioned vanity mirror. But that wasn't what captured her attention. It was all gorgeous, but what drew Casey's attention was not the bed itself, but what the bed contained. Just above the headboard dangled a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. Casey's jaw dropped in shock. One thing was for sure: this was definitely going to be an interesting wedding night.


	17. Chapter 17

"Oh. My. God, Olivia," Casey murmured, her gaze still focused on the handcuffs. If she didn't know any better, she would worry that her eyes had completely popped out of her head, as surprised as she was.

"Oh my god, what?" Olivia asked, walking over to Casey and wrapping her arms around the redhead from behind. "Don't you mean, oh my god, Olivia, I'm so surprised, but in a good way, because I know you're going to drive me to insane heights of pleasure until I cannot walk tomorrow morning."

Casey turned her head enough so she could shoot the older woman a playful glare. "I soooo don't sound like that," she replied, her voice taking on the valley girl dialect Olivia had employed. She paused for a moment as her wife's words finally sunk in. "Wait a minute. What do you mean I won't be able to walk?"

"Just that, baby. You'll see." Olivia kissed her gently on the neck, biting down so softly that Casey wondered if she had imagined it. With a low growl, the brunette pulled every stitch of clothing the ADA was wearing off within seconds, tossing them to the floor carelessly. Grabbing Casey's hand, she pulled the attorney over to the bed and pushed her down, pinning her firmly. Raising Casey's arms, she placed the cuffs on her wrists and locked them. Casey briefly wondered how it was possible that, while technically being handcuffed to a _wall, _she could still be laying down in absolutely no pain at all.

Casey watched as Olivia took her own clothes off and then dimmed the light next to the bed. "You didn't read me my rights, Detective," she said, defiantly looking straight into Olivia's eyes. Seeing Olivia's eyes flicker with what was obviously a warning, Casey felt a flutter in her belly that traveled downwards.

Instead of answering right away, Olivia got on top of her, pinning her firmly against the bed. "Did you say something, Counselor? Because it sounds to me like someone needs a little lesson in how to talk to people." Tossing the key to the handcuffs onto the nightstand beside the bed, Olivia continued. "You want to be read your rights? Fine. Casey Elizabeth Benson, you are under arrest for assault in the first degree and insubordination. Right now your sentence is looking quite harsh, but, I'm not unreasonable. It is possible to get out early for good behavior."

Casey felt her arousal spike as she listened to the older woman's words. If there was anything hotter in the world than Olivia Benson when she was in a particularly domineering mood, as she was tonight, Casey had yet to think of something. Their cop/ADA banter was always part of their special time together, even when they simply wanted to take things slowly. "What is my sentence, Detective?" the redhead asked.

"You'll find out soon enough," Olivia replied. "I think it would be more practical if, instead of wasting my breath explaining it to you, I show you. To demonstrate the severity of your crimes, of course." As an evil grin formed upon her face, the detective moved to the other end of the bed and positioned herself in front of Casey. Her fingertips gently brushed across the attorney's hypersensitive skin. Feeling Casey jump, Olivia smirked. "Now if you get worked up this quickly, how do you plan on surviving a full prison sentence?" she asked. Suddenly, she added "Close your eyes."

"Olivia, this-"

"Close them," Olivia ordered, looking up at her.

Groaning softly, Casey did as she was told. As she closed her eyes, she allowed her head to fall back against the pillows. Briefly, her mind wandered to curious theories of what Olivia had in mind, but she had no more than a few seconds to ponder them, because, almost as soon as she had closed her eyes, she felt Olivia bite down yard on her clit. Casey let out a yelp, more of surprise than pain, though Olivia did have sharp teeth.

"I warned you," Olivia murmured against her. "You would think you would know not to sass me by now, especially after almost six years of being together. Now keep your eyes closed and do _not _open them. I know you like to watch me make love to you, but not tonight." Having said her peace, the brunette settled against the bed and began moving her tongue in gentle circles around Casey's clit.

Every few seconds, Casey felt Olivia bite down again, progressively harder each time. She moaned quietly in pleasure, unconsciously attempting to reach down and pull her wife's hair before she remembered that she was handcuffed, which made it quite impossible. She hated how quickly she had gotten worked up. This was their wedding night, after all. Wasn't it supposed to be slow and romantic? Casey doubted that an orgasm after only a few minutes qualified in either of those categories.

She was yanked from her thoughts when Olivia bit down harder than ever and her tongue began to rotate between biting, sucking, and licking her clit, and Casey's moans grew louder accordingly. "Olivia," Casey whimpered, straining against the handcuffs yet again. In response, Olivia reached up and began massaging Casey's breasts, growling as the redhead's nipples hardened in response to her touch. Just as Casey thought she was going to explode, Olivia stopped and pulled back.

Casey looked at her, pouting before quickly shutting her eyes again, realizing she had disobeyed Olivia's orders. With a small smile, Olivia leaned down and kissed her passionately on the lips. "I have a better idea." Without elaborating, the brunette stood up from the bed. Though her eyes were closed, Casey could hear the nighstand drawer creak open. Moments later, she heard Olivia say "Open." She did as she was instructed, just in time to notice Olivia holding a strip of cloth, which she used to gag the attorney. "Close." Sighing, Casey did as she was told again.

"Good girl," Olivia replied, settling once more at the foot of the bed. Gently prying Casey's thighs apart, the brunette's tongue resumed its work torturing the attorney's throbbing clit; simultaneously, she easily thrusted three fingers into her, making Casey whimper against the gag. "You're so beautiful, baby," Olivia murmured. "Gorgeous, sexy….you know you want to come for me. Do it, sweetheart." After relaying her orders, Casey pulled Casey's clit into her mouth and sucked on it so hard that it was nearly painful, with her tongue moving in tiny circles with just a hint of pressure. And as she bit down one last time at the perfect moment, the redhead lost it.

Casey cried out loudly as her orgasm took ahold of her and she came in Olivia's mouth. As Olivia cleaned up her mess and then swallowed, Casey slowly came back to earth. Finally, she collapsed on the bed, panting as she tried to calm her racing heart. "Payback's a bitch," she managed to whisper.

_Author's note: Well, what did everyone think? Let me know please. Reviews are ALWAYS welcome. They are what makes stories feel welcome and appreciated. Thanks for reading. _


	18. Chapter 18

_Author's note: Hey everyone. I just want to say that I am SO sorry about the typo in chapter seventeen. Looking back on it, I'm not sure how I missed it during the proofreading but well…I did, and I'm really sorry. I hope nobody holds it against me. As always, thanks for the reviews and for reading. It is much appreciated._

Casey woke up around five in the morning. As she glanced over at Olivia, she noticed that the older woman was still asleep, snoring quietly. Casey smiled to herself and slowly eased herself out of the brunette's arms. Quietly, she padded over to the bedroom door and pulled it open. After stepping into the hallway, she closed it very softly, so as not to alert Olivia.

Making her way downstairs, Casey entered the kitchen and smiled when she noticed that Olivia had made a pot of coffee. So she _had _been up earlier, the redhead realized. Shaking her head, she took her favorite coffee cup out of the cupboard, which Olivia had stocked prior to them moving in. After pouring a cup and heating it for two minutes to near scalding, Casey stirred in a dash of French vanilla creamer and a couple of teaspoons of sugar. Once she was finished, she carefully carried her coffee upstairs. She was on her way to explore the attic, but she paused at the end of the third floor hallway when she noticed what it contained. At the far end of the hallway was a window seat. Casey, who had always loved window seats, especially when it came to places to read, walked over to it and sat down, moving the curtains aside to admire the outside world.

The view that greeted her was particular to the Upper East Side: trees lined both sides of the road, the cars were fancy and all over fifty thousand dollars in price, and she could make out the figures of a couple of dog walkers with tiny dogs in tow.

"Beautiful, isn't it?"

Casey jumped, nearly dropping her coffee. Turning around, she smiled when she saw Olivia standing there. "It's gorgeous," she answered as the brunette sat down next to her. Sighing happily, the redhead took a small sip of her coffee. Holding it out, she offered it to Olivia. "Want some?"

Olivia shook her head. "No, baby, you know I like my coffee black."

"Good point," Casey conceded, placing the coffee in her lap in such a way that it would not spill all over everything. "This place is amazing," she added, looking into Olivia's eyes (they were facing each other).

Olivia smiled. "I'm glad you like it. This is home now. No rent, just mortgage. No landlords. Baby, WE'RE the landlords."

Casey giggled. "I know. It's wonderful, isn't it? This is like a dream. Everything I have ever wished for has come true, or is going to come true soon."

"That reminds me," Olivia said, lowering her legs to the floor. "I know you want to have a baby soon, but have you given any thought to a specific profile you want?"

"From the father?"

"Yes."

Casey didn't answer for a moment. "I thought about it some," she admitted, setting her coffee on the ledge as she shifted positions. "This may sound really…discriminatory, but I would prefer to get a man with brown hair, as opposed to blonde or red. They tell you hair color right?" she asked as she looked at Olivia. As Olivia nodded, Casey smiled. "And maybe brown eyes. It's not that I want a designer baby it's just…" Casey trailed off, unsure how to word the last part of her thought. What was it about this stuff that was so difficult? Finally, she said "I want the baby to look like you."

Olivia reached for Casey's hand and intertwined their fingers, looking into the redhead's beautiful green eyes. "That's very sweet, babe. But you know what? As long as we have a healthy child, I'm happy. And a healthy wife too, of course," she added.

"Okay," Casey replied, moving closer to Olivia and curling up in her arms. "I love you."

"I love you more than anything," Olivia murmured as she kissed the top of Casey's head. "You are the best wife anyone could ever ask for."

Casey yawned as she snuggled into the feel of Olivia's strong arms around her. "So are you," she mumbled before closing her eyes and falling back asleep.

Olivia smiled and held her tightly, her own head resting against the wall. Casey was snuggled in her arms, the day outside was dreary due to the rain, and the inside of the house was the perfect temperature since the heater had been on all morning. Those things combined made for a very sleepy atmosphere. Olivia also knew that part of the reason Casey was so exhausted, aside from having been up until three in the morning, was that the younger woman was not used to being up this early in the morning. Without disturbing the sleeping attorney, Olivia very gently stood up and picked Casey up into her arms. She carried her through the hallway and up the stairs to their bedroom on the top floor. Once she reached the bedroom, she quietly opened the door and made her way over to the bed, where she laid Casey without waking her. Tenderly, Olivia pulled the covers up over her wife and paused for a moment, taking in the beautiful view with a smile on her face.

As Olivia herself laid down, Casey, still asleep, cuddled closer to her and laid her head on her chest. Olivia wrapped her arms protectively around her, feeling Casey's body relax as she did so. There was no doubt about it: Olivia had never been happier in her life.


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's note: Well, we can honestly say it has been long time no see. I apologize for that, as I am deeply sorry. I have been so busy lately that it got to the point where sure, I had time to write a chapter, but I knew it wouldn't be quality. So I waited. This is the first time I have had enough time. I hope you all forgive me. This chapter is in time for the holidays. I skipped a little ahead, as you will notice while reading it. Please don't sue me. _

"The tree looks beautiful."

Casey peeked out from behind the giant Christmas tree, from behind which she had been adjusting a string of lights. "It does," she agreed as Olivia joined her and handed her a steaming mug of hot chocolate.

"There will be four Bensons to enjoy it this year," Olivia replied. As she spoke, the brunette gently placed her hand on Casey's very swollen stomach. "Us and the girls."

Casey smiled softly, placing her own hand over her wife's. "Four Bensons," she repeated. She knew that Olivia was deliriously happy over the thought that they would be having the twins any day now. When Casey first revealed that she was pregnant, she had been worried that the older woman was going to faint, and that worry grew exponentially when she shared the news that she was pregnant with twin girls. For as long as she could remember, Casey had dreamed about being a wife and a mother, and both of those dreams would be complete very soon. "Six days," she remarked out loud without realizing it.

Olivia seemed to know what she meant, because she answered "Yes. Six days. And do not argue with me. You are having our daughters in a hospital under a doctor's strict supervision."

"But-"

Olivia cut Casey off mid protest. "If anything happens to go wrong, we need to be at the hospital. I cannot take the risk of losing you and our children, no matter how slim the odds. I am only thinking of your safety. If not for yourself, do it for me?"

The tiny pout that Olivia gave just then made Casey melt. "Fine," she conceded as the brunette pulled her into her arms for a passionate kiss. "For you, I will go to the hospital. But if the doctor starts talking to me like I am stupid, as doctors are known to do, then I will tell him off."

"That's my girl," Olivia responded with a smirk. She took the lights out of Casey's hand and finished stringing the tree. Stepping back, she smiled. "Now for the ornaments." Olivia paused when she noticed that Casey's expression had changed to one of apparent worry. "Baby, what's wrong?" she asked.

Casey shrugged, her emerald gaze falling to the floor. "I don't want to ruin your Christmas."

"Casey, I am married to the girl of my dreams and we are going to be parents. That is the best Christmas I can imagine. Why would you be afraid of ruining it?"

"Because." Casey sighed, walking over to the couch. She grabbed her favorite pillow and curled up, reaching for a blanket. As she covered up, she elaborated. "The girls are supposed to be born on December 21, only six days from now. Well, what if I am still in a lot of pain on Christmas and not in the mood for much at all, and I do not mean sexually…that is part of it, of course, but it also comes down to me worrying that I will be very antisocial. I've never done this before," she said, looking up as Olivia sat down next to her.

Olivia leaned forward and hugged her tightly. "You make me happy simply being you. As long as I have you, there is no way my holiday can be ruined. Does that make you feel any better?"

Casey laid her head on the older woman's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Much better," she murmured. "I'm sorry, babe. I am just really scared. I want everything to run perfectly for us." She smiled, opening her eyes and meeting Olivia's gaze. Something in the brunette's chocolate brown eyes had a way of making everything seem okay, even when the rest of the world felt like an impossible puzzle. Olivia's love for her was a sort of safety net for Casey's own emotions; she knew that no matter what, she would always have the woman she loved. "I love you."

"I love you too." Olivia checked the mugs of cocoa and smiled softly. "I will go make two more cups. Extra marshmallows for the mommy to be, I presume?" the detective asked, her eyebrows arched suggestively.

Casey giggled. "Yes please."

Olivia winked. "Coming right up." She leaned down and gently lifted Casey's blouse. Kissing the redhead's stomach, she smiled. "Be nice to Mommy, little ones."

"Sometimes I swear they never run out of energy," Casey remarked with a laugh of her own. "It feels like they kick all day and all night, but then again, some of it may all be in my head."

"It's natural, honey. I would be worried more if they didn't kick at all."

Casey nodded in agreement. "I know." She returned Olivia's kiss and handed her her empty cup. Watching as Olivia took it and walked into the kitchen, the redhead sighed happily and leaned back against the sofa, allowing her body to relax as much as it could. She directed her attention at the tree, which still needed its ornaments. Her gaze wandered to the several dozen boxes of decorations on the coffee table. Reaching out, she picked up the two ornaments she was most excited about. They were the ones that read "Baby's first Christmas". Casey stared at them for several moments, until the sound of Olivia's voice jolted her out of her daydreaming.

"Here, beautiful," Olivia said as she handed Casey a mug filled way past maximum with marshmallows. Seeing Casey's emerald eyes widen, she chuckled. "You said extra marshmallows."

Casey shook her head in disbelief. "Good god, Olivia," she answered, giggling. As Olivia sat down, she leaned in and popped a marshmallow into Casey's mouth. Casey grinned, then said "I wish I may, I wish I might, that my detective is in the mood tonight."

"Who says I'm not?" Olivia asked, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling with devilish intentions.


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's note: Hey everyone. I hope you can forgive me for the major gaps between updates lately. I have had a lot going on in my life, and I am just getting over being sick. I didn't want to post a bad chapter, because I believe in quality over quantity, and, in addition to being sick, I have had writer's block. These factors, when combined, made updating rather difficult. Anyway, I'm back, I promise. This particular chapter skips four months ahead of the previous one. What does this mean? It means Casey has already had the twins and is just getting ready to return to work. There's a method to my madness. You'll see later. As always, hope you enjoy the chapter and thanks for reading. Please review. Reviews are an author's bread and butter._

Casey awoke to the sound of crying from the nursery. Sighing, she rubbed her eyes and slowly pulled herself into a sitting position. A quick glance to her left confirmed her assumption that Olivia was asleep; the brunette's snores told her that much. Rolling her eyes, Casey carefully got up and headed into the huge walk in closet that Olivia had turned into a nursery. Seeing that her daughter was awake and crying, Casey gently lifted her out of the bassinet and into her arms. "What's wrong, Stephanie?" she asked as she gently rocked the baby in her arms. "Is your sister still sleeping?" As she spoke, she glanced over at Serena, who was fast asleep in her own bassinet. "Okay, sweetie, come on," Casey murmured. Reaching for Stephanie's favorite pacifier, she popped it into the baby's mouth and handed her her stuffed elephant. "It's okay, Mommy doesn't need sleep anyway," she sighed.

Heading downstairs, Casey carried Stephanie into the kitchen. After fumbling for the light switch for several moments, she managed to turn the lights on. Still holding Stephanie in her arms, Casey opened the cupboard above the stove and retrieved a can of formula. Within a few minutes, she had prepared a bottle of warm milk. "Here, sweetheart," she whispered as she fed her daughter.

"Morning."

Casey jumped so high she swore she almost hit the ceiling. "Olivia, you scared me!" she complained as she turned around to face her wife. "You know not to sneak up on me, especially when I'm half asleep and not functioning."

"Sorry, Miss Cranky," Olivia answered, lifting their daughter out of Casey's arms and into her own.

Casey sighed. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "But I cannot seem to get more than two hours of sleep at any given time. If Stephanie cries, I get up to get her. But I no sooner lay down after she is asleep before Serena wakes up."

"I help when I can," Olivia replied.

"I know," Casey admitted, feeling guilty for complaining so much. "But you aren't always home, babe, you know? I love being a mother, but I need to be somewhat rested when I return to work next week."

Olivia kissed her gently on the lips and smiled, brushing a stray red lock out of Casey's emerald eyes. "I know, baby. We will figure it out. Together. In the meantime…" The detective's chocolate brown eyes twinkled with mischief.

"In the meantime?" Casey repeated, wondering where this was going, and what her wife had planned.

"In the meantime," Olivia answered, heading over to the table, "I have a surprise for you and our daughters." She reached into the pocket of her coat, which she had draped over the back of a dining room chair when she got home at four AM, so that the loud noise of opening and rummaging through the closet wouldn't wake Casey. "I found these online," she said, walking back over to Casey after having retrieved four what appeared to be tickets.

Casey looked down, quickly reading them, noticing that they were indeed tickets. Above the barcode was the title _Shrek on ICE_. The attorney looked up at Olivia, who had reclaimed a spot next to her. "Babe, these are perfect," she said, grinning. "The girls will love it. And I mean…how can you not love Donkey and Gingy? Besides, we need some updated family photos."

"Sweetheart, I don't think your looks have changed since last week's family photos," Olivia assured her. "Wait.." The brunette pretended to lean in and examine Casey's complexion. "Nope, not at all. You're still as beautiful as ever."

Casey blushed deeply. "Well, thank you," she mumbled, setting the four tickets on the island. "And you are still the most beautiful detective in the world. I love you."

"I love you too. Which is why I went ahead and planned another surprise, but this one is just for my beautiful attorney."

"What is it?" Casey asked, intrigued, though she was still very groggy.

"I arranged for Alex to babysit the girls for a week while you and I take a romantic vacation to Hawaii." As she spoke, Olivia moved behind Casey and wrapped her arms possessively around the redhead's waist. "How does that sound? The sun, the sand, and all the kinky sex we want without worrying about being interrupted by work or the kids."

Casey felt her body instantly relax into the feel of Olivia's arms around her. It always made her feel safe, loved, and wanted. Without meaning to, the redhead purred softly in response. Realizing this, she blushed once more and said "That sounds perfect. But is it a bad sign that Serena and Stephanie are only four months old and we are already taking a vacation to get away from them? Does that make us bad parents? Selfish?"

Olivia shook her head, though, since Casey's back was turned to her, the attorney didn't notice. "No. It is a vacation for us, a chance for us to do things that maybe we couldn't necessarily do while you were pregnant. And I have vacation time that has been begging to be used, that has accumulated since I have barely used any in the twelve years I have worked for SVU. Trust me, baby, it's a good thing. Besides." Olivia gently spun Casey around and gazed into her eyes. "Are you really going to turn down endless kinky sex with New York's Finest?"

"Oh? I thought I would be having endless kinky sex with Olivia Benson. Who is this other member?" Casey asked, her lips curling into a playful smirk.

"Keep that up and you will not get anything, sweetie," Olivia told her. She kissed her on the lips and added "We need to get back to bed. The Bensons have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

Casey nodded and turned around to check on Stephanie, who she had laid down in the special crib in the dining room after burping her. She could see that her daughter was once more asleep. Lifting her very gently, Casey made sure Stephanie was safe in her arms and followed Olivia upstairs into their bedroom. Once Stephanie was back in her bassinet and the nursery light was off, Casey made her way into the main room and curled up in Olivia's arms. As the brunette's arms moved around her, Casey asked "So what kind of kinky sex do you have planned, Detective?"

"You will have to wait and see," came Olivia's reply, laced with seductive undertones.

_The next evening_, Casey, Olivia, and the twins arrived at the hotel that was hosting the ice event twenty minutes before it was due to start. But by the time they found a parking spot, checked in, and found their way through the huge line and into the tent that housed the ice sculptures, it was time for the show to start.

It began with a man pumping up the crowd, and warning about the temperature of the room in which the ice was. The next stop was the two windows to pick up the required parkas: the children window and the adult window. Casey and Olivia took jackets from the adult window and pulled them on, buttoning them all the way. Then they took two from the children window. Olivia helped Stephanie into hers, while Casey did the same for Serena. Both women pulled their daughters' hoods up. Casey tried to ignore what felt like a few dozen eyes. She wondered briefly if they knew she and Olivia were a couple, and if they did, her next wonder was if they were judging them.

"Case?"

"Hmmmm?" Casey pulled out of her thoughts and looked at Olivia, who was holding Stephanie up to see her. "Oh my gosh, how cute," the redhead cooed in response to seeing Stephanie's hood up. She pulled Serena's up and handed her to Olivia, who carried the girls over to a giant Shrek statue and sat down on the bench. Casey grinned and held up her camera, then took a picture. "You guys look so cute," she fawned as she admired the photo.

Olivia came over and looked. "Any bigger and the hoods would swallow their faces," she remarked with a smile. She traded with Casey, handing the twins to the redhead and taking the camera. Casey took her turn sitting down with their children, and Olivia took her turn taking the picture. "Awww. So adorable."

Hearing the detective fawn like this was strange for Casey, who was used to the bad cop routine, in bed and out. She came over and looked down at the picture. "Nice," she remarked. "Do you think we can find someone to take a family photo without them deducing we are married, and possibly judging us?"

"I don't know," Olivia answered, surveying the bustling crowd for a moment. "But let's wait until after. It's time to go in."

The next couple of hours were spent taking photos in front of massive ice sculptures of a variety of characters from Shrek, including the gingerbread man, the dragon, and all of the main characters from _Shrek the Halls_. By the time they returned the parkas, the camera was packed with pictures of various combinations of the Benson family, including one in a sleigh with all of them. Once they had checked out, it took another twenty minutes to find their way back to the parking lot, because Casey forgot which way their escalator had gone, and incorrectly guessed up.

Once they got home, Casey nursed Stephanie and Serena and laid them down in their bassinets. She activated the baby monitors and laid down next to Olivia, cuddling close to her wife's side.

"Are you still cold?" Olivia asked, wrapping her arms around her.

"Cold? Try I'm still thawing," Casey joked.

Olivia smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Casey."

"I love you too," murmured Casey, who was already beginning to fall asleep. "Thanks for tonight. I know we all had fun."

"You're welcome," Olivia replied, pulling the covers up over both of them. "I'm glad you and the twins had fun."

"Did you?" Casey asked, suddenly worried.

Olivia smiled again. "Of course. I was with the three people who mean the most to me in this world. How could I not?"

Casey nodded softly, and within a few moments, she was sound asleep.

_Author's note: Remember a few chapters back, when I opened the path for ideas? Well, Casey and Olivia are going on a kinky vacation together. Review and let me know what you all want. I promise to work it in. _


	21. Chapter 21

_Author's note: Hey everyone. Thanks for the ideas for the beach chapter. I will work them in to the best of my ability. In addition, while I was having writer's block for THIS story, I published a new one called Stay With Me. To anyone who reads it and reviews in that story's review section, I will be eternally grateful. And as always, reviews on THIS one are appreciated greatly. Thanks for reading. You're all awesome._

"Please remain seated as we prepare for landing. It is a beautiful day in Hawaii, with a seventy five degree temperature and a brightly shining sun. We at Southwest thank you for flying with us. We hope you enjoyed your flight, and welcome to Hawaii."

Casey opened her eyes slowly, the pilot's announcement pulling her out of a light sleep. She immediately noticed the blanket she was under. It didn't take much rocket science to deduce that it was her wife who had put it on her. She gently lifted her head off of Olivia's shoulder and looked up at her. "Mmm. Hey," she murmured sleepily. She laid her head back down, loving the feel of Olivia's arms around her.

"Hey, baby, did you sleep well?" Olivia asked, kissing the top of Casey's head.

Casey nodded, still half asleep. "Mmmhm," she replied absentmindedly. "Did you get some sleep?"

"I slept for a little while, but I mostly watched you sleep. You're so cute how you let out little noises while you sleep."

"I do that?" Casey asked, her cheeks turning as red as her hair out of embarrassment. She glanced out of the corner at her eye at nearby passengers to see if they were listening in or not. Luckily, everyone seemed to be immersed in their own business. The woman in front of them was trying to calm her screaming child, the men in the row across from them were discussing the upcoming Super Bowl and laughing raucously, and the couple behind them were too engrossed in their own love session to pay any attention. Casey turned her attention back to Olivia. "You know," she whispered in the older woman's ear, "there are other times I can make cute noises for you."

Olivia choked on the sip of her beer she had just taken. After several moments of coughing, once she had regained her breath, she turned to face Casey. "Why, Mrs. Benson, I you you are not attempting to seduce a police officer. Because if you are, I must inform you of the punishment for doing so."

"Which would be what?" Casey murmured, blowing air onto Olivia's neck, before gently nibbling at her earlobe. She knew she was being naughty, and that it would get her in deep trouble with her wife, but knowing that was what made being a bad girl so fun for her. Olivia often remarked that she wondered if Casey liked her punishments a little too much, but it was only playful jokes.

Olivia smirked, gently pushing Casey away from her so she could gaze into the attorney's eyes. Chocolate brown penetrated emerald. Olivia's gaze was full of lust and longing, making Casey wonder if the heat in the plane had suddenly been raised ten degrees. It certainly felt like it, especially when Olivia pressed their lips together in an extremely passionate kiss. She bit down hard on Casey's tongue, making the redhead whimper in a combination of pain and pleasure. Olivia pulled back. "That, my dear, is just a preview of what is going to happen tonight." Grinning, the detective settled back into her seat as the plane began its descent.

_Two hours later, _after they had retrieved their luggage and rented a car, Casey and Olivia arrived at the hotel Olivia had booked for them for the next two weeks. It was a five star hotel, and when they entered their bedroom, the first thing Casey noticed was the set of double doors that led to the outside balcony. She had begged Olivia to set up some chairs outside so they could watch the setting sun.

Olivia opened one of the doors and stepped outside, smiling when she saw Casey curled up on one of the lawn chairs, watching the sun dip down behind the horizon. She set a plate on the table between their chairs and sat down. Casey looked over at the food and smiled. "Pizza," she murmured. "How Hawaiian."

Olivia chuckled. "Well I would have ordered it with pineapple on it, but I know your favorite pizza is just double stuffed pepperoni with nothing else on it, so that is what I bought."

"Thank you," Casey replied. She reached for a slice of her pizza and the knife and fork Olivia had placed next to the plate. After cutting the pizza, she took a bite. Once she had swallowed, she smiled, then noticed that Olivia was watching her with a smirk. "What?"

"I have never met anyone who cuts their pizza before," Olivia answered. "Until I met you. I think it's really cute. It's part of what makes you yourself, Case. I love you." She leaned over and managed to give Casey a quick kiss despite the table that acted as a barrier between them.

Casey smiled shyly. "Thanks, babe. I get it from my mother. My dad always thought it was weird too."

The next hour was spent eating, talking, and laughing. Once it was too dark outside, even with the light on, Casey and Olivia cleaned up their mess and went inside, locking the balcony doors. Casey had just put some drinks in the refrigerator that came with their room when Olivia surprised her by pushing her onto the bed and kissing her roughly. "Your punishment...begins...now," the brunette growled between kisses.


	22. Chapter 22

"Can I open my eyes yet?"

"Not yet."

Casey was silent as Olivia led her a few more steps forward. "Now?" she asked hopefully. The anticipation was driving her crazy.

"Not yet," came the older woman's firm reply.

Casey pouted. "This walk seems endless," she complained as Olivia continued to lead her forward. Without looking she knew she was being led down a small flight of steps, and then forward what felt like an extra thousand steps. Finally, Olivia turned her around and kissed her. "Now?" Casey murmured.

"Now," Olivia repeated.

Casey opened her eyes and looked around. She could see that they were in a secluded section of the beach. The high tide waves lapped against the beach and sped back out to the ocean, only to be replaced by another set. Casey continued to admire their surroundings, including the beautiful palm trees and the pure white sand. "Oh, it's beautiful," she exclaimed, her gaze falling upon the large towel Olivia had spread out underneath two towering trees. On one side of it were two chilled sodas, and the other was a snack tray. "Wow," the redhead reiterated.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you, sweetie," Olivia answered, gently pushing Casey onto the towel. "I asked around, and apparently this section of the beach, in addition to being extremely romantic, is almost exclusively for couples who just want to be alone. What better place to spend our first night in Hawaii?"

"That's so sweet," Casey murmured as Olivia laid down next to her. She propped herself up onto her side and looked into her wife's beautiful chocolate brown eyes, feeling a sudden burst of emotion well up in her. She couldn't believe how loved Olivia always made her feel. Her move four years ago seemed so long ago. Feeling Olivia kiss her neck pulled her out of her reminiscing. "So what is the plan for tonight?" she asked, wondering what Olivia had in store as her punishment.

Olivia grinned, her teeth showing in a way that resembled the way Casey assumed a lion stared at its prey before devouring it. "Your punishment tonight is going to be in multiple parts," she answered as she undid one of the buttons on Casey's jacket. "Part one is here on the beach. Then, once we are done here, I will take you back to our hotel room for part two, which, if I do say so myself, is going to drive you crazy."

"What is it?" Casey asked hopefully, though she knew she would never be able to convince Olivia to tell her. If there was one thing she had learned early on in their relationship, it was that Olivia Benson was not one to reveal in advance what she had in store.

True to form, Olivia replied "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not going to tell you? Just wait and see, baby. It will be worth the wait, I promise."

Casey nodded as the older woman resumed working on her buttons. Once she had pulled her jacket off, Casey's shirt, tank top, and bra were thrown to the ground next. Then came her skirt, pantyhose, and panties (she had left her shoes in the hotel room). Olivia instructed her to lay down on her back and close her eyes. Casey did as she was told, without saying a word.

"Notice something odd about right now?" Olivia asked, kissing Casey's neck and sinking her teeth gently into the attorney's skin.

Casey moaned softly, keeping her eyes closed. She wondered how she was supposed to be able to think logically when her wife was torturing her body like this. Then, just when she was about to shrug and say she didn't know, the answer hit her like a ton of bricks. "I'm not handcuffed," she answered.

"That's right. And do you know why you're not handcuffed?"

Again with the questions. Casey silently cursed Olivia in her head. "I don't know," she murmured. Knowing Olivia, it was some obscure reason that she would have never figured out if she worked at it for a thousand years.

"Yes you do. Think, Casey. Why are you usually handcuffed?"

"Because I was a bad girl," Casey replied, opening her eyes to see if something in her wife's actions or facial expressions would give the answer away. But there was no such luck. "Tell me," she begged softly.

Olivia just smiled and shook her head. "You answered correctly to my first question. Usually when I handcuff you it is because you are a naughty little ADA. But you've been naughty today, haven't you?" Seeing the younger woman nod, Olivia nodded back and continued. "I didn't handcuff you because you're going to need your hands. And because you're going to be handcuffed all night long once we get to the hotel. Just wait until you see what I have in store for you. You'll be lucky if you're able to get out of bed tomorrow morning, let alone walk." She reached into the picnic basket and took something out, then held it behind her back before Casey could see what it was.  
>Close your eyes," the brunette ordered.<p>

"Olivia-" Casey tried to protest.

"Close your eyes," Olivia told her again. As Casey sighed and did as she was told, Olivia immediately took the small piece of cloth from behind her back. Grinning, she quickly gagged Casey. Pulling back, she admired her work. "Now keep your eyes closed or I will blindfold you in addition to gagging you, is that clear?" Unable to speak, Casey managed to give her a thumbs up. "Good girl," Olivia told her, nodding approvingly. "Open your legs," she suddenly commanded.


	23. Chapter 23

Casey was a bit taken aback by her wife's order. Once her brain came out of shock, though, she did as she was told. She parted her legs ever so slowly, wishing desperately that she could see the look in Olivia's eyes. That dream, however, was rendered impossible by the blindfold. Lost in her own thoughts, Casey yelped in surprise when Olivia yanked on her hair. "Pay attention," Olivia ordered quietly.

"How can I pay attention when I can't see?" Casey asked, feeling rather defiant at the moment. "Is that not like saying jump to someone with no legs?" She immediately regretted her outburst when Olivia bit hard into her breast and then sucked on the nipple to dissolve the pain.

"Talk again, and I will gag you. Understood?" When Casey didn't answer, Olivia sighed deeply. "That question you can answer."

Casey sighed. "Yes, it's understood," she mumbled, laying her head back against the towel and allowing her body to relax. She was going insane from the anticipation of what Olivia had in store for the evening, and she hated that she would have to wait. However, she also knew that she would not regret it.

"Good," Olivia responded, and Casey had a sneaking suspicion that her wife was wearing a trademark Benson smirk. The older woman brushed her fingertips lightly up and down Casey's body, until goosebumps rose and Casey shivered in anticipation beneath her. Olivia leaned down and kissed her passionately, forcing her tongue into Casey's mouth and down her throat, making Casey whimper in pleasure. Olivia bit her ever so gently and deepened the kiss. Just when Casey was beginning to lose herself in the kiss, Olivia pulled back and said "Someone gets worked up quickly". She chuckled at the fact that Casey chose that moment to stick her tongue out at her. "Watch where you are sticking that tongue," Olivia murmured, tracing her fingertips in gentle circles across Casey's torso, taking her time when she reached the redhead's breasts, which were already perky, illuminating her arousal.

Olivia placed her hands on Casey's stomach and gently took her right breast into her mouth. She began to suck on it, using her tongue to flick against Casey's nipple. She growled quietly as her wife moaned and squirmed beneath her. Suddenly, she switched her attention to Casey's other breast, and repeated everything she had just done.

Meanwhile, Casey felt like she was losing her mind. Her body had already tensed up. She squirmed and whimpered from her position underneath Olivia. As if reading her mind, Olivia, still switching back and forth from one breast to the other, slowly penetrated her with two fingers. Casey moaned loudly, biting her tongue so she wouldn't accidentally cry out.

Without warning, Olivia bit down hard on each nipple, and pulled back as Casey clawed her. "Are you trying to bait me?" she asked. Without giving Casey a chance to answer, she added "Don't say I didn't warn you." After kissing Casey once more on the lips, the brunette gently positioned herself between her wife's legs and held them apart. She began to gently suck on Casey's clit, which was already hard and swollen. Olivia growled as her tongue circled the young attorney's most sensitive spot, which, to Casey, felt like a vibration against her. As she lapped at the redhead's clit, Olivia once more inserted two fingers into her, moving them in and out ever so slowly. With her free hand, she massaged Casey's breasts, the nipples hardening painfully.

Casey was trying her hardest not to scream, but the closer she got to her orgasm, the harder remaining quiet became. Olivia's tongue began to alternate its method of assault on her clit. She switched quickly between sucking, licking, and biting, in addition to adding a third finger inside her. Casey could feel her body tightening. Her brain turned to mush and her heart felt as if it were going to burst out of her chest, as fast as it was beating. Her swollen clit was rock hard, and she was already extremely wet.

She completely lost it when Olivia bit down a final time. She began to moan Olivia's name loudly and repeatedly, in addition to a string of words she normally didn't use in her every day life. When Olivia bit down on her clit, Casey's orgasm torpedoed through her body. She arched off of the towel as she came in Olivia's mouth. The orgasm lasted for several moments. Finally, she collapsed against the towel as Olivia slowly withdrew her fingers and swallowed. "I love you, baby," Olivia whispered as she kissed Casey on the cheek.

"I love you too," Casey murmured back with a soft smile.

Olivia untied the blindfold and handed the younger woman a bottle of soda. She opened one of her own and took a rather large sip. "You're so beautiful, sweetheart," she said, laying down next to Casey and taking Casey's right hand. Smiling, she intertwined their fingers and squeezed gently. "Are you ready to go up to the hotel?"

Casey nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm ready." She carefully stood up, feeling dizzy at first. Once she regained her balance, she got dressed and helped Olivia pack up the food and blankets. Hand in hand, they made their way back to their hotel room. When they got there fifteen minutes later, Olivia put the food away in the refrigerator that had come with the room and instructed Casey to lay on her back and close her eyes.

Casey did as she was told, wondering what would happen now. She laid completely still, attempting to listen to figure out what Olivia was getting from the bathroom, but the older woman was being so quiet that, had a pin fallen, it would have been heard. "Keep your eyes closed," came Olivia's voice several minutes later.

Quickly, she cuffed Casey's hands and said "Open."

"What-" Casey pause as her eyes flew open and were greeted by the sight of what else Olivia had retrieved from the bathroom. The toy that Casey loved so much was already locked into place around her wife's hips.


	24. Chapter 24

Casey's emerald eyes dilated to the size of saucers when she saw the strap on. As her gaze traveled upwards, it met Olivia's smirk head on. "You know, if I didn't know any better, I would swear you and that thing are joined at the hip," she quipped with a playful wink.

Olivia chuckled. "Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear." She crawled up onto the bed and made sure the handcuffs were secure around Casey's wrist. Casey knew her wife was thinking about the time, years ago, when she had somehow managed to loosen the cuffs when Olivia wasn't in the room (though if someone were to ask her how she did it, she would have no idea). "You know you're a bad girl," the older woman said as her fingertips traveled across Casey's flat stomach. "Bad girls deserve to be punished. Right?"

"Yes, Olivia," Casey murmured as a shiver of excitement ran through her body in response to Olivia's touch. It felt...electrifying.

"If you recount your crimes, I may consider having leniency on you. But that depends on what you admit to having done."

Casey sighed, biting her own bottom lip thoughtfully. "I assaulted a police officer, I evaded arrest, and I also seduced said cop."

"And?" Olivia prodded.

"And I obstructed justice by leaving a false trail."

Olivia smiled. She seemed satisfied with the answers Casey had given her. "Well, I was thinking about giving you leniency. That is, until you admitted to having seduced an officer. That is a very naughty crime. Very naughty, indeed." The brunette reached for the lamp next to the bed and dimmed the lights. "I sentence you to an entire night in my custody. If you behave, I'll let you go. If not, well, we will have this discussion again then, won't we?"

"Yes, Olivia," Casey murmured through partially gritted teeth. God, the older woman really knew how to drive her insane at times.

Olivia smiled and kissed her passionately, forcing her tongue past her lips and into her mouth. As Casey moaned softly, instantly arching against her, Olivia pinned her against the bed and slowly inserted the toy into her. Casey broke the kiss, letting out a little whimper of surprise. Olivia bit her. "Behave yourself," she warned. Having finished speaking, she kissed the younger woman again, more forcefully this time. Her hands rested on Casey's wrists, which Casey found to be quite unnecessary, seeing as how she was already handcuffed. Meanwhile, the brunette's body had her pinned to the bed.

"Olivia?" Casey asked quietly, looking into her wife's beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

"Yes?" Olivia responded.

"Are you mad at me?"

Olivia's brow knitted in confusion. "No, baby, I'm not mad. I thought you said you like it when I dominate you in the bedroom."

"I do," Casey replied quietly. "But you seem mad tonight."

Olivia smiled softly. "I'm not mad, sweetie. Quite the contrary, actually. I'm happy as a clam."

Casey giggled. Olivia's words made her feel much better, because she knew that the only time Olivia used cliches was when she was either super drunk or super horny. "Okay, then. Carry on."

"Oh I have your permission now, do I?" Olivia asked, laughing. "You're silly, baby," she said as she pressed her lips to Casey's once more. She began to move the huge toy inside of her, rocking her hips in a rhythmic motion.

Casey felt like she was in heaven. She was all alone with the woman she loved in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and she was receiving undivided attention. That, combined with the feel of the toy inside of her, was an incredible feeling. They quickly slipped into their own special rhythm. The room was almost silent, except for Casey's quiet moans of pleasure and Olivia's low panting. It wasn't long before Olivia had penetrated Casey with the entire toy, and her thrusts gradually became harder and faster. The closer Casey got to her breaking point, the louder her moans grew, and the more she fought against the handcuffs. She wished desperately that she could tug on Olivia's hair, but that was clearly impossible tonight. "Olivia," she whimpered, meeting Olivia's gaze.

Olivia nodded, understanding the cue that the redhead was trying to give her. She moved her hands to Casey's hips and continued to move inside of her, this time harder and faster, until Casey cried out her name and succumbed to an extremely powerful orgasm. Whimpers became moans, and moans became screams, until she was screaming louder than she ever had before. Olivia continued her thrusts, gradually slowing down, and, when Casey had collapsed beneath her, she slowed and finally withdrew from inside her. Seeing Casey close her eyes, Olivia brushed a stray red curl out of her wife's face. "Case, honey, if the cops show up tonight, I'm blaming you."

"It's your fault," Casey murmured breathlessly, her heart beating so rapidly that she wondered if it was trying to escape her chest. "When they ask what was going on in here, I'll tell them my wife is very talented at using giant strap ons."

Olivia rolled her eyes, laying down next to her. "Nine inches isn't exactly giant, sweetie."

"Oh no, not at all. It's just three quarters of a ruler, but nope, that's not huge at all."

"But you're able to take every inch," Olivia said, propping up on her side and gazing into Casey's emerald eyes.

Casey smiled softly. "I guess I got used to it..maybe. I don't know, babe, I don't know how stuff like that works. But I do know that I never was able to handle that much until being with you, so maybe it is possible to work up a tolerance or something like that."

"Well, either way, I love you more than anything in the world." Olivia kissed her gently on the lips. "You're my princess, my baby, and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I'll never stop loving you."

Casey moved closer to the older woman and laid her head on her chest. "And you are my queen, my sexy cop wife, and the woman I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I'll never leave your side again, I promise."

"I hope not," Olivia murmured, kissing the top of Casey's head. "I love you. Never forget that."

"I love you too," Casey murmured, already falling asleep. Having gotten too comfortable in Olivia's arms, she hadn't even noticed that Olivia was still wearing the strap on.


	25. Chapter 25

_VERY IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey everyone. I hope you've enjoyed the last few chapters, and the story as a whole. For the next couple of weeks I will do my best to update every day but I have to get ready for some personal things. That being the case, worst case scenario, I should be able to update every other day at the latest. I will try. I'll share more information soon. Also, have you checked out "Stay With Me", my new fic? If not, well, I'd love to know what you think. It should be above this one on my profile...or immediately below. Warning: It's quite different from my normal storylines. Anyway, as always, thanks for reading. Please review. Enjoy this and "Stay With Me"._

Casey awoke early the next morning to bright sunlight streaming through the window and onto her body. She blinked several times and turned away from the light, ready to snuggle in Olivia's arms and go back to sleep. However, she quickly realized that Olivia wasn't there. Casey was about to get out of bed, until the note on Olivia's pillow caught her eye. The redhead yawned and picked it up, holding it up to the light. In Olivia's spiky handwriting, on yellow paper torn from a legal pad, the note read: "Good morning, baby. I hope you slept well. I am writing this at 6:30. I'm not sure what time you will be waking up, so just in case I'm not back, I decided to write you a note. You look so cute while you sleep, that I couldn't bear to wake you. Anyway, I know you are wondering where I am by now. Don't worry. You will find out when I get back. I love you. Get some rest. Love always, Olivia."

Casey read the note three times, allowing Olivia's words to sink in. On the one hand, it was very romantic to wake up to a loving note first thing in the morning. But on the other hand, where had the older woman gone and why was she being so cryptic? Was this mysterious surprise good or bad? Was the letter just a smokescreen? Casey tried to ignore that last question that ran through her mind. She knew Olivia would never do that to her. Folding the note into equal halves, Casey slid it under her pillow and carefully stood up from the bed.

She reached for her phone, which was charging on the nightstand next to the bed. Opening a new text message, she entered Olivia's name in the receiver box and quickly composed her message. "I got your note. Where are you, babe? Did something bad happen? Sorry if I sound paranoid. I love you." But as her thumb hovered over the send button, she realized it would be better to wait and find out what was going on: if it was a good surprise, it would make it extra exciting, and if it was bad, then she would rather delay the news. Either way, it seemed like the logical choice to hit end and place her phone back next to the lamp, which she did.

Laying down on her back, Casey closed her eyes and sighed happily, allowing her body to melt into the feel of the comfortable silk sheets. She had just begun to drift back to sleep when the door opened and closed, and she heard Olivia's voice say "Hey, honey."

Casey opened her eyes and smiled when she saw her wife. "Hey, babe," she replied. Noticing the bag in Olivia's hand, she sat up in bed and asked "What's in there?"

Olivia smiled. "I've always wanted to go to a luau, and I know you have too. I found out that there is one on the beach tonight, so I thought myself and my gorgeous wife could attend."

Casey giggled. "That sounds wonderful, but you still haven't answered my question."

"I'm getting there," Olivia answered. She laid the bag on the bed and unzipped it. "I bought you a beautiful dress for it. It will drive all the men crazy, I know, but it will also turn me on exponentially. Look in the bag."

Casey did as she was told. She lifted the mass of pink fabric from its confines and held it up, gasping in awe. "Oh my god, it's beautiful," she murmured. The halter dress was a pale pink, with a hem that would just graze her mid thigh and a sparkling bodice. "Wow," she whispered. "I love it."

"There's more." Olivia reached into a second bag that Casey had not previously realized was there. She took out a pair of stiletto heels that matched the dress perfectly, and a diamond necklace, followed by a tiara. "For my princess," she said as she placed the tiara atop Casey's head.

Casey let out a little purr of contentment and pulled the older woman in for a passionate kiss. "I love everything, Olivia," she said. "But what are you wearing? Please don't say pants and a shirt."

Olivia chuckled. "No, baby, I decided to wear a dress tonight, just for you." She exited the room for a moment and retrieved carrying two more bags. She laid the bigger one on the bed and unzipped it, pulling out a black long sleeved dress that would graze her knees and an elegant pair of black flats. "What do you think?"

"Love it," Casey responded, grinning. "I don't suppose those flats are magically heels?" she asked hopefully.

Olivia shook her head. "I am already putting a dress on for you. I'll be damned if I willingly add heels to the torture devices."

Casey giggled. "Okay, okay, I was just asking." As Olivia sat down on the bed, Casey laid her head on her shoulder. "I love you," she murmured.

"I love you too," Olivia whispered back, kissing her gently and wrapping her arms around the younger woman's shoulder. "We have a few hours to kill. The party starts at eight tonight and it is just now ten AM. What do you want to do?"

Casey pushed her onto her back and pounced on her. "I want to make love to my detective, of course," she replied, a devilish grin forming as she spoke.


	26. Chapter 26

Casey grinned at Olivia from her position atop the beautiful detective. "You're so beautiful," she murmured, leaning down and kissing Olivia passionately on the lips. "I can't believe I am your wife.

"Believe it, sweetheart. You will be mine for all eternity," Olivia murmured back, placing one hand on the back of Casey's head and pulling the redhead down on top of her, claiming her lips again in a forceful kiss. "You know what I want," the brunette whispered in Casey's ear. "You know what you need to do to me, don't you?"

Casey whimpered softly as Olivia pulled her hair. But a few seconds later, she snapped out of it and bit into Olivia's neck as hard as she could. She paused for a moment to revel in the groan the older woman let out and smirked. Moving down, she took Olivia's right breast into her mouth and sucked on the nipple until the twirling of her tongue turned it rock hard; then, she repeated the process on the other breast. The moans Olivia was making were a major turn on for Casey, who was used to being the submissive one, the one who was dominated. Normally, **she** was the one who fought back screams of pleasure.

But now was a different story, at least for the moment. Casey wanted to show Olivia how much she loved her and how much she loved being her wife. This was her way of doing that. She felt Olivia's hands on her shoulders and smiled, taking a moment to gaze into the beautiful chocolate brown eyes beneath her. "I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too," came Olivia's husky reply.

Casey smiled and kissed her passionately again, her hand moving between her wife's legs. Her thumb circled Olivia's clit for several moments, but the growl that the detective let out told her this was not going to last long. She giggled as Olivia spread her legs further apart; it was an odd sight, seeing a cop like that. But at the same time, it was so incredibly hot, and Casey knew she couldn't resist. She positioned herself at the foot of the bed and placed gentle kisses on each of Olivia's inner thighs. Purring softly, Casey began to suck gently on her wife's clit, her tongue moving in tiny circles, alternating between clockwise and counterclockwise. At the same time, she entered Olivia with two fingers, letting out a moan of her own when she heard the older woman's sharp inhale. "God, Casey," Olivia growled, her voice the husky whisper it always reached when she was climbing closer and closer to her orgasm.

"Someone gets keyed up easily," Casey whispered, her lips barely moving away from their target.

"Casey," Olivia murmured, digging her nails into the redhead's ivory skin.

In response, Casey bit softly into her wife's clit, then resumed sucking on it. The morning was extremely peaceful. She felt very relaxed, and knew that part of it was the fact that she did not have to worry about Olivia's phone ringing to call her into work. It was just them, all alone as the happy couple they were, enjoying a vacation from the city, and, most of all, from the stress of work. The alone time with the woman she loved was what excited Casey most, because it meant she would get undivided attention for the duration, with nobody to disturb them.

She kept up a steady pace with her fingers inside of Olivia, and as she sucked the brunette's swollen clit faster and harder, she added a third finger. She knew how close Olivia was getting. Below her, the older woman was panting and moaning, and Casey knew she was fighting screams back; at home, she was so loud that sometimes Casey would joke she needed earplugs just to have sex with her. Feeling Olivia's nails in her sensitive skin, Casey began to alternate between biting, sucking, and licking her clit, while penetrating her as deeply as she could. As she bit down, Olivia lost it, succumbing to a powerful orgasm. Casey whimpered as she felt her wife's orgasm crest into her mouth. She swallowed as Olivia collapsed on the bed.

"Damn, baby," Olivia murmured, turning her head and looking into Casey's beautiful emerald eyes.

Casey grinned and sucked on her finger. As she did so, she let out a satisfied purr. She watched Olivia's eyes widen as she watched her, and leaned over to kiss her. "You're not the only one who knows how to drive your wife crazy," the redhead murmured as she curled up at Olivia's side.

"No kidding," Olivia replied, her chest heaving through a deep sigh as she slowly regained her breath. "That was incredible, Casey."

Casey blushed deeply, her cheeks turning red enough to rival her hair color. "I learned from the best," she answered quietly. "Everything I know about being with a woman, I learned from my beautiful detective."

Olivia smiled and kissed her. "I don't know how I was ever happy without you in my life," she responded, wrapping her arms around Casey's body and holding her tightly.

"I feel the same way," Casey murmured, laying her head on her wife's chest. It didn't escape her notice that Olivia's nipples were still quite hard. "I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. I fell for you hard and fast, and I just want you to know that nobody has ever made me feel as special or as loved as you do. I will be with you for as long as you want me."

"Then guess what? You're stuck with me forever, sweetie," Olivia said, kissing the top of Casey's head affectionately. "You're a perfect wife to me and a perfect mother to our daughters. Now, let's lay here for a little while, relax, and maybe eat something. Then we are going to get ready for the luau. Be prepared, baby. It's going to be a long night."


	27. Chapter 27

Casey fell asleep shortly after she and Olivia ordered their lunch and ate it in bed together. She had been feeling very sleepy lately, but she had merely been blaming it on how late she had been staying up with Olivia lately. She had to take advantage of the opportunity though, since Olivia was often gone before she woke up and came home after she had already gone to bed, which did not leave a whole lot of time for them to spend as a couple, save those few precious hours they had together on weekends (when Olivia wasn't called in).

She snuggled closer to Olivia in her sleep, purring contentedly. She relaxed easily when she felt her wife's arm around her and the kiss the detective placed on her head. She had just started to enjoy her current fantasy when Olivia's phone rang, loudly enough to make Casey bolt into a sitting position, worried. When she realized what had caused the ruckus, she collapsed against the pillows once more. Rubbing her eyes, she sleepily asked "Damn, babe, do you think you have that thing loud enough?"

"Sorry," Olivia apologized, checking the caller ID. She shot Casey an apologetic look and answered it, with her trademark one word response. "Benson."

Casey sighed, closing her eyes as she listened to the conversation. She thought they were supposed to be on vacation as a couple and away from work, but this was blowing that theory out of the water. But she held back on voicing her feelings, because she didn't want to spark an argument. So, instead, she bit her tongue and simply listened. Olivia seemed to be getting frustrated, if her harsh tone was any indication.

"I told him that I am on vacation. I can't exactly travel all the way to Manhattan right now just because he doesn't know how to handle a victim." The detective sighed as she listened to the person on the other end. Casey had her theory as to who was calling, a theory that was confirmed when Olivia said "Amanda, I know that if she doesn't testify he will go free, but-" She paused to listen again. "No, no, I understand. I'll figure something out." Almost immediately after finishing her sentence, Olivia hung up and tossed her phone lightly onto the nightstand, where it landed with a clatter. She turned to Casey. "Case-"

"Don't," Casey said, sitting up once more. "I get it. Your job needs you." She knew she was being a bit unfair, since she had known since day one that there would be times when she couldn't have Olivia all to herself. But this was different. They were supposed to be enjoying a romantic vacation, and, as had happened too many times, the magical phone call interrupted everything. Casey swung her legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, holding the sheets around her naked body.

Olivia sighed deeply. "Casey, honey, please come back to bed."

Casey turned to look at her. "I'm not in the mood," she replied quietly. "Besides, when do they need you by?"

Olivia hesitated, which told Casey that she was debating how best to break the news. "Tomorrow morning," she answered.

"Then I guess we had better start packing," Casey answered coldly. She didn't mean for her voice to be so harsh. She understood that this was extremely important, but at the same time, she felt let down. However, she knew that if a victim needed help, it wouldn't be fair to keep Olivia away, no matter how badly she wanted her wife.

While she was thinking, Olivia had snuck up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, holding her tightly as she placed gentle kisses along the redhead's neck. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," Casey responded softly, and she knew in her heart that she meant it.

Olivia smiled softly, still holding her protectively. "You're still my princess."

"You're still my queen," Casey murmured, her own lips curling into a gentle smile. She turned around and kissed Olivia passionately. "We should pack, babe," she said. "I'm going to fold our clothes."

Olivia nodded, breaking away from the embrace. "I'll see if I can schedule a flight for sometime tonight. I promise I will make this up to you. I'm really sorry, honey. I know how excited you were for it to be just us, on a tiny island, away from the troubles of the world..."

"Okay, I get it," Casey said, rolling her eyes. "It will be fine, Olivia, don't worry about it. Just remember that you owe me, and once you pay up, only then will I forgive you," she added with a sly smirk.

"Keep that up and we will never leave this hotel room," Olivia warned her, her chocolate brown eyes flickering with lust.

Casey smiled softly. "I love you," she replied.

"Then come here and let me say sorry the proper way," Olivia answered.

Casey sighed and walked over to the bed. As Olivia pulled her down on top of her, kissing her passionately, Casey moaned quietly. She knew it would be so easy to get caught up in the moment. But as Olivia rolled over and pinned her to the bed, deepening the kiss, Casey shook her head. "We can't. There's...so much to...do," she murmured, her logical side coming into sharp conflict with her hormones.

"Casey," Olivia whispered, brushing her fingertips across Casey's bare thighs.

Casey moaned again, feeling the goosebumps rise on her skin. "We can't," she repeated, though less convincingly this time. God. Why did Olivia have such a drastic effect on her?

Olivia sighed, pulling back. "I know," she murmured, placing one final kiss on Casey's lips. She stood up from the bed and helped Casey do the same. "You knew what you were getting into when you married a cop," she murmured.

"I know," Casey said.

"How do you feel about it now?" Olivia asked.

Casey smiled. "I feel the same as I always have, Olivia," she answered. "I love you, and as much as I hate losing our special time together quite frequently, well, it's worth it to be your wife. And I love you."

"I'm glad," Olivia replied, kissing her once more. "How about you go take a shower and I'll browse for plane tickets. If I finish early, I may just pop in for a visit."

Casey rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh no, the Big Bad Detective is out to get me. I guess I better hide," she added with a playful smirk. Winking, she headed into the bathroom and closed the door as Olivia sat down on the bed with her laptop. It was still going to be a long night, just not for the reasons either woman had expected.


	28. Chapter 28

_Author's note: I am SO sorry for the long update break. Oh my gosh, it's been almost a month, hasn't it? I feel horrible, I promise I do. I have been dealing with a cold and lack of mojo and I figured if I couldn't do an awesome chapter, why do one at all? But I'm here now, I promise. This chapter is two years in the future, so yes, Serena and Stephanie are two years old. Casey and Olivia have been fighting over every little thing for the last month, and screaming at each other constantly. Use this a a sort of background information, keeping it in mind as you read this. As always, thank you for reading and please review. _

Casey sighed as she tossed the salad. She was running on four hours of sleep in two days, which had affected her mood and even her work. And it was all brought on by stress. For over a month, she and Olivia had done nothing but argue and yell at each other, and for reasons that did not seem logical when they thought back on it. They would make up in the morning, but by nighttime again, they were usually fighting again.

Casey had been sleeping in the guest room, refusing to be anywhere near her wife. That was especially since the last week's worth of fights had been accompanied by the name calling. So far, Olivia had called Casey a bitch, a pyscho, a liar, and a whore, and those were the most tame of the bunch. Casey was getting frustrated with it, because the older woman had been cranky for weeks, and she had no idea what she had done wrong. However, in Olivia's eyes, it seemed to be that she did _everything_ wrong.

It had started when Olivia went undercover again, this time closer to home, in Manhattan at an insurance agency. Since then, she had been extremely irritable, and flew off the handle at the tiniest things, like the day Casey forgot to prepare a pot of coffee as soon as she got home. Then there was the fact that Olivia had blatantly flirted with another woman, and even called her things that Casey had never been called. But when Casey voiced her feelings of betrayal and hurt, Olivia had screamed at her for being so jealous and accused her of being controlling.

Ever since then, they had fought above everything, and to make things even worse, she had overheard Olivia on the phone several days before, and it was not a process of rocket science that led Casey to the conclusion that her wife was still flirting with the other woman.

Casey pulled out of her memories when the bowl suddenly slipped off of the counter and fell to the floor, shattering into a million pieces. "Damn it!" the attorney explained, falling to her knees and carefully picking up the salad ingredients, tossing them into the trash. Just as she was about to get out the broom, she heard Olivia's voice.

"There goes dinner." Olivia sighed. "I'll order pizza."

Casey bit back the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes and tried to swallow the lump in her throat that was a symptom of crying. "If you yell at me one more time, I will walk out, and you will never hear from me again!"

"Well that's obviously what you want, so go ahead."

"NO IT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!" Casey cried, without meaning to yell. "You know what I want? I want the woman I married! I want to be able to cry without being made fun of, or better yet, I don't want to cry at all. I want my wife to love me enough and be happy enough with me to not hit on another woman. I don't know who she is, Olivia, and honestly, I don't know whether I would rather know or be ignorant. But what I do know is-"

"Casey-"

"DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" Casey sighed slamming the broom against the counter, too hurt to care as she watched it crash to the floor with a resounding thud. "I get it, Olivia. You're not happy anymore. If you loved me you would listen to how I feel. But that's right...those are the feelings of a psycho." Shaking her head, she slowly pulled her ring off of her finger and pushed it into Olivia's hand.

Olivia sighed deeply. "Casey, it's not what you think. I'm not with anyone but you, nor do I want anyone but you. You have to believe that! I love you and only you, and you need to understand that." She held the ring out. "Will you please put this back on? For me?"

"I'm tired of fighting, Olivia. You have said so many hurtful things and accused me of so many hurtful things lately that I...I don't even know what to think, much less say to you. Why can't you understand that it is out of love that I am hurt by your flirting? I don't care what it means. All I know is that I have to hear _my_ wife call someone baby and darling, someone that is definitely not me. And as for being psychotic, I can assure you I am perfectly normal, thank you." Casey shook her head, the tears welling in her eyes. "And the worst part is, it is obvious that you don't want to hear me. I have to go. I need time to think."

"You always do this to me. You try to guilt me into doing what you want by making me feel bad for every damn thing I say to you. You're greedy, Casey. All you want is all of my time. You're draining me, and I know your goal is to kill me, and just know that it is working. You stress me out, you make me sick, and I'm tired of it. It's all about you, and that is going to stop, or else you will lose me and I will give my love to someone who deserves it, because I-" Olivia stopped talking when she noticed that Casey was not even looking at her. Instead, she was looking at the knife she held in her right hand, the light glinting off of the blade. "Casey, put it down," Olivia ordered. Casey ignored her. "Casey, PUT IT DOWN," she shouted.

"I'm sorry I don't deserve your love," Casey murmured. "I'll save you from the sickness I cause." And before Olivia could react, she had raised the knife.


	29. Chapter 29

Casey looked into Olivia's eyes, the knife still in her hand. "I have loved you since the day we met, and I thought you loved me too, even though we were apart for four years. I gave you my soul and my body, and still it's not good enough for you. On the bright side, I finally figured out who you have been talking to so secretively. It's Michelle isn't it? Your ex girlfriend?"

"Casey, please-"

"Just answer me! Please! I have a right to know who else occupies my wife's heart."

Olivia sighed deeply. "Yes, it's Michelle," she admitted. "But you have no reason to be jealous, Casey, because you know I love you more than anything, and that you will always be my number one. We haven't done anything, I promise you. Please believe me, baby. We have only talked."

"Does she know about me?"

"Yes, and she thinks the reason I have been so stressed lately is because of you, and she told me that you are toxic to my health."

Casey's emerald eyes narrowed in anger, while inside her heart felt as if it had just experienced the shattering blow of a hammer. "How can she possibly know what has been stressing you out so much?" she asked. "I don't even know, and I'm your wife...or, at least, I thought I was."

"Work has been getting to me, okay?" Olivia replied. "Working sixty hours a week is draining me, Casey, slowly but surely. And then I come home to your insecurities and your paranoid jealousy and I wonder if I should even say anything to you, because I never know the right thing to say. It seemed like a stroke of luck when Michelle came back, and I thought maybe it would help to vent to an outside party."

Casey sighed. "Okay first of all, she's not an outside party, she's your ex girlfriend, and I...I understand that you have had a lot going on and that you feel overworked and under the weather, but it really hurts that you didn't talk to me first about these things. Nobody cares more about you than I do, don't you get that? I wish we could talk the way we used to." She sighed and set the knife on the counter. "I'm tired of fighting, Olivia. This has gone on for weeks, and I just want it to end. I want you to know that whenever you feel overwrought and stressed, you will always have your wife to talk to." She glanced at the knife and immediately felt ridiculous for overreacting so badly. She had been thinking with her broken heart and not her brain, which almost led to her not existing at all anymore. "We need to talk." That was the understatement of the century, Casey thought.

"Yes we do," Olivia answered, sidestepping her and picking up the knife, before walking over to the silverware drawer and setting the knife in its section. She turned around and looked at Casey. "We have already shared how we feel," she began. "Or at least, we've shared how we feel about the fighting. But something else is bugging you, I can see it in your eyes. Casey, what is it that is hurting you so much?"

Casey shrugged, debating how to go about answering the question honestly, while at the same time avoiding making the older woman angry all over again. "It's the thing with Michelle," she answered truthfully, looking into her wife's eyes. "So many things hurt about it. You never told me she was back, and that hurts because it makes me feel as if you wanted to hide it from me, and then I have to wonder why that would be. Then there's the fact that you canceled our date last week, and I came home from work, only to find you on the phone with her, and the fact that our special time had to be lost so you could spend time with her, well, that hurt more than you could ever know. And, finally, there's the fact that I've heard you calling her pet names such as baby, darling, and sweetie, and unless I have faulty hearing, I heard you the other night tell you love her." Casey sighed, sitting on the counter top. "But you know what hurts more than any of that?" she asked. "Whenever I try to tell you about these feelings, you accuse me of spying and eavesdropping. I don't, okay? I can be standing here in the kitchen and you in our bedroom two floors up and I still hear you, Olivia. If I were spying I would have my ear pressed against the bedroom door."

"Babe, I understand where you are coming from, but those nicknames are only said in a joking way. They don't carry any meaning behind them, the way they do when I use them on you." Olivia walked over to Casey and took the younger woman's hands in hers, gazing into her emerald eyes. "I know you are not spying, and I'm sorry for ever accusing you of that. I'm sorry for everything I have said over the course of the last several weeks that hurt you, because by hurting you, I hurt myself. I know this thing with Michelle is bothering you, but know one thing: I loved her at one time, but I have no feelings left for her now. All of my love is for you, baby."

Casey nodded, her gaze falling to the floor. "Please just stop flirting with her, whether it's in a joking way or not. I can't take it. I can't. I'm not being jealous...well, I suppose I sort of am, but not in a possessive way okay? I just want to be the only woman in my wife's heart. I don't care if you are friends with her, but this constant talking and giving up our dates for that really hurts, and all I ask of you is that you stop doing that."

Olivia smiled softly. "I promise." She brushed a stray red curl out of Casey's emerald eyes. "I love you," she murmured, pressing her lips to the young attorney's in a kiss filled with pure love, lust, and desire.

"I love you," Casey whispered as their lips met. She wrapped her arms around her wife's neck and felt Olivia's arms around her waist as their kiss deepened, lasting for several moments before they were interrupted.

"Ewwwww...Gross!"

Casey looked up, smiling when she saw her daughters standing in the kitchen entrance, covering their eyes. She knew it was Serena who had made the comment. "Girls, why don't you go watch cartoons in the living room? Dinner will be ready soon."

"Okay, Mommy," Serena said as she and Stephanie turned and ran into the living room. Moments later Casey and Olivia heard the sound of cartoonish laughter.

Casey shook her head, smiling. "Those two are so active sometimes," she said, looking into her wife's eyes. "They take after you."

"They have my personality and their mother's intelligence." As Casey blushed deeply at the compliment, Olivia added "Now order dinner, baby. I'm starving."


	30. Chapter 30

_Author's note: Did last night's episode make anyone else sick to their stomach? The good news is, this prick is only around for one more episode...and then he is gone. Hopefully forever. Anyway, I am trying to balance this story, as well as Stay With Me, and give them equal attention. Earlier today, an idea came to me. What if Olivia has to go undercover for a year? During that time, can she remain faithful to Casey? Or will her eyes wander to someone else? Wait and see. I would like to know everyone's thoughts._

Casey was startled out of her thoughts by the piercing shriek of the doorbell. She gently tossed her hand towel onto the island in the center of the kitchen and reached for her credit card, which she had placed next to her coffee mug. Smiling, she headed into the living room and looked through the peephole to make sure it was safe, before unlocking the chain and opening the door. She handed the red clothed delivery man her credit card and smiled softly.

"One carton of beef chow mein, one of chicken, plus fortune cookies, pot stickers, and two kinds of egg rolls," the delivery man announced, handing Casey the food. Or shoved it at her...she wondered if she was being too sensitive.

"Thank you, sir," Casey answered, signing for their dinner. She smiled softly as he handed her the credit card. "Have a nice evening," Casey said. All she got in return was a nod of the head before the man turned and walked away. Casey shook her head, brushing it off. Her mother would have called and complained about poor customer service. But, much to Casey's relief, her mother was not there at the moment to do so, nor did she find the idea very appealing.

Casey carefully carried dinner into the bedroom, knowing her wife was waiting for her. She smile when she noticed Olivia propped up in bed, arranging a single rose in a vase. "Hey, sweetie," Olivia said, pausing in her efforts to look up at the beautiful redhead. Her gaze fell upon the food in Casey's arms, and she smirked, licking her lips seductively. "Casey, I know I said I was starving, but I'm not sure I can eat all of this, and that's coming from me."

Casey rolled her eyes playfully, sitting down on her side of the bed and placing their dinner between them. "Okay, first, you're not eating it alone. You have my help. And second, your bottomless pit will be growling again shortly. Just give it, oh I don't know...ten minutes?" she asked, grinning playfully.

"Keep that up and I may just have to punish you," Olivia answered, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on the younger woman's lips. She reached for a pair of chopsticks and opened her chow mein. "Oh, this is the chicken," Olivia remarked, handing it to Casey, adding "That's yours." She opened the other carton and sighed, breathing in the delicious aroma of their mini Chinese feast. "Casey, I need to talk to you."

Casey amused in her attempt to open her own chopsticks. "Okay, so talk," she said, using her teeth to open the wrapper. Meanwhile, her brain quickly switched to pessimistic mode, rapidly thinking of all of the horrible things Olivia could possibly tell her. But no amount of preparation could have ever prepared her for what her wife announced.

"Honey, I talked to Nick earlier, and one of our cases has become national, because the rapist recently struck in California. Cragen wants us to go undercover in Orange County. I agreed. I hope you're not mad at me, because I promise I'll make it up to you in every possible way."

"Olivia, I don't mind if you have to go undercover for a few weeks. I mean, sure, I'll miss you and I'll pine for you and do everything the cheesy Shakespeare heroines do, but at the same time, I knew what I was getting into when I married a cop, and I truly understand."

Olivia sighed, stabbing her dinner with her chopsticks and setting the carton on the tray. "There's more, Casey. This time, I won't be back for at least a year."

It took several moments for the words to sink in. Once they did, Casey could only manage to turn her head enough to glare into her wife's chocolate brown eyes. "Did you just say you're going to be gone for an entire _year?_" she demanded, hating how desperate she sounded. But at the same time, her not having her wife and the twins not having their other mother for over a year would be unbearable. Casey shook her head in disbelief and grabbed her chopsticks, shoving them into her noodles with considerably more force than was necessary."

"Casey, this creep has raped over twenty seven women, and those are just the ones we know about. Supposedly he owns a string of night clubs in Laguna Hills. But the problem is, he is our prime suspect, but we have nothing on him that definitively links him to these assaults except a series of witness accounts. What we do know is that he hires new cocktail waitresses at his clubs frequently, and to break them in, he rapes them, but the intervals of hiring vary from a few weeks to several months. Casey, I have to do this, if only to prevent other women from being hurt and to arrest the freak and drag his ass back to New York. The authorities over there already agreed to cooperate with us on this." Olivia reached for the younger woman's hands, taking them in hers and gazing into the redhead's emerald green eyes, which had darkened in frustration, and were now such a dark green that they could have been mistaken as black. "I know you're hurt, sweetie, but I will make it up to you and our daughters, I promise you that. I will be there when he strikes again, and when he does, I will arrest him and come home, however soon that may be." Olivia leaned forward and gently kissed Casey on the lips, sighing when she felt the attorney's resistance. "Casey-" she began.

Casey shook her head. "Olivia, I understand. I mean I do feel a bit frustrated by it, because you'll be gone for so long, but I know how important it is, and I will be fine, I promise." She sighed and laid her head on her wife's shoulder. "I'll miss you," she murmured.

"I'll miss you too," Olivia whispered, wrapping her arms around Casey and holding her in a loving embrace. "I love you," she added quietly, brushing a stray red curl out of Casey's eyes. "Promise you won't betray your dear old wife while she's off fighting crime?" she asked, a note of playfulness in her voice.

Casey giggled. "Yes, babe, but you're not old. You're only forty eight, but who's counting?" Her own voice had taken on a playful tone, despite her frustration at the fact that she would be losing her wife for a year. "Do you promise, too?" she asked suddenly, raising her head and gazing into the older woman's eyes.

Olivia nodded, kissing Casey's forehead. "Yes, I promise to be loyal to you above all others, until the end of time," she answered, still holding the young attorney protectively in her arms. "I love you with everything I have. There is not a single woman in this world who could ever measure up to that, Casey."

As Olivia spoke, Casey was reminded of the eerie irony of this entire situation: she had been in California after being censured, and their relationship had been stagnant for those three years, and now, Olivia, too, was going there. Casey hoped desperately that it didn't foreshadow anything about their relationship. Trying to take her mind off of everything, she picked up Olivia's chopsticks and fed her a bite of chow mein, smiling.

"Wow, baby, you're actually behaving. Are you feeling alright?" Olivia asked, placing her hand on Casey's forehead to check for a fever.

Casey giggled. "Yes, I'm fine, I just know how much you love it when I feed you," she replied, feeding her wife another bite. She continued to do so, taking a bite herself periodically, until, a half hour later, the empty cartons were placed on the nightstand and Casey and Olivia laid on their backs, holding hands on top of the covers. Casey turned her head to look at her wife. "Are you allowed to call, at least occasionally?" she asked hopefully, knowing it would lessen the blow.

Olivia sighed deeply. "I'll try, honey, but I can't set a regular time, because it will depend on where I am, what I'm doing, and who I'm with. I can't blow my cover by calling my wife."

"I know," Casey answered, her gaze falling as she focused on the pattern of their comforter, barely listening to Olivia's reply to her response.

"I will do everything in my power to call every night, or, worst case scenario, at least once a week."

Casey nodded. "When do you have to leave?" Part of her already knew the answer, deep down, but it still felt like a knife in her heart when she heard it.

"Tomorrow morning," Olivia replied quietly.

"Yeah." Casey mumbled. "Okay." She began to get out of bed, but felt Olivia's strong arms around her once more. "Olivia-"

"I promised to make it up to you, Case. Let me start now," Olivia replied firmly, pushing the younger woman onto her back and straddling her, looking into the redhead's eyes, which had returned to their natural emeralds.

Casey sighed, looking up into the eyes of the woman she loved more than life itself. "Fine," she murmured. "But this doesn't let you off the hook completely...it's just one small step towards making this up to me. But since I'm not going to see my wife for a year or more, and all we'll have is phone sex, if we're lucky, let's enjoy this last night together."

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry," she whispered, placing a trail of kisses up Casey's neck until she reached the younger woman's lips. The moment their lips met, Casey whimpered, immediately wrapping her arms around her wife's neck. "What do you want tonight, baby?" Olivia whispered, her breathing already heavy.

"Everything," Casey answered in a voice quiet enough to be mistaken for a breath.

Olivia kissed her harder, moving her hand lower. She moaned when her fingers brushed across Casey's clit, which was already hard and more than ready. Olivia growled softly, quickly entering her with three fingers. Hearing Casey gasp in pleasure, Olivia penetrated her deeply, kissing her passionately as she forced her tongue into Casey's mouth.

Feeling her wife penetrate her, Casey whimpered, squirming a little on the bed as she tugged on the sheets. She arched her body, too worked up to regret how quickly she had gotten worked up. "Olivia," she whimpered. "Take me...please..."

Without breaking her pace, Olivia moved her lips to Casey's left breast. She twirled her tongue around the already erect nipple and moaned softly as Casey squirmed again on the bed. Her fingers moved deeply inside of Casey, making the younger woman whimper and buck beneath her. Within the next few seconds, Casey was sent screaming into orgasm as she tugged hard on Olivia's hair and clawed at her with her free hand. It took several moments for her to calm down, and once she did, she collapsed onto the bed, panting heavily. Olivia kissed her and murmured "You're in for a long night, sweetheart."


	31. Chapter 31

"I look ridiculous," Olivia murmured, glowering at her reflection in the hotel room's full length mirror. She had squeezed into a black dress with a plunging neckline and a riding hem, and the stiletto heels on her feet were killing her. She wished desperately for a pair of slacks, a button down, and flat, practical shoes.

"You look great," came a voice behind her. "That dress really works."

Olivia turned around quickly. Having seen her partner approach her as she looked in the mirror, she knew who it was. "I don't look great," she snapped. "I look absolutely freaking horrible. This dress is riding up, and these shoes are making me feel tipsy and unbalanced because I don't know how to walk in the damn things." She turned back to her reflection, sighing deeply. How Casey wore stuff like this every day, all day long, and never ended up sore, or with a broken ankle, was beyond her.

"We need to go," Nick answered, glancing at the clock on the wall. "It's getting late."

"I know," Olivia sighed. She grabbed her purse and stood in front of her partner, whose appearance consisted of a black suit, white shirt, and matching shoes and a tie. Not that different from his every day appearance. "At least one of us doesn't have to humiliate ourselves," she growled, stalking past him, which was made rather difficult thanks to her footwear.

An hour later, she folded her arms across her chest, watching what had to be the two hundredth couple walk into the bar. She had been requested as assistant bouncer, while Nick was people watching inside. Olivia, still feeling ridiculous in her current clothing, was getting even more frustrated with the frigid weather, the stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes, and the uproarious laughter from people inside the club and out. She tried not to read too much into the fact that she had been placed on bouncer duty, but it was a bit disconcerting.

"Excuse me," Olivia called out suddenly as a young blonde breezed past her. She blocked the girls path, knowing that she couldn't be older than seventeen. "Can I see some ID please?" she requested. She sighed as the girl tried to move around her, and again she blocked her path. "Sweetie, if you don't have any ID, I can't let you in," Olivia said.

"It's in here somewhere," the girl answered, rummaging around in her purse as if there were something at the bottom that she was trying to retrieve. After several moments, she took out what appeared to be a normal driver's license and handed it to Olivia.

Olivia took it, examining it closely. Everything seemed to be a normal California license, from the picture to the way the information was presented. But the ID number was in a completely different format. And the age was definitely fake. Olivia looked up. "You realize this says you are thirty six," she said, her tone harsher than she meant it to be.

"It's not polite to ask a lady her age," the girl cried, clearly hoping that would somehow convince Olivia to let her in.

"And it's illegal to drink if you're under twenty one," Olivia said, pocketing the driver's license. "What's your name?"

The girl sighed, realizing there was no way out of this. "My name is Jaime."

"Jaime, I'm going to take you home. On the way, I want you to tell me what is going on, okay?" As Jaime nodded, Olivia lied to the other bouncer and told him she was going to go pick up some dinner. She was lucky, in that he had been focused on keeping one eye on the club and another on the street, and therefore hadn't heard a word she had said. She knew it would be detrimental to her cover if she announced she was taking an underage girl home, since bouncers normally threw someone out with no questions asked, not bothering to care what happened to them afterward.

Once in her rental car, Olivia had Jaime write down her address, and she typed the information into her phone's GPS. As she shifted the car into drive, Olivia asked Jaime to buckle her seat belt and said "So how old are you really, Jaime?"

"Sixteen," Jaime answered, looking out the window. "I'm sorry."

Olivia adjusted the rear view mirror and sighed deeply. "What were you thinking, coming to a bar? There are bad people out there, Jaime, men who get drunk and will take control and try to take advantage of you. You can't go to bars, especially not at this time of night. And even being in possession of a fake ID is a crime. You can go to jail for that."

"Are you going to turn me in?" Jaime asked, her voice full of worry and fear.

Olivia sighed, biting her bottom lip as she stopped at the red light. "No, Jaime, I'm not going to turn you in this time. Consider this your get out of jail free card, your first and only warning. But I do want to know one thing. How did you get the fake license in the first place?" she asked.

"I met this guy at my mother's restaurant," Jaime answered, beginning a story that lasted the next several minutes. "He was sexy and smart. He listened to me and talked to me like I was an adult, which is something I never get. He was so friendly, and he asked me out. He said I could be his girl, if I wanted, and that since I liked to dance, he could get me into his club. And I thought it sounded really cool, because how awesome would it be to go to school and show my ex boyfriend pictures of me on a pole? He'd be so jealous..." Jaime trailed off, sighing. "I agreed, and then he made me the fake license and told me to come on Friday night. I was super excited for it."

Olivia fought the urge to lecture the young girl about the dangers of sleeping with older men. "Jaime, did you sleep with this man?"

"I'm sixteen. It's not illegal," Jaime argued, suddenly sounding extremely defensive.

"No, it's not," Olivia conceded, remembering that California's age of consent was sixteen, an entire year younger than New York's. She pulled up in front of a white mansion and sighed, ignoring the cliché. It was very typical for a rich girl to seek affection elsewhere. Olivia turned around. "Jaime, promise me you'll protect yourself."

"Okay," Jaime answered, nodding. "But why do you care so much?"

Olivia sighed, quickly deciding it was safe to tell her. "Because it's my job to protect people like you. I'm a cop. Just promise me you'll be safe, alright?"

"I promise," Jaime said, smiling. "Thanks, Officer."

"Call me Olivia," Olivia answered, smiling brightly.


	32. Chapter 32

_Author's note: Hey guys. The good news is, I've recently had a sort of epiphany for this story, and have a multitude of ideas for it. Good, bad, or indifferent, well, I'll let you decide. Is there bad news? Well...sort of. But not about this story. I am not sure if I will be continuing Stay With Me, as it hasn't really been getting bites. If I get to twenty five chapters and it has less than fifty reviews, then I'll know it isn't good enough to keep. We'll just have to see. I do hope people like it though, and this one too. Now, enough with my babbling. As always, thanks for reading, and please review._

Casey propped herself up on top of the covers with her computer in her lap and a steaming cup of coffee on the nightstand. Olivia had been gone for a week, and she had still not heard so much as a hello from her. Sighing, Casey reached for her phone and hit speed dial two, waiting for Olivia's phone to ring. As had been happening for a week, her wife's voicemail played the usual message, which seemed to be permanently burned into Casey's memory: "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system..." As the monotonous voice continued to ramble the usual message, Casey tuned it out, focusing on the wheel her cursor had turned into as it loaded her email. Hearing the beep that signaled it was time to speak, Casey sighed and said "Olivia, every time I call, the phone gives me this same message. I don't know if you are ignoring my messages, or if you just can't return them, but I am getting more worried and more frustrated each time this happens. I miss you, and so do our daughters. They are asking when you are coming home...and I don't know what to tell them." Casey sighed again, realizing it would be any second now before the phone would inform her that she had run out of recording time. That thought in mind, she quickly wrapped the message up. "Anyway, we miss you, and we love you. Call me." Casey hit the end button and tossed her phone lightly onto the nightstand, turning her attention back to her computer.

It was the dangers of being with a cop, and if Casey were to be honest with herself, it was a bit strange that Olivia was able to keep her regular phone with her, since being undercover usually meant getting a phone for that only. At least, that was what had happened every time Olivia had gone undercover before. Casey shook her head, willing herself not to read too much into the situation. The last thing she needed was to allow her deepest worries to penetrate her mind, because she knew once that happened, those thoughts would never leave, and it would stress her out even more than she already was.

"Mommy?"

Casey looked up, smiling softly when she was Serena standing in the doorway. "Hey, sweetie, where's your sister?" she asked, patting the bed, indicating to her daughter that she could climb up next to her.

"Playing," Serena answered, walking over to the bed. She attempted several times, unsuccessfully, to climb up next to Casey, and finally just stood there, looking up at her mother.

"Playing?" Casey repeated, smiling. "Playing what?" she asked, gently lifting her daughter onto the bed.

Serena smiled, crawling to the head of the bed and laying down next to Casey. "Dollies," she replied, moving closer to her mother and indicating that she wanted to sit in Casey's lap.

Casey took the hint, moving her laptop and replacing it with her daughter. She brushed a stray red hair out of Serena's eyes and looked at her. "Why aren't you playing with your sister?" she questioned, hoping she wouldn't have to mediate another fight. Stephanie had broken four dolls this month alone, all of which were Serena's. She had definitely inherited Olivia's temper.

"I missed you, Mommy," Serena murmured, hugging Casey tightly.

Casey smiled down at her, returning her hug. Since they had been able to walk, Serena had been her shadow and Stephanie had been Olivia's. The girls had their moments when they were inseparable, but they also had moments where they had to be kept in separate rooms in different parts of the _house_. It was because of that strange bond that the twins had that she did not question Serena any further. "I missed you too, honey," she replied. "Would you like to watch a movie?" As Serena nodded, Casey grinned. "Okay, tell me which one and I'll put it in the DVD player."

"Princess!"

"Serena, we have a lot of princess movies," Casey answered, gently lifting the little girl off of her and onto the bed. "Which one?" she asked again, although she had a feeling she knew which one Serena was going to pick , even before the answer came.

Serena confirmed her suspicion by saying "Mermaid, Mommy, mermaid!"

"Okay. Stay here while I go check on your sister," Casey ordered. She gently got out of bed, knowing that Serena would listen to her. Stephanie was the defiant, headstrong one of the two. She made her way down the hallway and slowly opened the door that led into the bedroom the twins shared, and smiled when she noticed Stephanie sitting on the floor brushing the hair of one of her dolls. An array of tiny outfits surrounded her, and she quickly realized the doll was wearing a mini skirt, extremely high heels, and a low cut top. _Who even makes that sort of thing for a doll, of all things?_ Casey thought to herself, shaking her head. "Steph, we're going to watch _The Little Mermaid_. I know how much you love Sebastian. Want to come watch?"

She didn't have to ask twice. The question was barely out of her mouth before Serena had bolted to her feet and was already half out the door. "What, no hug for me?" Casey joked. She smiled as Stephanie hurried back in and hugged her tightly, then rushed out again. Casey watched her, briefly thinking about how the twins had been walking since they were ten months old, and they had been difficult to keep up with since just past their first birthday. Casey turned the light off in the bedroom and followed her daughter out. She had a long night ahead of her.

Nearly two hours later, as the end credits of the movie rolled on the screen, Casey sighed softly. She had planned on typing up her opening and closing arguments for a trial she had in a couple of weeks, but that plan had quickly backfired. Hitting the eject button on the DVD remote, Casey looked to either side of her. Serena was fast asleep at her left, Stephanie at her right. Both of them were cuddled so closely to her that Casey knew if she even attempted to get out of bed, it would wake them up. So she hit the power buttons on the DVD player and on the TV, making a mental note to take the movie out later and put it away. For now, she rested her back against the headboard of the bed and sighed, allowing her mind to wander to thoughts of work, her children, and the stages her relationship with Olivia had progressed through over the last several years. So far, the best test of their love had been when Casey moved to California, unable to face the woman she loved or their coworkers, or even the city itself, and then come back hoping for a rekindling of their feelings. Those thoughts weighing on her mind, Casey yawned, and fell asleep a few minutes later.

Her phone blared suddenly, waking her. Yawning, she fumbled for it, her eyes still shut. "Hello," she answered quietly, without checking the caller ID. She knew she had to be quiet, even though the twins were heavy sleepers.

"Hey, sweetheart," Olivia's voice chirped from the other end.

"Hey," Casey murmured, her mind still half asleep, and therefore unable to muster up its normal excitement.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked. Casey could sense that her wife was worried.

Casey sighed softly. "I'm fine," she murmured. "I'm just sleepy is all." She checked the alarm clock and shook her head, noting that it was five minutes until two in the morning. She knew, in all likeliness, that Olivia, all the way in California, had merely forgotten about the three hour time difference. "Your inbox must have been full," Casey offered, her biting sarcasm hanging in the air like a wet blanket in the freezing weather. She knew she sounded bitter, but a week's accumulation of worry had placed her on edge.

"It was," Olivia admitted, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry, honey. My first night at the club, I found out they wanted me on bouncer duty, and that same night, I had to take an underage girl home. We couldn't charge the creep on more than supplying a fake ID. We are still attempting to smoke him on rape and attempted murder, but we haven't seen him, and so far, that girl was the only one we have run into that is under twenty one."

Casey nodded, slowly moving her free arm out from under Stephanie, who had been using it as a pillow for a good portion of her body. She winced at the tingling pain that shot through it, thanks to the fact that it was asleep.  
>"The rest of the week has been busy, regardless of that," Olivia continued, "and I haven't had enough free time to sit down and call you, or even turn my phone on and listen to my messages. I'm sorry. I hope you're not angry."<p>

"I'm not," Casey answered. It was only a half lie. "We miss you," she added, still whispering so she wouldn't wake the twins.

"I miss you, too," Olivia responded. "How are the twins?"

Casey smiled softly, contemplating how to answer. "Well, poor Stephanie is lost since she cannot follow you like a lost puppy dog. She and Serena haven't fought as much as usual lately, and when they do, they always apologize to each other. It seldom requires more than a time out. Tonight we watched _The Little Mermaid_, and then they fell asleep." Casey smiled, glancing at her sleeping daughters, who were both out like a light.

"And how are you?" Olivia asked.

Casey managed to switch her phone to her left ear without disturbing the bed too much. "I've been working a lot," she answered truthfully. "Some of the overtime has been by choice, but some of it has also been the fact that crime is definitely on the rise, and there aren't enough of us to prosecute every criminal out there. So far this week, I've arraigned six child molesters, three serial rapists, and two reproductive abusers. And those are just the ones that led to an indictment."

"Wow," Olivia answered, sighing again. "I miss you so much. I have to go, Case. Just know you're going to be in a lot of trouble when I get home."

"Can't wait," Casey answered as she managed a soft smile, though her wife couldn't see her.

"Give the girls my love."

"I will," Casey promised.

"Okay. I love you." Olivia blew a kiss, and then, without warning, the line went dead.

Casey shook her head, placing her phone on the nightstand once more. "I love you too," she murmured, checking the clock again. It had been a twenty minute conversation, but all the time in the world wouldn't have been enough. She couldn't wait for Olivia to come home. Being without the woman she loved was like a knife in her heart that could only be removed by Olivia's love for her.


	33. Chapter 33

Olivia stood outside the club, grateful that it was somewhat warmer tonight. She had been at this for several weeks, and she was already getting frustrated with it. Seeing all of the couples around her reminded her of how much she missed Casey, and that longing was only deepened by the fact that there was a special theme night tonight. It was love central, and everything was somehow love related, from the heart shaped ice cubes to the cheesy songs that the DJ played over and over, as if on a constant loop. Olivia sighed, watching the flow of horny lovers as they breezed past her and into the club itself.

"It must be sad to be all alone on a night like this," a voice said, startling Olivia out of her semi conscious thought processes. "I mean, I suppose I speak from experience, but I am trying to find someone who agrees."

Olivia looked up, noticing a beautiful blonde standing in front of her. The young woman wore a sky blue halter top, a black mini skirt that barely covered what it needed to, and thigh high boots with heels that had to be at least six inches high. Olivia thought the girl looked like a hooker, especially when she noticed the cheap velvet choker around her neck. "It's a night like any other," Olivia answered vaguely. "Maybe you can find someone inside, if you look hard enough."

"I'll keep that in mind," the girl said, stepping past her. She paused to whisper in Olivia's ear. "But I already see something I like."

"Good luck with that," Olivia answered, turning her back as the other girl walked into the club. The cheesy love songs started again from inside, only this time, instead of being reminded of her wife, Olivia's mind wandered to the visual of the girl in the sky blue halter, with the perfect chest, curves, and every other part of her body.

By the time the clock struck twelve, Olivia was in an awful mood. She had been subjected to watching at least a few dozen couples groping and teasing each other on the way inside, and the blaring music had given her a headache. It was time for her shift to end and the other bouncer's to start, and Olivia couldn't have been more relieved. She buttoned her coat and made her way to her rental car. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Olivia turned around quickly. "Who's there?" the detective demanded.

"Don't you remember me?"

Olivia sighed, recognizing the voice as the girl from earlier, the one who had entered the club hoping to find someone for the evening. "Are you following me?" Olivia asked, her voice sounding much harsher than she intended. This was, however, a bit ridiculous.

"You told me to find someone in the club that I wanted. I tried, but no matter how much I danced and tried to lure someone into my web, I couldn't get the sexy bouncer out of my head." The blonde leaned forward, and Olivia could tell, even by the dim light of the streetlamps, that she had blue eyes. "Don't you want me?" the girl purred. She reached for Olivia's hand and brought it to her breast, still looking into the older woman's chocolate brown eyes. "Do you like what you feel?"

Olivia knew it would be a major lie if she attempted to deny how firm the girl's breasts felt. "Yes," she answered, "but I need you to get off of me, before you discover what happens when you get on my bad side." Olivia pushed the blonde off her and tried to open the car door, but she found her attempts blocked. "Find someone else," she insisted.

"But you're lonely too. I can sense it! Everyone needs to get laid sometimes...especially by someone like me. I can take you to places you never even knew existed. I can show you things, and make you feel things. What are you afraid of?"

Olivia sighed deeply. "I'm not afraid of anything, but this isn't something I do, okay? If you want someone, go find someone in the club. I'm sure there are plenty of people in there that you have not met yet."

"But I want you," the girl whined, refusing to back down. "You're so beautiful and sophisticated. Your body is like...heaven..."

Against her better judgment, Olivia felt her nipples harden as the girl moved closer to her and kissed her. She began to wrap her arms around the younger woman, but caught herself, and pulled back. "I can't do this," she murmured, stepping away. "What is wrong with you? You don't even think to ask if someone is available, much less if they want to sleep with you? You may be irresistible to some people, but I'm sorry, I...I mean I think you're beautiful but..." Olivia was cut off by a sudden passionate kiss that pressed her up against her own car. That was definitely not something she would tolerate. In one swift move, she had reversed their positions, glaring at the young girl. She knew she couldn't arrest her and blow her cover..nor, for that matter, did that thought sound appealing at all. "What is your name?" she asked.

"Courtney. I'm twenty one, and yes, I'm a natural blonde."

"Courtney," Olivia repeated, contemplating the connotation behind the name. It did have a sort of sexy ring to it, and maybe, if she were to admit to herself, one night wouldn't hurt anything. She loved Casey with everything she had, but everyone needed something new from time to time. That thought in mind, Olivia pinned Courtney against the car, kissing her passionately. She reached for her phone and turned it off, ensuring that there would be no interruptions. "Do you have a car?" she asked, pulling back.

Courtney shook her head in the darkness. "No. I walked. Can we go to your place?"

Olivia sighed. "I have a hotel room, but yes. Just so we're clear though, this will only be for one night, and it means nothing more than what it is. Got it?" The detective was able to make out the silhouette of Courtney's body, and knew she was nodding. "Good. Get in the car."

Upon their arrival at the hotel room, Olivia checked the parking lot closely to make sure her partner was not back yet, and quickly led Courtney up to her room. She used her key card to unlock the door and closed it roughly behind her. Taking the younger woman by the hand, Olivia pulled her into the bedroom section of the room and pushed her onto the bed, then proceeded to remove every stitch of clothing each of them wore. She was amazed, but also not surprised, to see that Courtney was wearing a push up bra and thong panties, as well as sexy stockings under her boots.

Olivia pinned the younger woman to the bed, forcing her tongue deep into her mouth. She paused when she felt fingers in her hair, tugging on it insistently, and firmly. Olivia obliged the unasked request, and slowly pushed Courtney's legs apart. She pushed two long fingers into her, while her free hand squeezed each of Courtney's breasts, which she now knew to be natural D cups. It had been a long time since Olivia had been with anyone that big, since her wife was only a B cup. Olivia deepened the kiss more, pressing her lips harder against Courtney's.

"I want to come in your mouth," Courtney moaned, throwing her head back. "I want to moan for you...I want to scream...what's your name?"

Olivia broke the kiss enough to answer the question. "My name is Kristen," she murmured, remembering the alias she had been given. Hearing Courtney's request, she moved to the edge of the bed and placed one hand on each thigh, holding them firmly apart. Gently, she bit into Courtney's swollen clit, moaning as the younger woman bucked against her. She moved her tongue in tiny circles, and slipped into an alternating pattern of biting, licking, and sucking on Courtney's clit.

It only took a few more seconds for Courtney to scream out, releasing an extremely intense orgasm. Every muscle in her body tightened as she came in Olivia's mouth, making the older woman growl in pleasure. Once the girl had calmed down, Olivia laid down next to her and sighed. She had little time to think, however, as Courtney quickly pounced on her, hissing like a little kitten. Olivia kissed her passionately once more, arching her body immediately as the blonde penetrated her with three fingers.

As Courtney's right hand went to work between her legs, her left hand began an assault on the rest of Olivia's body, pinching, clawing, and scraping every inch of Olivia's olive skin. Olivia groaned beneath her, moaning the younger woman's name appreciatively. Her arousal had been building since the night she left New York, and feeling Courtney's teeth graze her left breast, Olivia lost it, succumbing to her first orgasm in weeks. She buried her head in the pillow, arching her body and groaning Courtney's name, fighting the urge to scream. Finally, after several moments, Olivia collapsed on the bed, trying to regulate her breathing and calm her heartbeat down to its normal rate. "Oh my god," she murmured.

"I told you," Courtney whispered, laying down next to her. Her fingertips traced gentle patterns along Olivia's chest, and her piercing blue eyes locked with Olivia's chocolate brown ones. "You're so beautiful," she sighed, snuggling closer to her. "Should I leave now?"

"No, you can stay," Olivia mumbled, turning the bedside light off. She rolled onto her side, turning her back to Courtney, and succumbing to sleep a few moments later.

The next morning, she woke at six AM and reached for her phone, realizing she had never turned it back on. Grabbing it from the nightstand, Olivia turned over and paused when she noticed the sleeping blonde in her bed. "Oh god," she whispered. "What the hell did I do?"

As the memory of the previous night flooded into her mind, the guilt of what she had done consumed her. Olivia slipped out of bed and made her way into the bathroom, locking the door. She dialed Casey's number and sighed when it went to voicemail. "Casey, it's me," she murmured, trying to prevent her voice from echoing off of the tiled walls. "I need to talk to you. It's urgent." Olivia sighed and hit the end button. Sighing, she sat on closed toilet and stared at the wall. "What did I do?" she asked, burying her head in her hands.


	34. Chapter 34

Casey woke to the blaring sound of her alarm. She blindly reached for the off switch, and ended up hitting every button except the one she wanted in the process. Finally, however, she silenced the alarm, and, groaning softly, laid back down. She hated having to be at work this early in the morning. It was draining, and it was frustrating having to be up and ready before the sun every morning.

Hearing her phone vibrate, reminding her that she had a voicemail, Casey reached for it, retrieving it from the dresser. She dialed speed dial one, typed in the password to access her messages, and listened to the monotonous voice tell her she had one new message. As it played and Casey heard her wife's message, Casey's worries increased sharply. She hoped that nothing had gone wrong with the undercover operation, and that everyone was okay, including Olivia and any potential victims. Sighing as the message finished playing, Casey dialed her wife's number and listened to the phone inform her that her call had been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system, which was no less than what she had expected. "Olivia, it's me," Casey murmured, her sleepiness very evident in her voice. "I just listened to your message. I'm worried, babe. What the hell is going on? Did something happen to place the operation in danger? I am really stressed right now. Please call me when you get this. I love you." Casey hit the little red end button and turned her head to look at the clock on the nightstand. She sighed softly. It was five thirty three. Time to be ready for the world. Whether she wanted or not.

After dropping the twins off at the babysitter's, Casey drove to the office, knowing that getting there at the crack of dawn, before court, was going to be the only way she would be able to get any work done. At home was proving impossible. Since Olivia had been gone, the girls had been glued to Casey's side, and researching things she didn't want her daughters to see was impossible when, nine times out of ten, they were in her lap begging her to play. And by the time they went to bed at night, she was too exhausted to do much of anything. This was her only option.

Casey yawned, turning her computer on. As it booted up, she poured a cup of coffee, too full without meaning to. She carefully stirred in three sugars and a dash of powdered creamer, and carried it back to her desk, sitting down once more. A quick glance at her computer revealed that it was updating. Casey sighed, crossing her legs and focusing her attention at nothing in particular as her mind wandered, trying to come up with any possible thing that could have gone wrong with Olivia's operation in California. Thoughts streamed through Casey's head at a rate that made her dizzy. _What if she's hurt? What if someone kidnapped her? What if her partner is hurt? What if a victim was killed? What if she was outed? _The one thought that never crossed Casey's mind, however, was _What if there is someone else?_ Casey sighed, pulling out of her thoughts when she heard her computer beeping, announcing that it was ready for logging into She quickly typed her password and had just started to stand up when her phone rang, piercing the silence with Olivia's signature ring tone. She grabbed it and quickly answered it. "Okay, so you're not dead," she answered, feeling an immediate sense of relief wash over her. "Babe, what's going on?" she asked, not wasting any time.

Olivia sighed. "I need to talk to you," the older woman answered quietly.

"Yeah, I gathered that from your urgent voice mail. Is everything okay with the undercover thing?" Casey asked. "I mean, no one is hurt, right?"

"No. None of us here are hurt. Casey, I need to tell you something, but I am not sure how to do so, without making you hate me."

"Olivia, I could never hate you, babe, you know that," Casey replied, meaning every word of it.

Olivia was silent for several moments. Just when Casey began to think they had lost the call, the brunette spoke. "I met this girl last night. She was beautiful, and charming, and very playful."

"Was she a potential victim?" Casey asked, not grasping the significance of her wife's choice of words.

"No. She was just a girl who went to the club looking for someone to have a one night stand with..." Olivia trailed off, took a deep breath, and continued. "...And I gave it to her. I slept with her...I'm so sorry, baby. I hope you can forgive me. No matter what happens, it is you I love, and it is you I want. I always have and I always will."

It took several moments for the confession to sink in. Casey sat at her desk, stunned as the information collided with her. "Oh my god," she murmured. "I...oh my god."

"Casey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. It was only one night, and I promise that is all it will ever be. You have to know how awful I feel. I understand if you hate me, but all I know is that if I had a chance to do it over, I wouldn't have done it. Can you forgive me?"

"I don't know," Casey answered quietly, nearly dropping her phone. Tears stung her emerald eyes, fighting to escape, but she refused to let them. "I kept thinking about all of the things that could have gone wrong with this undercover thing...you betraying me with another woman never even crossed my mind." Casey paused, wiping a tear that had stubbornly fallen despite her efforts to stop it. Her voice trembled as she spoke. "How old is she?"

Olivia sighed deeply. "She's twenty one," the detective admitted.

Casey choked on her tears. "Since you like younger women so much, and since I'm apparently too old for you, I'll save you the problem of dealing with me anymore. Expect divorce papers on your desk when you get back, by which time me and our daughters will be long gone."

"Casey-" Olivia tried to protest, but Casey cut her off by hanging up, tossing her phone onto the desk, where it landed with a clatter.

She buried her head in her arms on top of the desk, and dissolved into quiet sobbing. She knew she was thinking with her heart instead of her brain in even thinking about divorce, but at the moment, all she knew was that the woman she loved had betrayed her with another girl. A _younger_ girl. And a barely legal one at that.

Casey's crying lasted for another hour, by which time she just laid limply at her desk, too emotionally exhausted to do much of anything. She couldn't believe this was happening. It was like a dream had suddenly turned into a nightmare, one that was impossible to wake up from and be assured that it was all a dream.

Court was another piece of the nightmare. Casey, whose mind kept wandering to the conversation she and Olivia had earlier that morning, was so upset that she forgot a large chunk of her opening argument, and a considerable amount of questions she had planned to ask the defense witnesses were never asked. After a stern lecture from Judge Petrovsky (just another highlight to her day), the attorney gathered her things and rushed out of the courthouse, nearly tripping down the front steps on her way to the car.

Her first stop was the office where Trevor Langan worked. She dropped off the research that she had gathered that could be of potential help to the defense, then drove home, which was, thankfully, about half the distance away from the courthouse as the office. Upon arriving, Casey parked the car in the front, which she rarely did, and made her way inside. Tossing everything onto the couch, including her briefcase, purse, and jacket, she curled up on the love seat and resumed crying once more, though the tears did little to ease her pain.

Her phone rang four times, and four times she ignored it, until finally, she turned it off. Finally, when she could cry no more, Casey laid still on the loveseat, trying to figure out what she needed to do. Part of her wanted to leave Olivia, since it seemed clear that Olivia didn't love her enough to stay true. But then there was also the typical piece of her, the chunk that loved Olivia with everything she had, despite the pain. Casey sighed and reached for the picture on the table next to the loveseat, and looked down at it. It had been taken on their wedding day. Casey gently brushed her fingertips across her wife's picture and sighed. "What do I do?" she whispered. "How could you do this? How could you hurt me so badly?"

Casey laid down once more, still holding the photograph. She didn't want to leave, but she didn't know if she could stay. And she especially knew that another several months was going to be too long without Olivia. All she could hope for now was that Olivia would catch the creep early, and come home, so that they could talk. Meanwhile, Casey reached for the house phone, lifting it from its cradle. She dialed the number of a company a friend had suggested to her years ago, surprised that she even remembered the number. Hearing a woman pick up and ask how she could help, Casey took a deep breath and said "This is ADA Casey Novak. I want to obtain a divorce."


	35. Chapter 35

Casey looked down at the papers in front of her and sighed as she continued to fill them out, which was made somewhat difficult by the fact that her eyes were blurred with tears and her hand was shaking, making it almost impossible to form her letters correctly. She had already filled most sections with the necessary information. Currently she was filling out the section that discussed the number of children in the household and their names. Finishing the top paper, the redhead moved it aside and switched to the next one, sighing when she realized the next form was a petition for a legal name change. She silently cursed how difficult it was to do something as simple as change from maiden name to married name and back again.

"Mommy?"

Casey looked up, sighing softly when she saw Serena standing in the entrance to the dining room, holding out her favorite baby doll. "Hey, sweetheart," she murmured.

"What's wrong, Mommy?" Serena asked, walking over to her and raising her arms, indicating that she wanted to sit in Casey's lap.

Casey gently lifted her, and hugged her as Serena made herself comfortable. "I'm okay, honey," she answered vaguely. She hadn't told the girls about what was going on yet. Part of it was because she had no idea how to break the news. But, above all, it was because saying it out loud meant it was really happening, and Casey knew that if she attempted to talk about it, she would break down all over again, and possibly chicken out. "Where's your sister?"

"Taking a bath," Serena answered, reaching for one of her mother's dark red curls.

"Taking a bath?" Casey repeated, alarm immediately consuming her. She gently placed her daughter on the floor and ran out of the dining room, through the living room, and up to the second floor, taking the steps two at a time. She paused in front of the closed door to the bathroom and tried to open it, but it was locked from the inside. Hearing the water running, Casey began to panic. "Stephanie, I need you to open this door for me, now," she ordered. Hearing no response, Casey tried to the door again, panicking even more when it still refused to budge. She immediately began to think of everything that could have happened, and each worry that crossed her mind ended at her daughter's funeral. "Stephanie, open the door!" Casey cried.

Just when she was about to hurry downstairs for a screw driver, the door opened, and Stephanie stood in the doorway, looking up at her. "I'm okay, Mommy."

Casey looked past her, noticing the overflowing bathtub. "Oh god," she murmured, hurrying over to the bathtub. She slipped on the wet floor and nearly fell in the process. "Steph, what did you do?" she moaned once the water was shut off and she had unplugged the drain.

"Sorry, Mommy," Stephanie murmured, carefully walking over to her and sitting down next to her on the edge of the tub. "Are you mad at me?" she asked quietly.

Casey sighed and wrapped her arms around her daughter, holding her. "I'm not mad at you, honey. I was just worried. You know better than to be around water when you're by yourself. I can't bear the thought of seeing you get hurt, or your sister."

"Or Mama," Stephanie pointed out, much to Casey's chagrin. Stephanie placed her finger on her mother's nose and giggled. It was one of her favorite things to do, and Casey had given up on trying to figure out why. "I heard you."

"You heard me what?" Casey asked, wondering what the little girl was talking about.

"The phone," Stephanie answered, pulling out of Casey's arms and looking up at her. "Where's Mama?"

Casey sighed, burying her head in her hands. She felt her daughter's hand on her shoulder but it did little to ease her frustration. She realized, with horror, that Stephanie had overheard her on the phone with a friend earlier the day. The words echoed through her memory as she remembered what she had said. _"When Olivia comes home, she will discover that she no longer has me, or our daughters, and I will do everything in my power to make sure she never sees them again." _It had been said in the heat of the moment, but how could she explain the circumstances to her children, who were only two? They were bright, but they were still far too young to understand what was happening. "Stephanie," Casey began, wondering what to say. She hated to lie, but telling the truth could have just as dire effects, especially if the girls never forgave her. "Come with me." Casey lifted her daughter off of the floor and held her in her arms as she stood up, then managed, with one hand, to grab a towel and dry the floor off. Placing the towel in the laundry, she carried Stephanie downstairs and into the dining room, sighing when she noticed Serena standing up on the chair. "You two are killing me," she groaned, placing Stephanie on the floor and then lifting Serena from the chair and placing her on the floor next to her sister. "I want to tell you two something," she announced.

"What, Mommy?" Serena asked, climbing onto her chair and sitting down. Stephanie did the same thing, and both girls looked to their mother for further explanation.

Casey sighed, taking the seat that was normally occupied by Olivia at the head of the table. She folded her hands and looked from one daughter to the other. "Serena," she said, looking at Serena, "and Stephanie," she continued, her gaze landing on Stephanie, "You know that you are loved by both of your mothers. You are the pride and joy in our lives, and we would never want to hurt you." Casey paused, biting her lip thoughtfully. She wondered how to go on. "Mama is in California, doing some things for her work. Police work. When she comes back..." Here Casey broke off, utterly lost as to what to say next. There was no way to cushion this, she realized, other than not tell them, and she knew they would find out eventually, no matter how long she managed to hide the truth. It was now or never. "When she comes back she won't be here anymore."

"Where?" Serena asked, meaning she wanted to know where Olivia would be going.

"I don't know," Casey answered truthfully. "But not here."

"Why?" Stephanie chimed in.

Casey sighed softly. "Because...she did something...to hurt me, and you two as well. We have to leave. I know you two are going to hate me, and I'm sorry, but I have to do what's best for you." Casey realized she was rambling about something the girls probably had no clue about, but at the same time, she could see by the intrigued way both of them were leaning forward, listening to her, that they at least understood some of what she was saying.

"Mommy's leaving?"

"Yes," Casey answered. "I'm sorry, girls."

"Come back?"

Casey shook her head. "I don't know yet." She paused when she heard her phone ring. She had turned it on at her boss's request, in case he needed to get ahold of her. But this call was from Olivia, and, once again Casey hit the ignore button.

Later that night, Casey laid on her back, alone in bed. The girls had screamed and cried, but Casey had managed to calm them down and put them to bed. Now she was listening to the voicemails in her inbox, many of which were from Olivia. Casey hit delete on another one and listened to the last one. Her tears began to fall again as she listened to her wife's voice. "Casey, please don't ignore me. I know I messed up, and I know I don't deserve you anymore, but I love you with everything I have. Courtney means nothing to me! You're the one I can't bear to lose. Please call me, Case. We need to talk. All I want is for you to forgive me."

Casey sighed, her finger hovering on the delete button. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and followed through, then laid her phone on the nightstand and sighed. She slid under the covers and buried herself, dissolving into sobbing once more. She was a wreck with Olivia...and she was a wreck without. There was no way to deny it: her heart wanted one thing and her brain wanted to run in the opposite direction. Either way, she was screwed.


	36. Chapter 36

Olivia sighed as Casey's phone went to voice mail yet again. This was ridiculous. It had been the same routine for three months now, and Olivia felt like she was losing her mind. She missed her wife, that much was obvious. She missed the beautiful redhead's sexy voice, the cute detective v. attorney flirting, and telling the woman she loved how much she meant to her. Her greatest fear was that they would never share those special things ever again. Now, as she attempted to call Casey again, Olivia counted how many times the other line rang before the voice mail message played. The number of rings had varied between two and five each call, so Olivia knew that Casey was hitting the ignore button. Sighing, the detective tossed her phone onto the dresser and rummaged through her suitcase for several minutes before choosing an outfit for the day. Heading into the bathroom, she closed the door, locking it, even though Courtney was long gone. It had been months since that incident.

After a twenty minute shower consumed with guilt and anger with herself, Olivia towel dried her body and dressed in her signature clothes: a pair of black slacks, a button down blouse, and a black jacket. After quickly brushing her shoulder length hair, she tied her shoes, grabbed her purse (which she was not used to carrying), and, keys in hand, headed out of the hotel room and out of the hotel and to the car she had rented.

Arriving at the club, Olivia found her partner standing by the bar talking on the phone. She waited patiently for him to finish, then planted herself in front of him. Nick looked over at her. "You're here early. And aren't you supposed to be in a dress?"

Olivia glared at him. "It is only noon," she snapped. "I will go back to the hotel and change before my shift. Meanwhile, I have every intention of sitting here and keeping myself busy so I don't completely lose my mind." The detective paused, mentally kicking herself for being so candid. But ever since she had admitted to Casey what she had done, the fact that her wife was ignoring her had her on edge and freaked out, even more so than usual. "What are you doing here so early?" Olivia asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from herself.

Nick pointed to the enormous stack of posters in front of him and replied "I'm hanging posters for tonight's benefit. It's for singles."

Olivia sighed, folding her arms across her chest. "Perfect. Just what we need...being surrounded by a bunch of people desperate to find someone to drag into their bed."

"Olivia, are you okay?" her partner asked, his brow knitting in concern.

"I'm fine," Olivia answered quickly. She grabbed the tape and a chunk of the posters and added "We have work to do." She carried both into the back of the club and set to work hanging the posters, one on each wall.

Olivia had just finished with the last poster in her stack when she heard a scream from the front of the club. She placed the tape on the circular table in front of the row of couches and raced out of the back room and out to the main dance floor. There stood their suspect, in the flesh, attempting to grope a young girl, who couldn't have been more than fourteen. When the girl looked up and saw Olivia, Olivia placed her finger to her lips, indicating that she wanted to take full advantage of the fact that the suspect's back was turned to her. Olivia aligned herself directly behind him, and just as he spun around, aiming his knife at her, the detective knocked him to the floor and pinned him, quickly disarming him.

Nick chose that minute to enter, snacking on a doughnut. He paused, chewing as he looked from Olivia to the suspect to the young girl, who was hiding behind a pillar on the side of the dance floor, peeking out. "Did I miss something?"

Olivia kept her knee in the suspect's back, looking up at her partner. "No, I'm just down here for my good health," she snapped. As Nick shrugged, Olivia shook her head. Nick placed his snack on the bar table and switched places with her, lifting the suspect and holding his hands behind his back. Olivia slowly approached the potential victim and paused a few feet from her so she would not freak her out even more than she already was. "Are you okay, sweetie?" the detective asked.

"He tried to rape me!" the girl cried, ducking behind the pillar again. "Go away!"

Olivia sighed deeply, taking a few steps to the right so that she could keep her distance, and still keep eye contact with the young girl. "I know, honey," she answered, "but we're here to help you."

"You can't help me," the girl replied in a terrified whisper. "Nobody can. He owns me now."

"He will never own you again," Olivia assured her, holding out her hands so that the girl could take them if she wanted.

"He gave my mom five thousand dollars as a down payment for me. He can do anything he wants with me. I'm his girl now."

That caught Olivia off guard. She had been expecting the victim to tell her she was owned because the guy was her pimp, or something like it, but hearing that her own parents had sold her, the detective felt her blood boil in anger. "He can't hurt you anymore," she responded, this time not moving as the girl moved to another side of the pillar.

"Don't listen to her, baby, you know you're my girl," the suspect called out. He was quickly silenced by a slap upside the head, administered by Nick, who had already handcuffed him and was currently holding onto him, despite the suspect's struggling.

Olivia sighed, biting her lip thoughtfully. She had just come up with a potential solution to the girl's fear when the girl broke free and ran to her rapist, hugging him and kissing him, crying "Don't leave me. I'm sorry!"

Watching the rapist return his victim's kiss, Olivia cried "That's enough!" She closed the distance between them in a matter of steps and pulled the girl away. "Nick, would you escort our lovely bottom feeder to the car please?" she asked.

Nick nodded and roughly turned the rapist around, leading him to out of the club, reading the suspect his rights as he did so. "You are under arrest for rape and the attempted murder of a police officer. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up that right.."

The rest of the speech was inaudible to Olivia, as Nick had already exited the club by the time he finished the recitation. She turned back to the victim. "What is your name?" she asked.

"Why do you care?" was the catty response she received.

"Because it is my job to help you," Olivia answered. She gestured for the girl to sit down at the table in front of them, and took a seat across from her, folding her hands on top of the table. "Why don't you tell me what happened? First, let's start with your name."

The girl sighed, looking out the window, where she could see Nick place her rapist in his car. "Vanessa. Is James going to jail?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "I want to see him."

"You can't see him, Vanessa," Olivia responded. "He is going back to New York. He hurt a lot of other girls there, and it is my job to make sure we put him away so he can never hurt anyone again."

"Are you a cop?" Vanessa asked, raising her eyebrows curiously. "That is so coo! I've always wanted to meet a cop. So do you get like tired running all the time, and is it fun hitting people?"

Olivia shook her head. "Vanessa, focus, please," the detective answered. Meanwhile, she thought _Why does everyone think all we do is hit people? _"How old are you?"

"Fourteen," came the surprising answer.

Olivia nodded, sighing deeply. "How did you get involved with James?" she questioned, wondering how a creep like that seemed to attract so many innocent girls.

"I met him online," Vanessa answered offhandedly. "He was so sweet, and after we talked for a while, he asked me to marry him! And I said yes. He paid my mom five thousand dollars. Lucky for me, that bitch will do anything to feed her cigarette and coffee diet. We haven't gotten married yet. He said he wanted to show me something first. So he brought me here, and when we got here, he kissed me and pushed me against the wall, kissing me...it was so hot..."

Olivia tried to keep up with the way the young girl kept switching between personalities. So far she had seen a terrified victim morph into a cold hearted bitch, and then from that into a lovesick schoolgirl. "Vanessa, you screamed," she pointed out.

"In pleasure," she answered casually, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder in a manner characteristic of a valley girl. "See, he had me against the wall, and while he was kissing me, he took his hand and-"

"Vanessa, why did you say he tried to rape you?" Olivia asked.

Vanessa sighed. "I freaked out, okay? What would you do if you were with your boyfriend and then all of a sudden, a cop runs in and interrupts you? Besides, I was afraid of getting in trouble."

"Crying rape is a serious crime," Olivia replied. She sighed and looked again at the underage blonde. "Listen to me. I am going to take you to a friend of mine who helps girls like you whose parents sell them for drugs or sex or whatever the case may be. She will help you reconcile with your mother."

"Am I in trouble?"

"That is not really up to me," Olivia answered truthfully. "It is up to whoever takes control of your case. But I doubt they will do anything worse than warn you about the punishment for crying false rape."

"What about James?" Vanessa asked quietly. "I'll miss him."

Olivia sighed. "James is going to prison in New York for raping and killing four other girls. By the time he gets out, if he gets out, he will be too old to rape anyone ever again."

"He raped someone?" Vanessa asked. "But he said I was his one and only. He said he loved me, and that he would never ever do anything to hurt me."

"He lied to you, Vanessa. Just promise me that you will never say yes to a strange man you meet online. You're a bright girl, honey. I don't want to receive a call informing me that something happened to you."

Vanessa nodded, dropping her gaze to the patterned floor below. "I promise. I'm sorry," she whispered.

Olivia placed her hand on top of the young girl's to reassure her. "You will be fine," she promised. "Just be safe." She smiled softly. "Protect yourself, and I promise you will be okay."

Vanessa stood up and walked over to Olivia, hugging her tightly. "You saved me," she murmured.

"It's my job," Olivia answered, returning her hug. She retrieved her business card from her pocket and handed it to Vanessa, who took it. "Call me anytime you want to talk, alright?"

"Okay," Vanessa replied, reading the card. "Thank you, Detective Benson."

Olivia nodded and led her out and to the car, making sure she was comfortable in the passenger seat. She looked at Nick, who was guarding the car that James was locked in. "I'm going to take her to a friend of mine. Why don't you take him to the local precinct? I'll meet you there. Once the loose ends are tied up, we can pack and then go to the airport, book a flight, and go home."

Once she was in her car, Olivia shifted it into drive and headed towards her friend's house. That was one issue taken care of. Now she just had to do the impossible, and get her wife to forgive her.


	37. Chapter 37

Casey stood under the running water from the shower, the hot water dial nearly to its maximum and the cold barely on at all. Normally, the scalding water would have had her begging for an ice bath, but not tonight. At the moment, however, the attorney could barely feel the reddening of her skin in response to what should have been painful. She sighed and combed her fingers through her beautiful red hair, making sure it was completely rinsed. The tears over Olivia had long since dried up, leaving her numb. She was unable to think of much else, and everything somehow reminded her of her wife, but, nonetheless, she was no longer able to cry.

Casey turned the water off and stepped out of the shower, reaching for her favorite towel. After groping for it for several moments, she paused, confused. She had purposely placed it in its normal spot, the way she always did before taking a shower. She wondered briefly if one of the twins had taken it, but they were at her parents' house, so that option was out. Sighing, Casey looked around the bathroom, realizing, with dismay, that every other towel was currently in the washer, and therefore unable to be used.

"Damn it," the attorney muttered to herself, carefully walking across the tiled floor and out into the bedroom. She yawned, then looked out the window at the dark city outside and sighed. "Why does everything keep going wrong?" she whispered. "I try to do the right thing...I really do. I pay my taxes, I punish the bad guys, I love my children. I only lie when it's absolutely necessary, and I've never cheated, stolen, or done anything against the law. Why are you punishing me like this?" Casey asked, and though she at times wondered if her messages were even heard by whoever was out there in the universe, sometimes just venting out loud like this helped her clear her mind.

She had just curled up on the window seat when she felt a cloth in her lap. Looking down, Casey saw that it was the towel. Slowly, she looked from it to the person who had dropped it there. "What are you doing here?" she demanded, jumping up and quickly covering herself.

"It's not like you have anything that I haven't seen before," came the reply.

Casey scoffed, sidestepping her surprise visitor and rushing out of the light. "Olivia, what the hell are you doing here?" she asked, holding the towel to her naked body. She had never guessed she would one day be hiding her body from the older woman, but things had changed, and privileges had been lost.

Olivia sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. Casey could make out the outline of a folder in the detective's hand. It was the divorce papers, she realized. "Casey, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry? We arrested the creep, saved one of his victims, and then I thought I could come home and we could talk. But instead, after dropping him off at central booking, I drove to work, and found _this _on my desk!" She dropped the folder onto the bed and sighed. "Do you hate me that much that you can't forgive me?"

"Forgive you?" Casey asked, her voice a high pitched squeak, which infuriated her. That was definitely not what a prosecutor should sound like. She shook her head. "I don't know if I can forgive you, Olivia. I know you thought you could come back and everything would simply fall back into place, but I...I can't do that. You got into bed with another woman, who, might I add, was barely freaking legal. You have no idea how much it broke my heart when you called me that morning and told me. I was gone for three years and I never once betrayed you. Not once! You were gone for less than a month!" Casey sighed and curled up on the window seat, something she always did when she wanted to think, focus, or calm down, all of which she was currently desperate to do.

"I know, Casey, and you have no idea how horrible I feel. When I woke up and it was her I saw, fast asleep next to me, I couldn't believe what I had done. I don't make any excuses for what I did, but maybe, if you would like to forgive me, you can take into account the fact that I had been drinking?" Olivia asked hopefully. "You know how I get when I drink."

Casey sighed, laying her head against the window. "Drinking is no excuse," she whispered. "If it were, think about how many rapists could use that as a defense? Oh, sorry Judge, I didn't mean to rape her, I just had one too many beers. They already use that excuse, but if it were made legal..everything would be royally screwed. Besides, I draw you to my previous point: when I first heard from the Bar after they decided to suspend me, I drank I don't even know how many shots of scotch. But I never cheated on you. I never betrayed you, no matter how much I had to drink." She looked over at her wife, who was sitting in bed reading the divorce papers. "Olivia, how could you?" the redhead asked, her heart jumping into her throat, creating a painful lump.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said again. "Casey, I had a moment of weakness, but it's you I want to be with. It's you I have not been able to get out of my mind, you that I was worried about never seeing again, and you that I cannot bear to lose." The detective looked down at the papers again and shook her head, tossing them onto the bed once more and falling onto her back. "I'm not signing these," she added, looking over at Casey, who was deliberately refusing to look anywhere but out the window. "I am not going to willingly let you escape from me again."

"Haha, you're funny," Casey snapped. She knew she was being sarcastic, cynical, and perhaps a bit mean, but seeing Olivia was too much for her broken heart to handle. Especially since she had spent the last several months unsuccessfully attempting to get over the older woman. Now, it felt like she had just skidded back to square one, with her heart's desires once more colliding with her brain's logic. One thing was clear: this was a losing battle that she could never win.

Olivia stood up suddenly from the bed and walked over to Casey, sitting down next to the younger woman, while also placing herself in a position that prevented the redhead from getting up and leaving. "Casey, forgive me," she pleaded, taking Casey's hands and gazing into her beautiful emerald eyes, her own chocolate brown ones full of a look that would have made a puppy dog melt.

"I can't," Casey whispered, pulling back. "At least, I don't think I can...I mean, at least not right now and..." She sighed, losing her train of thought when she made the mistake of locking eyes with her wife, who really did look beautiful. "Olivia, stop," she begged quietly. "I can't do this. Please. You made your decision by sleeping with another woman..and even if I were to forgive you and tear those papers up, what assurance would I have that you would be faithful to me? How can I ever trust you again?"

Olivia brushed a stray curl out of Casey's eyes and looked at her. "Give me one more chance," she requested. "If I mess up again, then you can leave me, once and for all. Casey, you know I'm not one to ask for second chances, but now I am begging you."

"I don't know," Casey whispered, her gaze falling to the floor. But she could feel her resolve weakening. Olivia smelled so wonderful, and Casey had missed going to sleep in the older woman's arms at night. She had missed the beautiful sound of her wife's voice, the cute pet names, and so many other things. Casey took a deep breath, inhaling, and suddenly collapsed, sobbing, burying her head into Olivia's chest. "How could you?" she whispered. "How could you do this to me? What did I ever do to you? Why do I deserve this?"

Olivia wrapped her arms around the younger woman, enclosing her in a loving embrace. She sighed deeply, laying her chin on top of the attorney's head. "I'm sorry," she whispered again and again. "I'm so sorry. I promise if you give me another chance, I'll make it up to you. I promise that, given a second chance, I will never hurt you again. What do you say?"

Casey slowly lifted her head and looked into her wife's eyes. "I...I don't know what...to say," she admitted quietly. "My heart and my brain are having some difficulties reaching a consensus over here. Olivia, why did you do it?" she asked suddenly.

"I don't know," Olivia answered, sighing. "It sort of just happened, I guess. I didn't mean for it to. It meant nothing. It was just sex, and was by no means what happens when we are in bed together. But, regardless of what it was, I swear to you, I will never do it again. Can you forgive me?"

"Well, you forgave me when I moved across the country four years ago, and you forgave me when I told you what career I took up there. I can try to forgive you, but it will take time, Olivia, time and effort. I am not going to tell you that I will forgive you so that you can simply expect to be off the hook. I don't know if things will ever be the same between us, but maybe, with a lot of work, and equal amount of time spent, we can get as close to it as possible." Casey laid her head on Olivia's shoulder and sighed softly. She hated how much of a pushover she was, and how easily the older woman had forced her resolve to weaken and crawl back into her arms. It was no longer the fairy tale marriage she had once dreamed about. That was long since gone. But, if Casey were to admit it to herself, she knew all along that she didn't have the courage to go through with the divorce, which made Olivia's refusal to sign the papers a sort of blessing in disguise. She knew they had a lot of work to do, and things were going to be tense between them for a while, but they were married, and it was the start of their second chance at love.


	38. Chapter 38

When Casey woke the next morning, it was to the blaring beeping of her alarm clock. Her eyes still closed, the attorney groaned softly and fumbled blindly for the off switch before rolling onto her back and attempting to fall back asleep. She had just started to drift off again when she felt the bed sag underneath new weight, and she felt her hair being pulled from both sides.

"Mommy, wake up," came a singsong voice that Casey recognized as Stephanie's.

"Wake up," Serena echoed, pulling on Casey's long red hair again.

Casey sighed softly and slowly opened her eyes. As she did she came face to face with both of her daughters, who were staring down at her eagerly. "Girls, why are you up so early?" she asked, rubbing her eyes in an attempt to wake herself up and force her eyes to stay open. "Where is Grandma?"

"Grandma called." Stephanie held up the receiver for the house phone, illustrating her point. "She's sick."

Casey sat up slowly and looked at her daughter, who had curled up at the head of the bed on Olivia's side. "She's sick?" the redhead repeated. She paused for a moment. "Stephanie, what did I tell you about answering the phone when Mama and I are gone?" she asked. She did not intentionally sound so frustrated, but she and Olivia knew firsthand what kind of creeps existed in the world, and dealing with them at work was enough horror. Worrying about their children being exposed to that was enough to make Casey crazy.

"Sorry Mommy," Stephanie answered, laying her head on Casey's shoulder and hugging her.

Casey sighed. "It's okay, sweetie. Listen, I'll call Aunt Marissa and see if she can come over. Would you like that?" The words were barely out of her mouth before the twins shrieked in excitement. When they were done, Casey wondered if her eardrums had burst yet. "I'll take that as a yes," she added, unable to resist the urge to smile. She looked at the clock and sighed, noting that it was just after eight. "Okay, let's go. I'll make you two breakfast." The attorney helped her daughters out of bed, then followed them out of the bedroom, down the stairs, and into the kitchen.

Forty five minutes later, she handed Serena a plastic cup full of orange juice and Stephanie one with apple and made sure they were situated with their bacon, eggs, and toast, as well as silverware and napkins. As they began to eat, Casey grabbed the receiver, the same one that Stephanie had brought her, and dialed her friend Marissa's number. She leaned against the counter, keeping an eye on the girls as the other line rang. Finally, just when she worried that it was going to go to voice mail, her call was answered. Hearing a groggy greeting from the other end, Casey smiled softly. "Marissa, it's Casey. I know it's early, and trust me, I wouldn't call you if it wasn't important. My mom can't babysit today, and I know the twins love you, so I was hoping I could sweet talk you into babysitting?"  
>"Hey, Case," Marissa replied. It was clear that she had just woken up, if her sleepy tone was any indication. "Your girls are very well behaved, and I would love to babysit them, but I don't know how long I can stay. I have a family thing tonight."<p>

Casey covered the phone with her hand and looked over at Serena, who was standing on her chair. "Serena Marie, sit down before you get hurt," she ordered. As Serena shrugged and did as she was told, Casey sighed and spoke into the phone once more. "I understand, Marissa. I should be home around six. I'll owe you one."

"I have to leave your place by six thirty at the latest though. What time do you need me to get there?"

Casey checked the clock. It was a quarter until nine. "Uh, how about ten?" she asked. "I have court at noon, but I need to swing by the office first, so I need to leave here by a quarter after."

"I'll be there. See you at ten," Marissa replied.

Casey smiled softly, though she knew her friend could not see her. "Thanks. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it," Marissa answered, before the line went dead with a simple click.

Casey placed the phone in its cradle and sat down at the table, watching her two daughters with a smile. Of their usual "frenemies" style relationship, the twins were clearly in their friend stage today, which was a major relief to Casey, who was going to be gone most of the day. "You girls better behave for Aunt Marissa," she warned. "Or the boogeyman will get you tonight."

"We'll be good," Serena promised, lifting a piece of bacon from her plate and biting into it. Casey noticed that her eggs were relatively untouched.

"Serena, honey, I know that you don't like eggs that much, but you need the protein," Casey said. "I even put cheese on them, just the way you like."

Serena poked at her eggs with her fork and laid her head on her arm. "Okay, Mommy," she conceded, taking a tiny bite and nibbling slowly. She met Casey's gaze and quickly swallowed.

Casey shook her head and looked over at Stephanie, whose plate was almost bare except for a few spare bites here and there. "Steph, if you're still hungry, there's more bacon. Want some?"

"No," Stephanie answered quickly, chewing on her last piece of bacon.

"No, what?" Casey asked. She didn't want to sound like a strict parent, but she knew that if there was any perfect age to instill good manners and behavior, it was around two.

Stephanie looked up at her and smiled softly. "No, thank you, Mommy," she replied.

"Much better." Casey returned her daughter's smile and then looked from one twin to the other. "Aunt Marissa will be here soon. When you two are done eating, I want you both to go into my room and sit down on the bed. I'll put on some cartoons for you while I get ready for work, alright? And, if you two behave while I am in the shower, and also while Marissa is here, I will take you both out for ice cream tonight. How does that sound?" She knew she did not even need to ask, because ice cream and dolls were the best incentives to get the girls to behave.

Serena smiled brightly. "Yay, ice cream!" she cried, before quickly shoving several bites of egg into her mouth.

"Serena, use your manners, please," Casey answered. "I don't want you to get sick, honey."

Serena swallowed and took another bite, though this one was noticeably smaller than the last one, which relieved Casey, who did not have the desire to take her little girl to the emergency room first thing in the morning.

Twenty minutes later, Casey turned the near boiling shower water off and wrapped a towel around her body and another around her hair. Stepping carefully out of the shower and onto the bare tile floor, she paused where she stood and listened for any sound from her bedroom. Hearing two distinct giggles and the sounds of the cartoons, Casey smiled to herself and checked on the girls just to make sure. They were so focused on laughing at the TV that they didn't notice her. Seeing them sitting so close to each other on the bed, co-existing without fighting, was a rarity that she reveled in, and one that she did not want to disrupt.

Leaving the door open a crack, she walked into the closet that was in the bathroom, and chose her outfit for the day. She dressed in a black suit with a light blue blouse peeking out, and zipped one of her favorite black skirts. After slipping into a pair of black stilettos, Casey dried and brushed her hair, pulling it back in a simple silver clip, then applied her make up. Once she was finished, the attorney checked her reflection in the mirror and smiled softly. She hung the towels up and turned the bathroom light off, closed the door, and stepped into the bedroom.

"You look pretty," Serena said, looking from the TV to Casey and back again.

Casey smiled. "Thank you, sweetie. What are you girls watching?" she asked curiously, examining the television, which was currently on commercial break.

"_The Little Mermaid_," Stephanie replied. "Sebastian was singing. He's funny."

Casey laughed. "I know, sweetheart. Listen, I want you two to promise me that you won't answer the phone or the door. Let Aunt Marissa do that, and only her, got it?"

"Got it, Mommy," Serena agreed.

"Good," Casey answered. Hearing the doorbell ring, Casey gave each of her daughters a hug and walked down the stairs and to the front door, the girls close on her heels. After peering through the peephole, Casey opened the door and smiled. "Marissa, you're early."

"How could I resist the temptation of seeing these two?" Marissa asked as the twins pounced on her, hugging her tightly. "I'm actually glad you called. I didn't have anything planned during the day."

Casey smiled and stepped aside to allow her friend to enter. She closed the front door and led Marissa and the twins into the kitchen. "Well, I appreciate you coming on such short notice. If you hadn't come, I think I would have had to take them to work, and a courtroom is definitely not a good environment for them."

"I understand," Marissa answered, sitting down at the dining room table. Serena and Stephanie crawled into her lap, still refusing to let go of her. "Even if you would have called an agency, there is no guarantee that you would have been able to get someone trustworthy."

"Exactly," Casey agreed. She checked the clock and sighed. "Okay, I really have to go if I'm going to avoid traffic. I'm glad you're here early, because I just realized that I need to stop for gas." The attorney grabbed her purse, zipped it, and then buttoned her coat, which had been draped over her chair at the table. Reaching for her briefcase, she took it and her purse, and made sure her keys were clipped to the strap on her purse. She hugged Marissa and then the girls and smiled. "For lunch, there is some pasta in the refrigerator for them. All you need to do is heat it up. No snacks unless they eat first, and no soda if they are bad. If they do have soda, only half a can each, maximum." Casey took a deep breath and checked the clock again. "I have to go."

Marissa nodded. "I got it," she promised, smiling reassuringly at the young attorney.

Casey thanked her once more, smiled, and then rushed out. She had a long day ahead.


	39. Chapter 39

By the time she arrived at her office after court, Casey was extremely frustrated. Having been yelled at in open court by Judge Petrovsky had made her feel like she was five years old again and had gotten caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Casey had been a prosecutor with the Special Victims Unit for almost nine years, plus the three years she had been censured for, and she still had not been able to deduce why the judge hated her so much.

Hanging her coat on the rack, Casey closed the door and sat down at her desk, sighing. She checked the clock, noting that she needed to be home in approximately an hour and a half, which meant she would need to leave the office in forty five minutes. For now, she wanted some alone time to gather her thoughts and relax, away from her coworkers, the stress of the job, and everything else that had been weighing on her mind lately. Not the least of which was Olivia's betrayal, which still stung to think about, as if the knowledge were new.

Casey had been sorting through the list of evidence she had been given by Fin and Munch to see if they had enough probable cause for a search warrant, when she was startled out of her thoughts by a loud knock on the door. The attorney sighed and called out 的t's open,without looking up from her reading. As she heard the door open, her gaze wandered up curiously, and she sighed once more when she saw Olivia standing in front of the door, which the detective quickly closed. 徹livia, what are you doing here?Casey asked. 的 have to get this done and try to drop it off at the precinct before I go home. I can't have any distractions. The redhead turned her attention back to her paperwork, attempting to ignore the intoxicating scent of her wife's cologne. _Why does she affect me like this? I'm hopelessly in love._ That was the thought that ran through Casey's mind at that moment, rather than the more appropriate _Hearsay rarely counts as probable cause in a judge's eyes. _

的 had to go check on a victim, who called and told me she needed someone to talk to. After I left her place, I figured I would stop by here since your office was only twenty minutes away. Casey, believe me when I say that working yourself to death is not going to help you get over the stress or the pain. All it does is make you feel overwhelmed, which makes things worse in the long run."

Casey sighed, capping her pen and dropping it onto the desk. She folded her arms on top of the desk and looked at the older woman, her normally emerald eyes more of a murky green in her current emotional state. 徹livia, this is not because I feel overloaded because of work. That is a completely different feeling. This is because my wife can't keep her hands to herself, and that, combined with the fact that I have been practically a single mother for the last several months, has me on edge. I think I'm entitled to be frustrated, don't you?she asked, though she knew it was a rhetorical question.

鼎asey, how many times do I have to tell you I am sorry? I promise you, with everything at stake, that I will never so much as look at another woman that way, ever again. If I'm working and I happen to see a naked victim, I'll just allow my mind to wander to sexy visuals of everything I want to do to my sexy wife."

Casey tried not to smile, but despite her best attempts, her lips curled up anyway. 徹livia,she murmured, her gaze falling once more to her paperwork. 的 don't want you to do that, and besides, it's not that simple. I'm not asking you not to think anyone else is beautiful. I just...the attorney trailed off, wondering where her point was headed along this slippery slope of reasoning. It rarely took much for her logic to escape her when she was around Olivia, especially when the older woman's chocolate brown eyes had taken on an irresistible pout, as they were doing at that very moment. 鼎heating is the worst thing you can do in a relationship, Olivia. It is the ultimate betrayal, and I've been cheated on so many times...I just thought you were different,she added quietly, her voice dropping to a mere whisper.

It was Olivia's turn to sigh. The detective leaned forward, placing her hand on top of Casey's, which was resting on the surface of the desk. 鼎asey, look at me,she ordered softly. As Casey's gaze slowly rose to meet hers, Olivia offered a tiny smile. 滴urting you was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I had no right to do that, and trust me, nothing you can call me can be worse than everything I have already called myself. But I promise you, in the name of my love for you, that you are my princess, my baby, my everything. I will never hurt you again, no matter what. The brunette stood up and walked over to the other side of the desk. Standing behind Casey, she placed her hands on the younger woman's shoulders and began to massage them, while murmuring 的 love you very much."

的 love you too,Casey murmured automatically, quickly becoming lost in the feel of the older woman's strong hands. It was one of the many things about Olivia that made Casey melt like butter.

Olivia brushed Casey's long red hair off her shoulder and placed a tender kiss on her neck. 鼎asey, honey, can you ever forgive me for being so stupid?"

泥idn't we have this discussion last night?Casey wondered out loud.

添es, but how do I know you haven't changed your mind since then?Olivia asked. 擢or all I know, when I get home tonight, there will be an 'I hate Olivia Benson' sign on the front door."

Casey rolled her eyes, too frustrated to laugh at the brunette's attempt to cheer her up. 典here's no sign that says that...yet. She turned around and looked up at her beautiful wife. 展as she better than me?she asked quietly. 展as she louder? Has she been with more women? Shaking her head, she turned around to face the desk once more so that her back was to Olivia.

鼎asey, no one is better than you, okay? You're beautiful, and kind, and loving. Your whimpers are the perfect companion to my screams. It's one of the many things that makes us so perfect for each other,Olivia replied with a soft smile, running her fingers lovingly through Casey's long red curls. 添ou're the only one I want,the brunette murmured, kissing the top of Casey's head. 鉄he may have been with more girls, but you know what? Knowing that I am the only woman you have ever been with has always made me feel proud, and special, in so many ways. And that is better than having slept with a multitude of people and having perhaps too much experience."

Casey exhaled slowly, her shoulders moving up and down as she breathed. Olivia's words were tugging on her heartstrings, making her feel the same way she had on their very first night together, almost five years before. She was torn between finding it difficult to forgive the older woman, and the desperate desire to turn around, kiss her passionately, and beg her to take her right then and there. Finding a compromise that would appease both decisions was going to be difficult, indeed. 徹livia?Casey asked quietly, after a long pause, with the only sound in the room being the clock on the wall.

鄭nything for you,Olivia murmured, running her fingers through Casey's hair once more.

Casey shook her head. 鏑ast night, I agreed to forgive you, after acknowledging that it will take a long time. But before I can do that, babe, I think...I think I just need to see, over time, that you are loyal to me, and only me. If I see that, over an extended period of time, then I will know that it is safe to trust you again, and only then can I truly forgive you. Only then can we ever have any hope of ever being what we once were. I have to know that I can trust you again, babe."

的 know, honey,Olivia whispered, placing another kiss on the top of Casey's head. 的've never been in this position before. Usually people beg me to forgive them, not the other way around. I feel very strange, to tell you the truth...The detective trailed off, and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. 釘ut I will prove myself to you, no matter the strange circumstances. I can't bear to lose you or our daughters. Nothing and no one on this planet is worth that consequence."  
>徹livia, can you please stop with the monologues?Casey asked, turning to face her wife. 的 get it. Trust me, it's strange for me, too, being in this position. You're the alpha in this marriage, so why am I taking on the alpha role at the moment? The redhead shrugged, reaching for her coffee and taking a tiny sip of it. She winced as it scalded her throat, and placed it on the desk once more. 釘ut sometimes things change. I know it's strange, but it has to be done, you know? Casey looked down as Olivia took her hand. 的'm scared,she murmured. 摘verything already fell apart once. I just don't think I can handle it if it happens again. I can't take it, emotionally, mentally, or physically."<p>

的 know,Olivia answered, kissing Casey's forehead. 鏑ook at me. For the second time that night, emerald green locked with chocolate brown, as the two women gazed into each other's eyes. 鼎asey Novak, would you be my wife?she asked, with a small smile.

Casey smiled brightly. 的 already am your wife,she whispered. 釘ut if I say yes, do you promise to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live?she asked, hoping Olivia would ignore the fact that she had completely paraphrased the traditional wedding vows.

的 do,Olivia answered quietly, helping Casey to her feet and pulling the redhead in for a passionate kiss. For several moments, the only sounds in the room were the soft moans from Casey and the louder, deeper ones from Olivia as their tongues danced to a forbidden beat. Olivia pulled back slowly, and it was clear that she regretted it. 的 should get back to the precinct,she murmured. 的s there anything you need me to take back?"

Casey held up the evidence list, and the letter she had just placed the finishing touches on, before Olivia entered and their discussion started. 鼎an you give these to Fin and Munch?she requested. 的t's the evidence list they gave me when they asked if I could get a warrant, and the other paper is the quick note I wrote them telling them that I circled the few things on the list that we can use, but that we do not have enough for a search warrant yet."

Olivia nodded. 的'll give it to them,she promised. 的 should be home around midnight tonight, although I am expecting a victim to come in and talk to me. I think she's finally ready to tell me who attacked her, which is a relief, because I have spent days trying to figure it out, and I am blocked in every attempt. Her identification will be instrumental, because the creep left no forensics for us. No DNA, no fingerprints...the only lead we had was a brochure for a trip to Mexico, and that turned out to be hers."

的'm sure you'll figure it out,Casey murmured. 的 have faith in you,she added.

典hanks,Olivia replied, smiling. She kissed Casey gently once more and walked over to the door, opening it.

Casey sat down at her desk once more, then looked up. 徹livia?she asked. Seeing Olivia turn around and look at her questioningly, Casey smiled softly. 的 have faith in you in every way,she promised, knowing that, if anyone would catch the double meaning of her words, it would be her wife.


End file.
